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Saturday 27 March 2010

The Sunday Roast

Watch Out! This Bunch Of Fives From Knucklehead Will Most Certainly Knock You Out For The Count! And listen folks - his sense of humour is awesome!! This guy really means business!

What!! He's just knocked the Ref, the MC and Eddie clean out of the ring - and demolished the entire roast in just 6 hours - what a record!! My this is going to be fun!! . . . . so glad he didn't bother to put on his knuckle dusters.

Eddie has just crawled back into the ring -dazed and reeling and seized a microphone from the bewildered MC.

And here is the face behind the fist! Beware! He's an expert in humour and he'll quickly find your chuckle muscle! . . . .

He'll have you in stitches and then leave his familiar calling card with his comment!

This week's interview is with Chris
who writes the blog,

Chris lives in Southern California but was raised in New Jersey and says he will always be an east coast guy at heart.

Thank you Chris - I've been looking forward to treating the folks to his one!

A very warm welcome to you and your followers

Here's the first of the standard questions. Why do you blog?

The answer to that question is the same as the answer to why men climb mountains. Because they are there. Wait, that doesn't make any sense at all, does it? Let's try again. Why do I blog? Mostly to work on the craft of writing humor and to have actual people read my stuff and provide feedback. At least that's why I started. Once I got into my blog, I discovered that the blogosphere is a fun little community, and I enjoy visiting other blogs and interacting with other writers and various riff raff -

(I'm looking at YOU, Suldog !!!)

LOL Great stuff, Chris, may I suggest you present Jim with a riff raff award? About time he got another!!!.

What's the story behind your blog name?

I've seen lots of blogs with really long names for example, "It's Gonna Take More Than a Hamburger to Make Me Happy" which is actually a really good blog, but the name strikes me as being a tad unwieldy. So when I was working on the name for mine, I decided to go with one word, that everyone could immediately identify with. After discarding things like "Crap", "Rash" and "Pain" for what I'd hope are obvious reasons, I thought of the word "Knucklehead". To me, it's a term of endearment, as in, "Ah, get over here ya big knucklehead." It seems to fit with the kind of nonsense I usually write.

What is the best thing about being a blogger?

Obviously, the millions of dollars that I make on an annual basis. Okay, seriously, it's the opportunity to get feedback from readers and to continually work on my writing skills. It's one thing to write stories that no one ever sees, but once actual people have access to your material it really raises the stakes a bit and keeps you honest (sometimes brutally honest). I've noticed that most comments readers make, not just on my blog but on everyone's, are 95% about the content of a given post That's fine, and I guess it's what most people are looking for, but I for one would appreciate some input regarding style and voice. I know that's tough to do, because you're never sure how someone is going to take constructive criticism, but I'd like to take this opportunity to invite my readers to share their thoughts on the "craft". Just try to be nice about it, okay? I also enjoy the blogging community. I've met a lot of wonderful people and great writers. You know who you are.

What key advice would you give a newbie blogger?

Never eat at a restaurant called "Mom's". Don't play cards with a guy named "Slick". Avoid Will Ferrell movies like cats avoid wood chippers. As for blogging advice, focus on quality rather than quantity. Specifically, make sure that you take the time to edit and revise your posts as necessary so every piece is the best it can be. You don't have to put up a new post every single day, in fact, I've discovered that it's better to space them out a bit so that your readers have a chance to see all of your work. And get yourself out there...commenting on and following other blogs will build your readership. Be patient!

What is the most significant blog post you've ever read?

I've read a lot of great posts, but one that really made an impression on me was a post by Suldog entitled "The Beer Train". It's simply fantastic writing, and it opened my eyes to what blogging CAN be about. Seriously, go read it. It's like Stephen King's "The Body" for the Blogosphere. Anyway, before I read "The Beer Train", my blog was fairly unfocused and random. Sully's piece inspired me to take the writing seriously and strive to create solid work.

What is the most significant blog post you've ever written?

Since my main goal is to write coherent stories that make people laugh, I'm not sure that "significant' really comes into play. That being said, my favorite piece is one entitled "Evel Knievel, Role Model From Hell" that tells the story of me and a couple childhood friends entering the world of daredevil-ism. It was a lot of fun to write, and it was probably the first post that I looked back on and said, "Hey, that's not bad."

If you were to suggest two blogs for roasting who would you pick, and why?

Oh, man, there are so many good ones. I think Jeff over at " Jeff Tompkins" would be a fun interview. His blog is one of my absolute favorites, brilliantly written and hilarious. And Mike W-J at "Too Many Mornings" is fantastic also.

