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Sunday 31 January 2010

Freddie Bluelights on Why Women can Multi-Task



"Freddie Bluelights!!!" did you say?


Yes! This is Freddie Bluelights! and listen folks, this guy is NO MUG!
and he never flies off the handle! A little later we shall see just how smart he really is when he explains why men can do one thing only, but properly, while women can do many things simultaneously, i.e Multi-task.

Freddie might be asleep in this picture so you can't see his bluelights but if you look carefully you can see he has a certain glaze and brilliance about him even while he is snoozing. If his eyes were open you might see a familiar 'twinkle' for he is non other than a distant ancestor of your own Eddie Bluelights, related on my father's side. I came across him recently when I was compiling my family tree and I tracked him down to a little town called Bedrock in the good old US of A. He must have definitely spoken with an American accent and for some reason some of his descendants moved to England and they brought with them loads of stone tablets with writing on them, of which I will explain later.


I am sorry I have no photograph of him but I can tell you he was liked so much a cartoonist drew a whole series of sketches and I guess the media got to know just how nice he really was and he caught on everywhere. They made a whole series of animated cartoons about him, his wife Wilma and his friend Barnie and the Dinosaurs. However they portrayed a sort of 'thicko' caricature which was not the case at all because in real life he was a highly intelligent ape man. He attended Bedrock University where he graduated with a double first in Human Behavioural Studies and Paleontology and quickly went on to obtain his PhD doctorate in his chosen specialist subject The Reasons Why Women Can Multi-Task And Men Can't. It was so well received in his day he was awarded an Honorary Fellowship at Bedrock University and soon after he wrote a best seller on the same subject. It took him years to chisel the stones in hieroglyphics and we have just discovered they now form the patio in our back yard and regrettably some have been buried under our conservatory. These are the stones to which I referred earlier. Mrs Bluelights was always asking Eddie what those strange markings were etched in the stones and asked me to turn all the flags over because they did not look nice and they were 'horrible, "Do it at once!", she said. "Yes, Madam!" So alas Freddie's original work is lost for ever.


However, I am pleased to say those ancient hieroglyphics were translated into English in 1485 and I have a copy of the book. So without undue delay I can relate some startling facts to you concerning Freddie's invaluable contribution to the world of medicine and science.


He was promoted to his research by some autographs he found in his family archives.
The first was signed by his great aunt and she was obviously taking a potshot at her husband with this spiteful little verse:

As a rule a man's a fool.When it's hot he wants it cool.When it's cool he wants it hot.He's always wanting what is not.

To Freddie this seemed to suggest the poor chap was capable of concentrating on one thing only, the weather. Yet he seemed to get his own back with this reply.

Man wants little here below.
He isn't hard to please.
But woman, bless her little heart.
Wants everything she sees.



This seemed to suggest the lady was capable of thinking of many things at once, and wanting to own them . . . . but could she actually do different things all at once, he wondered?

Freddie expounded that women were observed to be more capable or performing more than one act at once while men could cope only with one task. He researched the subject thoroughly and noticed during his ambulance days (yes he too was an ambulance man) a nurse managing four things perfectly, all at once. She was looking after a patient, had a telephone jammed under her chin whilst conversing perfectly, shaking a thermometer and taking a reading . . . all whilst chatting with her mates. This caused Freddie to smile at her as he awaited the patient she was attending so he could take him home. "Are you laughing at me?", she asked. "No, I would not dream of doing that. I was simply admiring your multi-tasking skills. I was thinking of bringing three oranges over and asking you to juggle those as well." He was such a character and his comment caused such amusement, I am told, he was rewarded with a piece of cake, such was his natural charm.

Freddie knew from personal experience how difficult multi-tasking always was when Wilma Bluelights 'hit' him with lots of different questions simultaneously, whilst offering him a sweet. It was as if she had asked him to calculate the value of Pi to the last decimal point. His brain simply went into 'information overload' whilst a) trying to remember the questions and b) formulating a suitable response in the correct sequence. As for consuming the sweet his brain was so busy processing information he put the sweet wrapping paper in his mouth and threw the sweet on the fire, much to his wif'e's amusement. She would say, "Never mind my dear have another sweet, but why are you ignoring my questions - I have had no response from you whatsoever - you never listen to me!" It is almost as though his brain was compartmentalised and there is a wall between each compartment - a solid wall.

Freddie wondered why he could just about muster a feeble reply, "Um and err! sorry I don't recall any of your questions, where's my sweet?"

Freddie wondered whether the answer to this entire phenomenon may be that although men's brains are larger than women's, perhaps the structure of their brain is a little different, so he consulted with some medical colleagues and then he found the solution which led to his first published theory, and he went on to write a paper on it, or should I say on stone. Although his findings were not in tablets of stone, well they were actually, but you know what I mean, he postulated that women have 30% more nerve connections between the left and right side of their brains than men, thus enabling information to jump from either side much quicker and in greater number than a man's brain could handle. This allowed her, without thinking, to do lots of things at once. Freddie remembers explaining to the medical profession that women tend to have more nerve endings in certain areas of the brain, like the cerebral “woe”tex, the “complain”ium, and the shopping centre. For multitasking, women tend to have a larger Corpus Colosseum, which indeed makes a better connection between the left and right halves of the brain. On behalf of all men everywhere, he congratulated all women on their mighty big ol' corpus colossus thing and complemented them on their superior Cerebral Hemispheres but would they kindly use their superior brains to stop their constant nagging at their menfolk.

In computer terminology it's a little like women having a dual, or maybe a quad, core microprocessor compared to a poor chap's single core microprocessor - he's on a hiding for nothing when 'ramming' lots of information into his memory all at once inside his noddle.

In the field of mathematics Freddie proved ladies can handle simultaneous equations far better than men, as they can with differential calculus and trigonometry. In more recent times Albert Einstein, a mere man, was judged by his wife a 'dismal flop' in terms of multi-tasking, managing to solve his Special Theory Of Relativity in 1906 after many years of study and we had to wait another 9 years until 1915 for his General Theory. "Pitiful", Mrs Einstein might have said, "Albert, you sit in front of that typewriter all day and all night, never doing any household jobs and still you have found no solution."

"Sorry dear, my I.Q. is only 130 and I am working very hard on this paper."

"Do you want baked beans on toast or scrambled egg for your tea?"

"Sorry, dear please don't deluge me with difficult questions right now - I'm just about to make a breakthrough with a formula which powers the whole universe - ah here it is E equals MC squared. Don't worry dear I'll take us out to lunch in 1916 when it's finished!"

