Let’s see, what can I post today? "Errr ! . . Umm
! . . Errr !"
At times such
as these I seek my thinking hat, my friend and inspiration.
Do I remind you of a deep thinking Plato? . . . . or perhaps a Socrates? Definitely so, and certainly from the same stable, do you not think?
Don't be
fooled by that rather gormless and vacant external expression, for inside that
hat there is a positive powerhouse of activity and imagination, awaiting just a
flicker of inspiration to spark and unleash my next literary tsunami.
Can you
detect those powerful electrical impulses, jumping from dendrite to dendrite,
dendron to dendron ~ and initiating the birth of creativity, with thoughts leaping
from left cerebral hemisphere to right, at the speed of light? For this
thinking hat has magical properties ~ it has got me out of the mire of
inactivity and writer’s block on many occasions, and is powerful, rather like its
cousin, the sorting hat of Harry Potter fame.
But do I
feel a subject brewing? Not yet!! But wait!! Tarry a while ~ something is stirring,
and fast!!! I see a vision, not of this
age, but very clear and real, as if it was.
We are
being transported back in time, I can feel it ~ time is rushing backwards ever
so quickly ~ 400 years to an age we studied whilst at school ~ the age of Elizabeth
and Shakespeare, where language was more picturesque and words flowed as if by
the pen of the mighty Bard himself, if a tad less so by Francis Bacon.
I
imagined what life and everyday conversation might be like, thinking and
speaking in pseudo-Shakespearean. So tarry a while good friends for all will be
clear as thought cometh at this very hour, nay at this very minute! Nay, I am
not bonkers for I relive a scene experienced in my present, but relived as if in
yesteryear. It was the funeral reception of my good friend Nora, wife of Denis,
when I met their charming grand daughter.
"Good
morrow, fine Lady Leanne, ye are a maiden of such beauty, the like I have not
set eyes upon this very week, nay not even this very year. Tell me good Lady I
pray, how can it be that one so fair as ye can spring from the loins of that
plain and ordinary father I know so well. It is a puzzle to exercise a mind
indeed?"
I was
amazed when she replied, "I thank ye good Sir for your words so generous
and for those compliments so rare to my person - my eyelashes so long and finely
manicured do but flutter in the wind - come sup with me fine Sir and together we
shall have a merry conversation with words so free and plenty. Come, you may
embrace me on my cheek but naught else methinks, and then perchance, let us sit
and sup ale together and converse of joyful things!"
Wonderful
. . . If any young lad is looking in and
wondering how to talk to ladies, try it in Shakespearean, they like something a
little different. They get so bored being hit on all day long with the same old
crap, time and time again!! So be different and you can say anything in this
lingo and will not get your face slapped, I promise. She will see in you a man
of class and you will pass all her tests.
I did
wonder how on Earth William kept it up, writing glorious verses, line after
line, play after play, year after year?
Obviously it is a measure of his genius and we know there now is an enormous
following. Yet he was popular even during his own day, wasn't he?
I
wondered whether they all talked like that in the Elizabethan era, 400 years
ago, or was it just William who did? Surely not! OK he may have been a little more verbose than
the others and obviously knew how to hatch and develop a plot or two, and to craft
a canny story, but he would hardly go home from work and say to Anne Hathaway,
"Thank goodness I'm home, luv, where’s me tea, and now I can relax and let
me hair down and talk proper for a change".
Nay, it
must have been the language of the day, so I wondered how Queen Elizabeth might
have spoken to someone with whom she was most displeased. Perhaps, "Pray
good Sir, thou hast grieved me to the very core and before this very day is gone I shalt have thy head! Come, guards, escort this vile and evil man to my Tower
and let the rack regurgitate his secrets and strip him of his bowels!"
The poor
individual might plead his case by saying, “Methinks the lady doth protest too
much, my liege, hell indeed hath no fury like this woman’s scorn! . . . but
prithee show thy mercy upon thy lowly subject, Ma’am!”
“Enough
and begone, good Sir! For I hath made my judgement and this lady’s not for
turning, not on this day, nor for the morrow, nay, nor for any other day, savy!!”
Gosh, she was so intransigent, wasn't she? No wonder no-one dared propose marriage to her. She would have eaten them alive, just like a black widow spider.
But were they not so polite with all their 'Good Sirs' and 'Good Ladies'? Even when they were extremely annoyed, or were about to torture, kill or murder someone, or chop off their heads. We are not nearly as polite today - shame on us.
But were they not so polite with all their 'Good Sirs' and 'Good Ladies'? Even when they were extremely annoyed, or were about to torture, kill or murder someone, or chop off their heads. We are not nearly as polite today - shame on us.
The
executioner might have spoken, "Good Sir! My sharpened axe is thirsty for thy blood and at that appointed hour it will fall like falcon from the sky and
sever that vile receptacle which houseth thy brains and thoughts from thy lifeless
body. Aloft shall thy head be held and dripping blood, whilst from thy body
jets of blood will spurt into the very air to drench us."