That concludes the formal aspect of the interview but it would be nice to get to know you a little better while you are slowly turning on the roasting spit. So while you are screaming in agony above the open fire here are a few more questions for you.

What three things could you not live without?

"I can't live . . . if livin' is without you. I can't live . . . I can't give anymore." Thanks, Eddie, now that song's gonna be stuck in my head all day.Okay, first of all, I can't live without books. I love reading, especially crime fiction and courtroom drama like Scott Turow, John Grisham, Michael Connelly and John Lescroart. I also enjoy the humor of Christopher Buckley, Chris Moore, Carl Hiaasen and the inimitable Dave Barry. For Christmas, my fiance Theresa (author of the blog An Officer and a Garbage Can . . . she'd kill me if I didn't mention her) got me a Kindle, which is my new favorite toy. It's awesome. I don't think I could live without ESPN or sports in general. I'm a die hard Yankees and Jets fan. Yeah, this makes me a pathetically stereotypical guy, but I honestly don't care. And finally, there's no way I could enjoy my life at all without the company of my family and friends. All together now: AWWWWWW.

If we were to make a movie about blogland, what would it be and who would you cast in the leading roles?

I'd make a horror-flick entitled "Nightmare at Blog Cabin". At the first annual Cyber Woods Blog Festival, a zombie slasher named Quirkyloon (played by Halle Berry) starts picking off bloggers one at a time. The rest of the cast: Knucklehead: George Clooney (come on, who did you THINK I was gonna cast as myself, Don Knotts?) Suldog: The guy who played the dad in Juno. Candice (Life According to Candice): Kate Hudson Moog (Mental Poo): Seth Green Jeff ( Jeff Tompkins): Vince Vaughn Mariann (Blogged Down at the Moment): Jamie Lee Curtis Mike (Too Many Mornings): Luke Wilson Also, Mike and Candice would be a married couple. They will outsmart the evil villain Quirkyloon by killing each other themselves. Those of you familiar with the recent Knucklehead Blog-Off will find that amusing.No one would survive the horror at Blog Cabin.

If you could live your life again, who would you be and why?

Hugh Hefner, in a landslide. Let's be honest, is there any better evidence that humans can make deals with the Devil? The guy is 140 years old and he's still surrounded by beautiful women all day long, he's worth a bazillion dollars, and well, what else do you need? Does that make me shallow? Probably. But since I'm using my first life to be somewhat productive and contribute to society (such as it is), why not use the "bonus life" you're offering as a vacation filled with wanton lust. And won ton lust. You can never have enough Chinese food.

Hmm! See what you mean Chris, you would have fun for a while - but what happens when you reach 140? Still the end, isn't it! Think I'd rather back eternity - just my personal choice though!.

You have been given a wonderful talent from above. This causes you to make your mark on humanity and be world famous. In which area would prefer: a best selling novelist, a brilliant artist, a gifted musician, a fantastic singer, a charismatic leader, anything you choose, and why?

I'd have to go with a charismatic leader, someone like Jerry, of "Ben and Jerry's" fame. Not many people know this, but Jerry is really the brains behind that whole operation. Ben is actually a slacker who only got a partnership in the company because his mom was friends with Jerry's mom, and she pulled the appropriate strings. While Jerry is spearheading the whole company, Ben spends most days sitting in his office watching Gilligan's Island DVD's. Jerry is the one who created Ben and Jerry's signature ice cream flavors such as "Chunky Monkey" and "Cherry Garcia". If it were up to Ben, we'd have flavors like "Crunchy Flatulence" and "Rash Berry". There's no substitute for great leadership.

If you were an ice cream cone, which flavour would you prefer?

I would be "Crunchy Flatulence".

Describe in one sentence your perfect day.

My cell phone rings, waking me up at 10 AM, and the person on the other end informs me that I've won 100 million dollars in the lottery. I'd have to play the rest of that day by ear.

If you were a fictional writer which one would you be and why?

A fictional writer, as in, a writer that didn't really exist? In that case, I sure as hell wouldn't be Paul Sheldon, the guy who gets his feet cut off in Stephen King's "Misery" (they changed that for the movie, and it was just as creepy). I wouldn't want to be Martin Stillwater, from Dean Koontz's "Mr. Murder" either, having to deal with an evil twin and all. I can't really think of any fictional writer whose life wasn't full of drama and stress. Now, if you're talking about a "writer of fiction" who DOES exist, I'd have to go with Dave Barry or maybe John Grisham.