"Oh! don't bother!", she said as she stalked out, slamming the door, causing him to remark, "What the 'ell's the matter with her? It's not my fault that electrical impulses whiz around her noddle much faster than mine!"

Recent observers have commented that in the world of classical music all the greats are men and no-one can think of even one single woman composer. Freddie wondered why that should be so and after considerable thought he hypothesised that men can do one thing at a time much better than women like composing a symphony or a writing a romantic piano concerto whilst not have to bother about mundane things like washing the baby, getting the tea, cleaning the house, shopping, ironing, painting nails, plucking eyelashes, ringing friends, having coffee mornings. He developed this thought further and deduced if men had to do all this he as well as composing they would be sunk and Beethoven for one would have composed only three symphonies during his whole life whilst Schubert's Unfinished Symphony would be Schubert's Never Started Symphony. Need I say more, except ladies, please let us men get on with our creative work without you giving us endless do-lists which serve no purpose in life other than preventing us from creating masterpieces all over the world? And while we are at it, let us blog whenever we want to blog, OK!

Freddie discovered there were several benefits, or spin offs, from his original research as the consequence of females possessing quicker brains enabled by all these additional nerve connections. The female of the species is much better at 'telling porkies' or dare I say, 'lies', than us mere men, although it is a rare occurrence for her to attempt this privilege. Further she is much more adept at seeing through a man's pitiful attempts to 'tell porkies' because she can deduce an untruth instantly no matter how well conceived - so fellows don't even try it - forget it . . . . . you will hung, drawn and quartered . . . I warn you!

Freddie wondered why all this should be so and it seems his distant ancestors developed that way to 'specialise' in certain aspects of the household/tribal assignments or chores. A man had a deep voice and when he shouted at the kids loudly they screamed their heads off causing their mums to come to their rescue with their much higher voices, yelling and screaming at their bewildered hubbies, telling them to get out and go hunting, but make sure you take plenty of their mates with them or they would make such a mess of it that they might themselves be hunted and eaten by the animals. "Oh go and chase a Tyrannosaurus Rex", she might say, "and make sure you bring it home for your tea or you don't get anything - and if you think your going to get anything else tonight you've had your chips!"

Attacked this way by a barrage of screaming 'Ab dabs' our ancient forefathers might have gathered their clubs and spears, collected their mates and stormed off hunting - and that's what they did all day long! So the men specialised in hunting and did not have to think of anything else apart from telling jokes and discussing with their pals manly things which is way beyond the remit of this post to divulge. By and large it worked well. The menfolk usually returned home triumphantly with a beaten up Triceratops or a huge Hippopotamus as their reward. They dumped their prize on the floor and said, "Here Missus, make the tea!" Notice the word please was not in their vocabulary until much later. So she picked it up happily and she skinned it, carved it up and did all the necessaries. Uggh!

But when we were out hunting you ladies were in the caves, balancing a baby on one hip whilst incubating another AND doing the washing, scrubbing the floors and washing the eating pots . . . all simultaneously whilst nudging each other and admiring every passing handsome ape man looking vaguely like George Clooney. When a baby balanced on her hip screamed she took it all in her stride - she knew exactly what to do.

Had we been in opposite roles you ladies could probably manage the hunting as well as or even better than us because you women can think of more than one thing at a time, like setting traps and covering escape routes at the same time and thinking of where to go for holidays this year . . . . . all whilst avoiding a charging deadly Sabre Toothed Tiger. If us menfolk had to contend with all the domestic duties plus dealing with the noise of screaming babies, the noise would drive us bonkers and would make us so mad and only being able to do one thing at a time we would half murder the poor little mites to shut them up.

Eventually the ape man might have grunted, "ug ano mw awisif ugg!", the literal translation being, "It's alright woman, I've given her a doll to play with!"

 
Her her mother would reply, "Im si sharuslyou in did risjdfgj!" which literally translates, "You idiot! That doll is so big the baby thinks she's going to be eaten - you might as well let her play with a live Tyrannosaurus Rex!"

"Oh I'm going hunting again!" he would say, as he stormed out of the cave, and actually that's why we went hunting in the first place to escape the constant nagging and baby yelling.

Recent research verifies Freddie Bluelight's work. Notably, researchers have confirmed large differences in the female brain and a distinct absence of activity in a certain region of the male brain which explains why women complain that husbands simply ignore their questions. In other words sometimes there is nothing between his ears! Analysis shows that under these circumstances very few, if any, men say they have heard the question or statement from their wife. Also, many wives complain about husbands not listening or being so engrossed in television or the computer that it is like talking to a telephone pole — there is absolutely no response from her spouse whatsoever.

Research has shown brain images taken while men and women are talking to each other. According to the researchers, lighted areas of the brain on the MRIs indicate brain activity. When you look at the MRIs, men have only four areas of brain activity, while women have approximately 16 lighted areas. This accounts for the common knowledge that most women are better at multi-tasking than men. Women have the greater capacity to attend to more than one task at a time. They can grade papers, keep up with a television program, talk to a child about homework and cook a meal all at the same time. For a man, it would feel totally overwhelming doing these many tasks at once. One lady stated, "As a child, I remember my mother used to say you have to hit him (my dad) in the head with a two-by-four to get his attention. I now understand what she meant!"

Latest research states that men traditionally were programmed to be hunters. They would go out to track down and kill an animal so the family could eat. To accomplish this task, a man had to be able to focus on one task. If he failed at this task, his family might starve. Everything else had to be put on the back burner of his mind. Meanwhile, the female partner was back home, tending to multiple children, gathering sides to go with the deer meat, talking to the other women in the village, preparing dry food to last through the winter, plus a dozen other tasks.
So, it is true, sometimes men just don't get it. They are like a TV that has only one channel and, if you are not on that channel, you are on the back burner. It may have little to do with whether he loves you or not. It has more to do with the way his brain functions.

The inferior-parietal lobe is larger in men than in women. This area of the brain is thought to control characteristics that make a person more prone to mechanical and analytical thought. The corpus callosum, the space between the right and left hemispheres of the brain is larger in women than in men and contains more neural pathways. This is thought to make women superior in processing language, information, emotion and cognition. It's well know that women are superior in understanding the subtleties of relationships, emotional overtones, and artistic expressions. The hypothalamus, where hormonal control functions are based, the male brain differs greatly from women.


So there you have it folks! Sorry about the bad news chaps!


Next time see how Freddie explores why men can run faster than women.
Is it so he can catch one of these?

Or is it so he can escape from one of these?

or maybe to escape from one of these
to get some peace and quiet?


Do not miss. Tune in next week!