Imagine
that poor chap waiting with his head on the block, time advancing so agonisingly
slowly, waiting, waiting, waiting for the axe to fall. He might say,
"Prithee thee, good Sir to act with haste according to the wishes of my
liege to make good speed with thy act so vile, for my knees do quake and smite one other in terror, and I am all of a dither and quiver ~ kindly make my future dark and
blank with utmost speed, kind Sir."
“Nay good
Sir, such is thy request and I wouldst of course deny it. For I wouldst have my practice swing to smite and sever that scrawny neck in two with just a single blow, not two, nor three, for that wouldst insult my pride and I like my task well done. Hark, the watching
crowd is thirsty for their pleasure, for they wouldst have their sport and merriment, and when this
deed is done all would gasp with wonder should thine eyes blink when that bloody severed
head is held up high!” Gosh the poor man.
I looked
up William on google and asked, "How many children did William Shakespeare
have?" The answer was, "How the heck do I know!" Yet in another
place I learned, three ~ not many for those days and I wondered why. I have a
suggestion. The answer might lie in the language Bill used to Anne. For perhaps
when the mood of love arose between them and was amplified by their overtures he might have
concentrated a little too much on his words of love, thus hindering his natural
progression and action. Consequently he might have said something like,
"Good day, Lady Anne, prithee tarry a while in patience for I am not yet
ready for the task that lies before me! Tarry a while and in due season watch
mine manhood bloom and blossom like a rose before thy very eyes, ‘As You Like
It!’"
Oh Bill,
you've blown it! That's a passion killer if ever I've heard one. She'll start
laughing and be no longer in the mood so you'll have to start all over again.
She might remark, "Good husband, I do not mock thee but merely show my mirth, for I grant thee (Hathaway) with words but this day thou doth amount to almost nought, and to me thou art but as a little boy. Methinks we should postpone this pleasure 'til another day when thou art more generously equipped, thus more fitting to the task before you. But hark! methinks thoughts of inspiration ~ two titles for thy plays spring forth between my ears. So, my good husband, no longer wrestle with these conundrums for these titles be clear and likened to a cloudless sky, just like this day’s experience ~ 'Much Ado About Nothing' and 'A Comedy Of Errors'”
She might remark, "Good husband, I do not mock thee but merely show my mirth, for I grant thee (Hathaway) with words but this day thou doth amount to almost nought, and to me thou art but as a little boy. Methinks we should postpone this pleasure 'til another day when thou art more generously equipped, thus more fitting to the task before you. But hark! methinks thoughts of inspiration ~ two titles for thy plays spring forth between my ears. So, my good husband, no longer wrestle with these conundrums for these titles be clear and likened to a cloudless sky, just like this day’s experience ~ 'Much Ado About Nothing' and 'A Comedy Of Errors'”
“Anne, thou art an inspiration to behold, of former matters I shalt return this hour on
the morrow, but tarry with me no longer for words spring clearly in my mind and I must make utmost haste to regurgitate this genius ~ tarry no longer dearest wife, go put the kettle on. 'A pen - a pen my Kingdom for a pen',
for I have Macbeth's soliloquy germinating in my brain and I wouldst make these
words immortal, "Two truths are told as happy prologues to the swelling
act of the Imperial theme . . . . . . "
____________________________________________________
I posted this a number of years ago but recently reworked it and had some fun.
So talking like that won't get me slapped?
ReplyDeleteWill it leave me good and trapped?
Stuck talking instead of doing
Then they'd end up shooing
Not wanting to play with my umm wanker
Geez, checks and balances like a banker
Was that not in yee old tone?
Damn, better throw a dog a bone
lol . . .
DeleteHad a bit of fun writing this post
Taxed my Shakespeare the very most.
Hi Eddie....
ReplyDeleteNo idea....
Cheers!
Linda:o)
lol
DeleteThank you for coming my Good Lady Linda
It's just like looking through an open winda . . lol
To see what these folk said and what went on
And some strange events, in days which are gone.
Oh my!
ReplyDeleteAnd laughing at Pat's comment....
LOL . . . and yes, Pat is funny but very naughty . . . and you shouldn't laugh, you naughty girl . . . hahaha! :)
DeleteThat was fun! My mind started spinning some possible future posts ideas (current ridiculous headliner subjects receiving the William treatment?) :D
ReplyDeleteYes, good fun. Glad you exercised your chuckle muscle and good luck with the post ideas. Between us we might make the Bard turn in his grave . . haha!
DeleteI think you must be Will Shakespeare reincarnated!!!!! Very clever. Thou art indeed a man of many hidden talents.
ReplyDeleteThanks my good Lady Sham. Thou art exceeding thoughful and meethinks those talents must remain well hidden . . . . :)
Deleteawwwwh...oh so lovely to drop in and listen to you chat...somethings dont change, stay as you you lovely man..
ReplyDeleteluv saz x
Awww, Saz . . . what a lovely thing to say. You made my day, week and month. You are a lovely lady and sorely missed in BlogLand although I do see you on Facebook from time to time . . . but it is not the same as here. Sadly not many of us happy band of bloggers remain here and I post just now and then when inspiration beckons. I loved you Mum and she is still on my sidebar and love you too . . . Eddie x
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Beautiful image the building You chose well for the theme.
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