And finally if you have answered all these questions I invite you to ask me one in return - it's the least I can do. OK fire away!

Eddie, that was great fun.
Okay, here's a question for you Eddie. If you had access to a time machine, what moment in history would you go back to in order to make one change? We're going to disregard Dr. Emmitt Brown's warning about the whole time-space continuum thing.

Now that's a great question, Chris, and I am glad you asked it. Time has it's fascinations for me but I do have a serious answer for you. Now I know how to travel backwards in time I must return to Monday 2nd January 1905. I know the exact venue, some of the background circumstances and I know I must arrive well before before 2pm. My mission is to find my great grandfather and persuade him not to take his own life by hanging in one of the lofts in the factory in which he was manager. I want to know the full facts. What was his state of mind? When an Ambulanceman I arrived at the scene some 102 years 3 months late and a time machine would enable me to be far more punctual. I know that when I arrive I will have my work cut out to persuade him to change his mind. I hope I am successful. Also I cannot help wondering! Were there any underhanded goings on? Was he bumped off? Who knows? I think I need you to come with me Chris with your knuckle dusters just in case we find some hocus pocus. Well, you did ask! The full story to this is posted HERE.

If you'd like to know more about Chris there are some FAQs on his blog which are interesting - press HERE

Thank you Chris for your highly entertaining roast.


Today's Sunday Roast with Knucklehead is the 109th in a weekly
series of interviews with bloggers from around the world. ___________________________________________________

This interview will feature in The Roll of Honour
for all published Roasts. To view press

Next week's roast - a lady who seems for ever to be Eternally Distracted


  1. Great Roast Eddie! Have gone and checked out Knucklehead's place. It does however make me wish I lived in a world where Ben made all the ice cream. Perhaps I could sit down in front of the telly with a huge tub of "Anchovy Surprise".

  2. Wonderful Eddie...good to meet a fellow blogger, especially one with a rich sense of humor!! Well done!

  3. Another great roast. Knucklehead sounds a real character. Eddie you have met your match.

    Nuts in May

  4. What. No ice cream question.

    Great fun and Mr Knucklehead looks like a nice guy. Enjoyed much, thank you.

  5. Great interview! I love Knucklehead and have been a fan since I first found him last fall!

  6. Wonderful roast, Eddie. I haven't read Knucklehead...but I am going to be going to his blog. Thank you for another great job, my friend.
    Take care of YOU, please.

  7. Great roast! I knew Knucklehead wouldn't let you down with his brand of humor. A wonderful blog and a wonderful fellow.

  8. Oh, boy...This is one blog that I've been wanting to explore for a while...having spotted him on Jim's sidebar!! And it appears he is every bit as funny as I suspected!! I'm grinning from ear to ear after reading this roast! Spectacular!

    And you, Sir Eddie, have injected your own brand of incomparable humor as well! How could anyone go wrong reading this?? This is just a guaranteed winner!!! Loved this! Hugs, Janine

  9. I love Knucklehead's updates on comic and fairy tale characters! Great choice for a roast.

  10. I love Knucklehead's stories and posts. He is very talented.

    What a fun roast and interview!

  11. Chris is an excellent writer. I love the "where are they now?" series.
    Goog interview, Knucklehead.

  12. Great interview from both of you. Lots of insights here for the taking.

    Anyway, I came very close to naming my blog "Crap Rash." Might change it to that, in fact.

    And I think it'd be great to play Candice's spouse in a movie, especially since she's Candice and I'm Jamie Lee Curtis. I think we'd have a lot of fun together, especially when the axe murderer interrupted our guilty love scene in the cabin and we had to go running in our bras and panties into the woods.

  13. Eddie, I'd like to say that this was another fine interview, but this Knucklehead character seems way too impressed with that bum "Suldog". Anybody who has read his stuff knows that he's insufferable. What Knucklehead sees in him, I'll never understand.

  14. Great interview, on both sides. Fun to get to know you both better.

  15. I just now read this. You can tell I keep up to date on things...but better late than never - as someone once said.

    I've been a follower of Chris' blog for quite some time now. Being a fellow blogger I felt compelled to let him know each and every time he wrote one how much better his was than mine. I mean, it's just not fair, ya know? I've since stopped doing it - it's just too pathetic...but one day!

    Loved the interview...altho, for the life of me, I have no idea why I'm Vince Vaughn, but hey, he seems nice enough...and very tall. At least I wasn't Will Ferrell. ;)


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