For those looking for Eva's Roast press HERE

Saturday 30 January 2010

The Sunday Roast

Eva Is Wrestling Gallantly With Her Retirement

This week's interview is with Eva Gallant
who writes the blog
Wrestling With Retirement .


Thank you Eva

A warm welcome to you and your followers



Here's the first of the standard questions. Why do you blog?

When I retired, I decided to spend some time writing. It's something I've always enjoyed. I had written a weekly column in a small town newspaper years ago, and worked as a part-time reporter for a couple of other newspapers at various times in my career. Writing is something I love doing, but just hadn't spent much time on in the past. Now that I'm retired, I decided to go at it with a little more gusto. I have written a few short stories, two of which could end up as chapters in a romance novel. My blog is just another venue in which to practice.

What's the story behind your blog name?

I was nervous about retiring; I wasn't sure how I would deal with being out of the workforce. I've worked part-time or full-time for most of my life. I was worried about the money side of retirement: Would I be able to survive financially? I was also nervous about my marriage: Could my husband and I spend that much time with each other without coming to blows? It all loomed like one big wrestling match ahead of me--hence, the blog name. It's a contest I'm determined to win!

What is the best thing about being a blogger?

I would say it's the friends you encounter; though I've never been physically in the same room with my fellow bloggers, I've grown fond of so many! Sometimes they make me laugh, sometimes I moved to tears, and sometimes I end up re-examining my feelings about an issue. It's a wonderful give-and-take experience. I love reading what others have to say, often adding my two cents worth, and I relish the comments I get from those who read what I write.

What key advice would you give to a newbie blogger?

Read other peoples' blogs. You learn and get ideas from them. Comment...everyone loves to get feedback, and if you comment, you are more likely to get feedback from others. Write what you know and like, not what your think others want to read. The best posts come from the heart.

What is the most significant blog post you've ever read?

There have been several, but one that comes to mind is Life Altering Slice Of Life, by Heather at Positively Neurotic Me. I was really moved by it. She hasn't written much lately, but she has written several moving posts, and many funny ones. I hope she picks up blogging again, soon.

What is the most significant blog post you've ever written?

I guess that depends on what you mean by significant. I tend towards humor and don't get serious very often, but there was The Ugly Truth when I got quite serious. Now if you mean significant in terms of displaying my humorous take on things, then The Chamber of Horrors and Time for A Nooner would be my choices.

If you were to suggest two blogs for roasting who would you pick, and why?

One choice would be Knucklehead. He just has such a wonderful sense of humor and writes really well. He has written posts on What ever happened to Schroeder? and What ever happened to Cookie Monster? that are just hysterical. I know I can count on a belly laugh when I read Knucklehead. Also, The Top Secret Diet is a fairly new blog, but she writes so honestly about her attempt to lose weight that I can't help loving her.

That concludes the formal aspect of the interview but it would be nice to get to know you a little better while you are slowly turning on the roasting spit. So while you are screaming in agony above the open fire here are a few more questions for you.

Pick three things you can't live without (no you cannot have ice cubes to cool you down)

Wow....that's tough! My family, Chocolate, and my laptop.

Eva has traded in the usual movie question for these two penalty questions:

If you could live your life again who would you be, and why?

If I could live my life over again, I think I would still be me, but try to do it better this time. I would study harder in college. I'd spend more time enjoying my children; less time feeling guilty about divorcing their father, pay more attention to diet and exercise at a younger age, and make better financial decisions. And I would start writing much sooner than I did!

You have been given a wonderful talent from above. This causes you to make your mark on humanity and be world famous. In which area would prefer: a best selling novelist, a brilliant artist, a gifted musician, a fantastic singer, a charismatic leader, anything you choose, and why?

I wouldn't want to be anyone else, because that would mean giving up my family--my parents, siblings, my children, my grandchildren, my current husband, and my friends. No other life of fame or riches would be worth changing those!

If you were an ice cream cone, which flavour would you prefer and who would you most want to lick you?

Chocolate and the starting 5 of the Boston Celtics--Is that too naughty? (I'm a major Celtics fan!)
Describe in one sentence your perfect day.


Good friends, good food, plenty of pina coladas!

If you were a fictional writer which one would you be and why?

Janet Evanovich! I love her writing! I've read all 14 books in her Stephanie Plum series, and most everything else she has written.

And finally if you have answered all these silly questions I invite you to ask me one in return - it's the least I can do. OK fire away! I wonder what it will be?

If you were to live your life over again, what would you change, if anything?

Eva, I must say I would try a lot harder at school to make a bigger success at higher education. I was a little lazy at school and I know I could have done much better in life. But in the grand scheme of things would I be better for it? Who knows? I would have to live my life twice to make comparisons! It may have been worse and I may not have been as nice LOL - and that's my excuse! If I suddenly announced I wanted to a brain surgeon at 65 . . . . well!



Thank you Eva

_______________________________________________

Today's Sunday Roast with Eva is the 101st in a weekly
series of interviews with bloggers from around the world. _______________________________________________

This interview will feature in The Roll of Honour
for all published Roasts. To view press
HERE
________________________________________________

Next week, The Girl From Cherry Blossom Street.

And if you missed last week with David McMahon you missed a treat. Press HERE to see it.
________________________________________________

And finally, occasionally bloggers notify me of recently discovered blogs which impress them, yet currently have none or few comments for their efforts. So I shall introduce an additional feature to each roast called Must Watch This Blogger Corner.

The first is Kate at What a great place to be a cow .

Please visit her and if you discover others please let me know.
These will be your choices only - I do not consider myself qualified to judge blogs.

Saturday 23 January 2010

Sunday Roast Special 100th Edition

King David Returns To His Throne

Photo taken at Whitehorse airport in the Yukon.
Photo copyright Margaret Goodwin / Yukon Tourism

I have a fabulous treat for us today - it's not just a roast but a tribute to our own great blogger, friend, photographer, journalist, established writer and published author.

David has very kindly agreed to feature for this special . . .

100th edition of his The Sunday Roast

I hope many tune in to see how the column's creator answers his own questions (and mine) and incorporates a wealth of experience and advice for us all.

This week's interview is with David McMahon
who until recently wrote the blog, Authorblog -
now sadly on hold.

David features also on Red Bubble with his photographic essays
while pursuing his busy journalistic commitments.

Thank you David - very much appreciated

A very warm welcome to you and your many followers

(I've upgraded the 'mic' especially for you, David)

As a back drop to your roast, David, I thought I'd re-capture the shock we all experienced when we read your final post. The entire blogging community reeled when we saw you place your blog on hold. Accolades, tributes and good wishes, all 290 (and still climbing), poured into your comments box. On 25 September 2009 I remember reading this with sheer disbelief:

Goodbye To Blogging - That's All Folks

Yes, blogging has been a great adventure. Yes, it was a thrill to get almost nine thousand page views in a single day. Yes, it was a great honour to be chosen as one of Google's Blogs Of Note. Most of all, it was wonderful to be part of a vibrant, talented community.

But I’m going to be concentrating on my novels for a while.
I'll still have a strong online presence and if you would like to keep an eye on my photographic essays, you can get twice-daily updates at my
Red Bubble site.

Goodbye, good luck and God bless you all.


And so for the present David has chosen to live in the shadows outside BlogLand. He will explain his decision in a little more detail later in this roast. But it is wonderful to him here today.

Self-portrait. Photograph copyright: DAVID McMAHON


So here's the first of the standard questions you know so well. Why do you blog?

Thanks for inviting me aboard, Sir Edward. I began blogging for simple reasons. One, because I have always lived to write. Two, because I enjoy interacting with people. And three, because BlogLand is a wonderful forum not just to express oneself, but even more importantly, to admire the work of other writers from around the world.

My kids (The Authorbloglets!) once asked me if I have a favourite blogger – and my reply was simple: just as I love my children equally, I admire the different skills that bloggers bring the world of creativity. If I have visited your blog more than a couple of times, I’ve done so because I admire your work. Simple as that.

But to get back to your question ….. I’d looked around at blogs for a while, not knowing exactly how to dip my toe in the water. It was several weeks before I eventually signed on and took the first step. But in the first eight or nine months I think I only posted about a handful of items.

Then one day the penny dropped and I realized I should actually post every day. From that point onwards, I did. I think what helped me, too, was my background in newspaper and magazine layout, so my blog always emphasized the visual element, not just the written word.

What's the story behind your blog name?

Funny – I was sitting there in my study where I’ve written all three of my novels, thinking about this big step whereby I was about to start a blog. And one of the steps I had to complete was a name for the blog. On a whim, I just typed in the word “Authorblog”, thinking if I came up with something better I’d change it.

It was such a mundane name, really – but I stuck with it.

What is the best thing about being a blogger?

Without doubt, the interaction. You can get this in two ways – by visiting other blogs and commenting; or, later, when people start noticing your blog and dropping in to leave comments on your work, to follow their link and comment on their's in turn. I was very lucky in my early days as a blogger, because Biz Stone (one of the co-founders of Twitter) wrote some very kind words about the quality of my work and all of a sudden I was on people’s radar.

While interaction with other bloggers is vital, it almost proved a major hurdle in my case. As an established writer and a published author, I was quite happy to step in and give advice when asked, but there was a certain group of “senior” bloggers who didn’t understand my motives at first.

No one knows this story, but when I began giving advice to bloggers who (I hasten to point out) were *asking* for guidance, there were immediately some raised eyebrows among the members of blogging royalty.

I still have an email, written in kind but firm prose, from someone who acknowledged I was a “good dude’’ but that I was ruffling “lots’’ of feathers by giving new bloggers advice, when I was a brand-new blogger myself. What really irked them, I was told, was the fact that I had told new bloggers they could contact me at any time if they had any further queries.

I replied with forethought and courtesy, as you would expect.

But I kept giving advice, and I kept answering any queries that bloggers asked me. I don’t think there is a single blogger, anywhere in the world, who can say he or she never got a reply from me. In fact, I’ve even had the privilege of speaking on the phone to some bloggers overseas.

Can you tell us, David, why you decided to put your blog on hold?

Like I said, the blogger-to-blogger interaction was wonderful. It was great for me because when I started blogging I worked on an afternoon newspaper, working from 5am-2 pm. I used to be home early and so, before I picked the kids up from school, I had time to visit blogs and reply to each comment that people left on my posts.

Then in May 2008, when I took on a 9-5 role in the same company, I had virtually no time to reply to the many comments I was getting ..... and the personal interaction was starting to slip away.

As the very interaction that I find so vital in blogging began to dwindle, I realised that I simply expected others to visit me, even though I did not have the time to visit them. This in turn led to my decision on 25 September last year to put a hold on my blog.

But my close blog friends all have my email address, so I am still here for everyone.

What key advice would you give to a newbie blogger?

Trust your instincts. Write without fetters. Write instinctively. BlogLand is a wonderful international forum for writers, because you have a global audience.

Post regularly. Write from your heart. Treat other bloggers with the respect that you seek in return. And if you can, always use a photograph, a graphic or an image of some description to illustrate your posts. Newspapers and websites have images to break the monotony of continuous typeface – and that works equally for blogs.

In the beginning, I was lucky. I didn’t even know how to construct a live link until Terry Fletcher, the Portugal-based webmaster and blogger, generously showed me how it was done. Terry would always chip in with advice and guidance while I was finding my way as a new blogger. In fact, not many bloggers would know that Terry – without even being asked – designed the banner that still exists on my blog.

What is the most significant blog post you've ever read?

There were many significant posts I read, especially in the time that I kept track of a simple innovation called “Post of the Day”. This was a purely subjective list of blog posts that caught my attention every day, but instead of just one winner, sometimes there were joint winners and every day there was a list of other posts that caught my eye.

The multi-gifted Canadian blogger, Hilary of The Smitten Image, has kindly taken it upon herself to continue this sequence with her Post Of The Week.

So in answer to your question, there were several blog posts that caught my eye – and there is a permanent record of them in cyberspace. But since you’ve twisted my arm to name just one, I’d have to say it was A Modern Fairy Tale by a gentle soul called Maggie May.

David, this post describes Maggie's son-in-law's illness and was followed a week later by The Resting Place , sadly covering his death. Since then Maggie's daughter, Debbie Drews has opened her blog, Bittersweet Truths and she writes some very moving posts on the subject.

What is the most significant blog post you've ever written?

Could I perhaps say that I’m torn between two posts, please, Sir Edward? I reckon one of the closest to my heart would have been an ABC Wednesday post called D Is For Dementia , about my mother, who was my earliest Muse, my Google and my guiding star in my formative years.

The other post was written live, about a significant encounter that had just taken place. It was called G Is For Grizzly and it was written the same day a grizzly charged while I stood several metres in front of a group of hikers in Kluane National Park in the Yukon. The really significant thing about that day was that in many ways it proved in my own mind that I was coming of age as a photographer. Fortunately the bear broke it's charge and I am here to tell the tale.

Many bloggers think of me as a photographer, but in truth I only really got into photography when my wife, the wise and beautiful Mrs Authorblog, bought me a digital SLR camera, the Pentax K100D that has travelled round the world with me ever since. At that point in time I was a writer who just happened to take photographs as well.

That day in the Yukon, we were at the end of our hike and I had put the lens caps on both my cameras (the other was a Pentax K200D) and switched them off. Then our guide told me there was a grizzly in front of us, and I moved to the front of the group to get a better view, but the grizzly had gone to ground. A few moments later, this magnificent beast appeared in full view – and I suddenly realized I’d probably never get the chance to photograph a grizzly face to face ever again. I ripped the lens cap off my K200D, unfurled the lens, lined up the bear and hit the shutter as he began his charge. There was no time for fear. That came much later, a delayed reaction that made me shiver when I sat down to write the story that evening.

More importantly, it proved to me that my photography had become instinct-driven. Cecily, the US-based blogger who co-hosts Photo Story Friday asked me after this if I was a writer who takes photographs, or a photographer who writes novels. My reply to her was simple: I said that her question itself was the greatest compliment anyone had ever paid my photography.

If you were to suggest two blogs for roasting who would you pick, and why?

I think San Merideth at A Life With A View is one who should be roasted - I was never able to get her to do a Roast! And the second blogger I’d love to see roasted is Merisi, whose work I have always admired at her blog Merisi's Vienna For Beginners.

I will add two more because I think these are very good roast prospects. Jennifer Harvey at Thursday Drive and her cousin Louise who hosts Skywatch Friday.

Thank you David for your recommendations and I shall approach them shortly.

That concludes the formal aspect of the interview but it would be nice to get to know you a little better while you are slowly turning on the roasting spit. So while you are screaming in agony above the open fire here are a few more questions for you.

The open fire is a bit of a worry, because I live in Australia and it’s scorching hot at this time of the year. Er, could we put the fire out and turn on the air-conditioner, please?

OK, and we'd better issue all your followers with buckets of water - can't be too careful with possible bush fires - I've read some of your accounts of these.

Pick three things you can't live without.

My family. My principles. My camera.

If we were to make a movie about BlogLand, what would it be and who would you cast in the leading roles?

I’d call it “Moolah Rouge” and I’d have Suldog playing any role he chooses, because he’s so full of unpredictable creativity; Deborah Gamble playing a Wild West gambler, because she is a winner; Shrinky playing the musician, because she rocks; Mushy as the favourite uncle; Fat Hairy Bastard as the sheriff, because no one would take him on; Braja, Janine, Daryl, Corey, Hilary, Sazfab and Moannie as the Muses; and I would find a role for every single blogger whose site I visited more than once. I made many friends in BlogLand, and I would like to meet them all in the same place, at the same time, to tell them how deeply I admire their work. So, can we find a way to make this happen?

Well in a way David you have met them all today but as for the story, come on Sully, you're the ideas man! Thinking Hats on everyone - maybe we can all write it!

If you were an ice cream cone, which flavour would you prefer?

Chocolate. No question about that.

Describe in one sentence your perfect day.

Harmonious and creative.

It is not every day we have a successful writer and published novelist, journalist, blogger of note and photographer on the show, so shall I provide readers with a short resume of your literary and professional accomplishments?

David is a Walkley Award-nominated journalist based in Melbourne.

David is an internationally published photographer and travels the world with his cameras. I suspect he would not avoid another chance to photograph another charging grizzly, or worse, even after his 'grizzly' experience.

David is a well known published author and has written three novels. His first, Vegemite Vidaloo , was a best seller from July to December 2006, published by Penguin Books in April of that year. I have added a link to a post he wrote about this HERE.

David's second novel is due for publication soon, again by Penguin. It is a war time love story. (You old romantic, you, David). The title is Muskoka Maharani.

David, you are a giant in the blogging community, with followers peaking at almost 1000 on Authorblog and recognised by Google as a Blog of Note. There are those who marvel still at how you managed to post so prolifically and consistently, running your regular features, Post Of The Day, The Sunday Roast, Verse and Worse, Humorous Posts, Serious and Photographic posts WHILST finding time to visit us and comment . . . . plus a little thing like earning a living. To a man and woman we find this feat truly amazing. You know, perhaps of all the posts I miss the most it has to be your Verse and Worse - I just loved that to bits, adding my own efforts in your comments box, as seeing all the laughs you got.

And finally, now you get to ask me a question in return - it's the least I can do. OK fire away!

Do you grow a beard each December, to return to your secret identity as Santa Claus?

I have to, David - anything to aid my escape from Mrs Bluelights! If I stayed at home she'd find me loads of extra jobs to do, so I figured it is much easier to grow a beard, get into my Santa outfit, hitch up Rudolph with his mates to the sleigh and then deliver all those presents to the kiddies. Besides that it's well worth getting stuck up chimneys from time to time for all those mince pies and glasses of Sherry, wouldn't you agree? You know, it is really difficult delivering all this stuff in such a short time. I wrote a post recently explaining just how difficult it really is, see HERE. Oh and by the way I always take my camera with me, whether or not I have a beard. I never know who or what I might meet! You have trained me well maestro!!


Thank you David for appearing in this special edition - I am highly honoured to host it and to carry on with your great column, The Sunday Roast.

I am sure everyone in BlogLand wishes you success in all your ventures. Please visit us from time to time whenever possible because there is nothing any of us like better than seeing this familiar 'piccie' along with a comment from you.

And finally, David, I am sure I speak for us all in thanking you for all the help and advice you have given so freely and generously. God bless you, David.


Screen Save of David's Authorblog website showing his last post in September.
To date over 290 comments are placed by his then almost 1000 followers
of which approximately 900 have remained loyal.


David now features on Red Bubble with his photographic essays.


Today's Sunday Roast with David McMahon is the 100th in a weekly
series of interviews with bloggers from around the world.
_______________________________________________________

This interview will feature in The Roll of Honour
for all published Roasts. To view press
HERE __________________________________________________

Next week's roast is Eva Gallant

Tuesday 19 January 2010

Master Bluelights and big sister Maggie

I have not much time for writing lately but I came across this delightful photograph of Maggie and I when we were innocent little children, long before the big bad world corrupted me - Maggie is perfect, and always will be of course. LOL

So these little children grew up to be Maggie May of Nuts and May and non other than the infamous Eddie Bluelights, and just in case anyone does not know, we are indeed brother and sister.

We look very happy here, don't we? We were very happy! We were living in the North of England and this was a huge garden where I used to drive my little blue pedal car, round and round and Maggie on her little red tricycle. Yet on this occasion you can see us sitting it out. My dad was taking the photo so we are not able to see him but I do have an earlier shot of our dear mother, Hazel with Maggie and our pet spaniel, Rex.

See the sparkle and love in mother's eyes - she was so happy, wonderful, so loving and so strong. She really looked invincible . . . immortal through our eyes. I wish she could have stayed like this for ever. Perhaps my wish, and now my earnest prayer, may have been granted, for one day we might see her again in her prime - just like this, but this time for ever in Heaven, never to die again. Dear mother passed away about this time in 2001. We still miss her badly, as we do our father.

Want to see Eddie as a baby?
Oh go on then!
Little rascal, aren't I Marguerite? LOL

One day I will write a post about my mother - it was very sad at the end but she had a look of Faith and Hope in her eyes as she lay in her hospital bed just before she died.

Saturday 16 January 2010

The Sunday Roast

"Smile Please!" Jen Zooms In To Show Us Her Magical World Of Photography. And Folks, She's A Writer Too

I have a little change for us this week:
I have a brilliant photographer and writer combined.

This week's interview is with Jen Goettin
who writes her daily blog
Exquisite Juncture

plus . . . her daily photographic blog Jennifer Photography .

In addition to this she has a stunning
Personal Profile on both blogs

(You look deep in creative thought, Jen
I can almost see the gear wheels moving! LOL)

Thank you Jen for appearing on the show

A very warm welcome to you and your followers


Here's the first of the standard questions. Why do you blog?

I started blogging about a year ago. A family member had one, and it was so much fun to read hers, that I decided to try my hand at it. I really enjoy writing, and I like getting feedback on what I write. For a while I did stop writing and closed my writing blog, concentrating entirely on my Jennifer Photography blog with my daily posts. Again, I enjoy the feedback. I also really like the online communities I have found through blogging. It is really cool to connect with people all over the world. Now I blog for me, and I am currently reading and learning about my hobby, which is photography. So, my blog has become sort of an image journal as I learn. Recently I have opened my writing blog, Exquisite Juncture and I have started regular posts, including one on the recent scary Texas blizzards when I got stuck in a car - called It looked like the beginning of the end and I was really scared.

What's the story behind your blog name?

My blog name is kind of blah. When I switched over to just posting photos for a while, I needed a new name, and so my name with the word photography seemed the most logical. I like my URL though - and I got "skidato" when I was creating the blog. It was the word I had to type in to verify I was a human and not some bot trying to spam blogger. I have a private blog titled "Loving Life" because, well, we love life. It's more of a family blog, even though our family is just me, my husband, and our two (spoiled) dogs. My "Exquisite Juncture" blog used to be "My Moments" and it was stories of the silly things that have happened, either from my actions or just randomly. Eventually the lines between my private blog (Loving Life) and my blog (My Moments) got too blurred and I combined the two. Writing is a sort of outlet for me, and I missed that connection with other other bloggers. So, I undeleted "My Moments" and re-named it. I have some ideas for the direction I want that blog to go in, currently, the last few posts about the blizzard in Texas would have been on our family blog, but I just had to share that experience with the world. I hope to make "Exquisite Juncture" a blend of my poetry, fiction writing, a few stories of me and mine, photos, and musings on life today. Plus, I liked the URL - my name and I have been told I have moxie, which was one of the top ten ultimate compliments I have ever received. Now, how could I delete that URL? :)

What is the best thing about being a blogger?

Aside from meeting really cool people, I think the best thing is the fact that my voice is out there, and can be heard by anyone who wants to listen.

What key advice would you give to a newbie blogger?

First - remember, everything you put out there stays out there. Even deleted posts can still be found, and sometimes entire blogs. Blogger and Reader are connected, and I have been able to see deleted posts/blogs by typing the URL into my reader. I wish Google would fix this.
Second - use spell check. Blogs that are full of spelling errors are not fun to read, no matter how awesome the content, and "a lot" is ALWAYS two words.
Third (and last) - if you are interested in something, chances are at least one other person is too. Find blogs that post information about things which interest you, join communities/blog clubs. It's fun!

What is the most significant blog post you've ever read?

Probably anything by Barry at An Explorer's View Of Life .

What is the most significant blog post you've ever written?

This post was transferred to my private blog, but recently I opened another blog, Exquisite Juncture and I have re-posted it there. It was a link to a petition to stop the aerial hunting of wolves.

I have a number of favourite photographic shots from my photographic blog, Jennifer Photography:
Patiently Waiting
Interesting/Amusing Signs
All Time Favorite
Do you remember? (Toy from my childhood)

If you were to suggest two blogs for roasting who would you pick, and why?

Oh boy... hmmm, how about Barry, at An Explorer's View Of Life and, Rebecca, at The Dusty Cellar Ok, and Mark, at The Butler And The Bagman Chronicles .

Barry, who during the fight for his life has remained humorous and positive - he is my hero, and I have never met him. And Rebecca, who claims to be a novice photographer, but her work is AMAZING. She truly has a gift. Mark is hilarious, and always has something fun going on.


That concludes the formal aspect of the interview but it would be nice to get to know you a little better while you are slowly turning on the roasting spit. So while you are screaming in agony above the open fire here are a few more questions for you.

Pick three things you can't live without (no you cannot have ice cubes to cool you down)

Burt's Bees Medicated Chapstick, an elastic band for my hair, and my favorite brown sweatshirt that is lined with faux fur, and has a broken zipper pull, but I still wear it. :)

If we were to make a movie about blogland, what would it be and who would you cast in the leading roles?

It would be set in the future, and a woman would be discovering who her long lost sister was through the blog archives. There'd be lots of flashbacks, and clues to fill in the gaps between posts. So, as she reads, she has these vintage items around her - items from her sister, and she has to piece together the mystery of what happened to her sister. Her sister went missing shortly after her birth, and she needs to figure out what happened, because she has a son with a rare blood condition and her sister's blood may save her son's life. There is a guy who helps her, he has a lot of knowledge and insight - but he can only help for so long... Ok, um...the stars? The woman would have to be Jessica at Learning Along The Way. Her long lost sister would be Heather at Simply Heather's Blog. The son would be Keith at Holding Moments. The helpful guy would be Scriptor at Ramblings from my Chair.

If you were an ice cream cone, which flavour would you prefer and who would you most want to lick you?

Chocolate is my flavor choice...as for the licker, my husband, thank you!

I would not expect any other answer to that given! You have perfect taste, Jen!

Describe in one sentence your perfect day.

My perfect day would be driving around town, stopping to photograph anything I deem interesting, and if I were really brave, I'd actually explore my favorite abandoned haunts.

If you were a fictional writer which one would you be and why?

Tolkien. He is an original master.

And finally if you have answered all the questions I invite you to ask me one in return - it's the least I can do. OK fire away! I wonder what it will be?

Eddie, Thank you for having me. For my "roast Eddie" question, I would like to ask . . . .

What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

I have received a lot of advice during my life - some good and some bad.
The best blogging advice I ever received was from David McMahon of Authorblog when he said, "Wherever you go ALWAYS take a camera!" Prior to that I missed three fantastic shots and I can see them in my mind's eye, with these captions:-

A car on fire, blazing away at night! - fortunately no-one was hurt but it would have been a great shot with the caption, "Emergency, which service please?"

A hot air balloon just missing our church roof , right after the service.
My caption for that one would have been, "Sorry vicar, we are a bit late dropping in!"

A glider flying low over the 400ft Cheddar Gorge on a clear sunny day - it would have made a fantastic shot! Caption: I'm looking for my thermals!

I will never ever get an opportunity to shoot any of these again. So I always take my camera everywhere these days.

Thank you once agin Jen for this interview _________________________________________________

Today's Sunday Roast with Jennifer is the 99th in a weekly
series of interviews with bloggers from around the world. ______________________________________________

This interview will feature in The Roll of Honour
for all published Roasts. To view press HERE _______________________________________________

NEXT WEEK - DAVID McMAHON
features in
THE SUNDAY ROAST SPECIAL
for the 100th edition

Friday 15 January 2010

MY HIP SITUATION - SAW THE SURGEON TODAY

Hi folks

Sorry, pressed the PUBLICATION button instead of SAVE and so Jen's Roast appears on your side bars too much early.

Please return at 10 am GMT when the roast will be officially posted.

Sorry about this.

Whilst I am 'on air' so to speak there is an opportunity to give an update on my hip situation. I had my pre-surgery appointment for a full replacement hip procedure at the hospital. I spent 5 hours there. I was very impressed with the patient care and professional way they explained everything. People sometimes knock the National Health Service when actually it is wonderful - most countries would welcome having a service like that.

Saw the surgeon who agrees my operation should be sooner rather than later. Still no date though. He says I will have a ceramic ball and socket joint for extra life. Presumable he thinks I will not 'pop my clogs' for a while. There is a 98% success rate but this operation is still classed as serious.

"What could go wrong?" I asked.
"You could die!"
("Jeepers!" I said)
"Well, any anaesthetic has it's dangers but you are a very fit man."
"Infection"
"Deep Vein Thrombosis"
"One leg could be slightly longer than the other, but unlikely."
"Hip dislocation during the first 6 weeks but this is rare."

He was a bundle of laughs and he is doing the operation. Actually he has a very good record.

Had another X-Ray.

Spent a long time in the Pre-Operation Assessment Clinic.

A nice nurse took my blood pressure, gave me an ECG and took my pulse. She was rather nice so perhaps the reading might have been slightly exaggerated LOL. Made her laugh a lot, along with her colleagues, particularly when she asked me for a urine sample and gave me a tiny little bottle. A told her I was until recently an ambulance man and we exchanged some nice stories. At the end she thanked me for the entertainment. LOL

Then saw another Canadian nurse who actually sounded rather Irish. She explained all about the operation.

Then I saw a doctor who examined my heart and lungs and I flew though it as very fit.

I may not have a full general anesthetic - they might not knock me out completely which sounds a bit 'hairy'. I will discuss options with the anesthetist when I am admitted.

Then saw a physiotherapist who told me about the dangers of hip dislocation during the first 6 weeks. Because the leg muscles are cut so they can uncouple my leg and work on it, there is not as much holding the joint together so I will not be able to do certain activities for 6-8 weeks. They say I shall be fully recovered in 3 months and will be able to run even, but not far. That's fine for me - I did run 6 miles a day when I was much younger and I was super fit with a pulse rate at rest of just 47. Some heart pump eh! It is about 70 now, which is not too bad for an old codger.

So I shall post Jen's Roast tomorrow.

Bye for now, Eddie

Tuesday 12 January 2010

A BLUR BECOMES A SNOWFLAKE

"Eddie, what are those smudges on the window, love?"

"Oh! hang on a minute I'll have to refocus - ah you mean these, Mrs Bluelights?"

"Zoom in Eddie, quick and let's have a closer look!"

"Ok! Get a load of this!"

It's remarkable how that refocusing made this shot possible.

Let's zoom in again!

Isn't nature (for want of a better word) wonderful?
Again!

While I was out looking for The Abominable Snowman, terrorising Bristol recently, see HERE, I got some shots of the garden with a carpet of snow - quite rare for us in the UK, so I made the most of it, aided by my walking stick of course to prevent me from slipping 'base over apex'.


Ah yes - there is the swing I made a long time ago for the kids with all the paths and walls and pergolas I built, plus of course the bird houses - see my earlier post HERE , He Flew The Nest Too Soon.

No signs of the Bluetits yet, but I saw a couple of Great Tits, their larger cousins, looking at properties the other day - they rather fancied this semi detached residence - they thought it was really cool! brrrr!

"Careful with that hip up climbing the steps you built, Eddie."


"Never seen the Dogwood looking quite like this."

"The Magnolia tree looks a bit cold."

"So does the Hydrangea."

"Come on, let's go in the house and I'll make you a cup of coffee, but close the gate - after all we've got to keep that Big Foot out, haven't we?"
____________



Thank You Hilary for your  POTW mention on January 13th 2010.  Very much appreciated and please see and comment on the winners at The Smitten Image.

I've very busy with domestic tasks and year end accountsof late, so unfortunately I have not been as active as I would have liked in BlogLand - my apologies.


But please do not forget to visit for David McMahon's Sunday Roast Special on January 23rd.

Saturday 9 January 2010

The Sunday Roast

I Wonder, Is This Lady Singing, Que Sarah Sarah?


This week's interview is with Sarah Curtis who writes
the blog
Que Sarah Sarah.

Thank you for the interview, Sarah

and a warm welcome to you and your followers



Here's the first of the standard questions. Why do you blog?

Blogging is like therapy. Much of what I write never sees the light of day. What I do publish is me "putting myself out there" and eagerly (or fearfully) waiting for feedback. I can't tell you how amazing it is to see the reactions that readers have to my writing. Whether it's some creepy murder fiction I've just written called Second Try or even just a recipe to try, I love it.

What's the story behind your blog name?

Well besides the song Que Sera, Sera which sounds very much like my name and the fact that I love Doris Day and that my mom used to sing that song to me quite a bit...wait, is that enough? What will be, will be. Sounds like a good motto to me.

What is the best thing about being a blogger?

I'll admit that I'm a bit of a wimp. The idea that folks from all over the world can (and do!) read what little old me writes (and while I'm safely out of reach behind my computer) is quite the ego boost. And also that my regulars have become friends, though long distance ones. It's lovely to hop around to different blogs and see what happening in their world.

What key advice would you give to a newbie blogger?

Well I still feel like a newbie blogger, having been doing this for just over two years. The best advice I can give (and hopefully live up to) is to write often. Even if you don't publish, just getting those thoughts and ideas out can open up all sorts of ideas. You never know what's lurking in that brain of yours, perhaps a piece of fiction like this one called Take One .
Oh, and if you're anything like me, keep a notebook and pencil next to your bed. So many times I've been struck with inspiration at 2am and gone to bed delirious with anticipation of a writing fury the next morning only to wake up having forgotten everything. Drat!

What is the most significant blog post you've ever read?

I can't mention just one post, how about one blogger? Woman in a Window. Just about everything Erin writes just amazes me. She has such a way with words.
Ooh, and Cricket and Porcupine. Love it.
And Janine at Sniffles and Smiles has such a great outlook on life. I really can't pick just one...

What is the most significant blog post you've ever written?

The thing I've written that's the most significant to me is Goodbye which I wrote for my Grandmother. She is a big reason that I am who I am and I just love her dearly. Though she's been gone more than ten years, she's still there in my head and in my heart.
Love you, Grandma.

Thank you Sarah - see in Blog Land soon
_________________________________________________

Today's Sunday Roast with Sarah Curtis is the 98th in a weekly
series of interviews with bloggers from around the world. _________________________________________________

This interview will feature in The Roll of Honour
for all published Roasts. To view press
HERE __________________________________________________

Next week I have a talented photographer for you who
also likes to write. Her name is Jen of Jennifer Photography

Wednesday 6 January 2010

News Scoop! - Bigfoot Found In UK Snow Storm

I have a HUGE news scoop for everyone - spread the word quickly - and of course I exclusive world wide rights.

(Bigfoot - Artist's Impression)

The newspapers will soon be full of it, with typical headlines and features like this:

Evidence At Last - Bigfoot Exists
!

Britain is at a standstill. Depleted stocks of grit and rock salt make it impossible to keep road arteries open. Trains are have ground to a halt. Aircraft are grounded. All schools are closed. Factories and Offices have told employees to stay at home. The roads are empty except for broken down vehicles strewn all over the place. People dare not venture out of their houses for fear of slipping on pavements, thus falling base over apex. Shops are running out of supplies. Domestic fridges and freezers are running low. Where will it end and how much longer will this global cooling affect this small and once mighty empire upon which the sun never set?

Last night Gordon Brown called an urgent cabinet meeting to discuss this latest crisis and utter chaos and reluctantly he has formally announced the UK is officially paralyzed and asleep, deep in hibernation.

Yet amongst this chaos strange footprints have appeared in the snow causing huge excitement amongst some highly imaginative scientists. Some are convinced these extreme weather conditions have brought a rare animal out into the open and revealed strong evidence at long last which proves the existence of Abominable Snowmen. For so long this being has been the figment of man's imagination. Other names for this mythical being are Yeti or Bigfoot, as Americans prefer to call them. To date no-one has ever seen one alive but today one keen photographer is convinced he has captured evidence of a series of footprints on film. He swears these footprints, as seen on the first photo, are genuine evidence a large creature, alive and well. Experts agree these Bigfoot foot prints must have been made this morning and therefore it's existence is authentic.
Experts unanimously deduce the being could be wearing size 12 Ambulance Boots and the creature must be enormously strong and heavy to impress the ground like that. For a while they were highly confused by the round hole appearing regularly beside the foot prints. They scratched their heads all morning before brilliantly deducing that the creature might have an ailing hip and the little round hole in the snow is clearly evidence of a walking stick, proving these beings are highly intelligent and not ogres at all.

Further evidence revealed that these creatures love to play in the snow and make very large snowballs. Someone phoned the news desk to report eight of them laughing and yelling their heads off whilst pushing a heavy and growing snowball down a hill and round a field until the snowball ended up a whopping 6 feet tall. He said they worked well together, talked to each other and obviously were enormously strong, beating their breasts whilst making loud Tarzan noises, thus causing all the local cats and dogs to run for their lives. A passing photographer took this shot and for the first time he captured on film a Yeti playing 'peep-ho' and then quickly ducking behind the snowball amongst his hiding friends, proving they are very friendly yet extremely shy.Notice the bottom of his head - shame he moved so quickly before a more detailed photo could be taken. They disliked any further attempts by our photographer and made rude gestures at him with threatening growls of "Get lost!" when he attempted do do so.


Our roving reporter followed the footprints with the walking stick snow prints for half a mile to this house near Bristol where authorities are convinced at least one or maybe a family of Abominable Snowmen live. They postulate that the last time these beings ventured out into the open was 20 years ago when it last snowed and then they were reputed to have built a large snowman.

Notice the footprints leading up to the door but beware he could be very dangerous and might hit you with his walking stick.

Officials were delighted to see this being is very canny and able to drive a car and there are vague reports that recently one was able to drive an ambulance.


What a scoop this is - we expect world wide cover for this story as the news breaks.


Its OK folks - I have only been drinking coffee! LOL

_________________________________________________


Extract from The Washington Post, next morning


Exceptionally high drama of phantom Yetii (plural you will note) of yesterday where adult Abominable Snowmen are alleged to have played snowballs with local inhabitants in a small town near Bristol, UK, has caused absolute chaos at daybreak this morning. The area is inundated with police, FBI, MI5, frantic newspaper journalists and TV crews, all jostling for key positions and hoping to gain more information of this huge news story, currently gripping the whole world.


Several questions on everyone's mind are surely, "Is it true - does Bigfoot really exist? Does he look like a polar bear?

(Notice the wink)

. . . . or is he humanoid?


. . . . . and if so has he big feet and does he wear large size 12 Ambulance Boots?

No-one appears to be able to get a satisfactory answer for it seems as though the 'being' inside his house has gone to ground and is asleep, or maybe refuses to answer the door.

Suddenly, there was a huge commotion as two androids appeared and walked round the house as bold as brass. Cameras clicked and flashed by the score. They had all got their front page photos for here was son on Bigfoot and one of his friends, two of the eight responsible for the snowball fiasco of the previous day.

What a HOAX