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Monday, 17 May 2010

The Midweek Nosh-Up

Who's A Pretty Boy? Who's A Clever Boy? Who's A Lonely Boy?


By popular request, this week's interview is with Eddie's pet, Mickey the Budgie
who writes the blogs,
Birds Of A Feather Flock Together
and

Don't Count Your Chicks Before They Hatch


Thank you for the interview, Mickey

A very warm welcome to you and your followers

"Not too warm, Eddie please, and I don't want to end up on any one's dining plate either with my feet stuck in the air . . . and can I tell your readers all about my lady friends? Oh go on, please Eddie!!"
The Midweek Nosh-Up


Here's the first of the standard questions. Why do you blog?

My owner, Eddie Bluelights, won't let me have guests visiting me because it interferes with my elocution lessons and studies. He thinks I am a genius! Well I am! so there! - my IQ is 2 and for a budgie that puts me in Mensa. I am certainly not in the gibbering idiot class and I am a cut above every budgie I know for my flair in all literary matters. Because I am so brainy and I am not allowed to socialise I have never had to opportunity to meet a nice little hen bird of my own age. Alas I have been very unlucky in matters of romance and have never been on a date with anyone, let alone had my first kiss. Isn't that sad? That cruel Eddie did give me a mirror for a consolation prize. I stand there in front of it for hours, bobbing up and down ninety to the dozen like there was no tomorrow, whilst chattering profusely and wondering whether this is all a huge waste of time. My suspicions are well founded because my reflection never seems remotely interested in what I say or what I do because it never seems willing to embark on any kind of budgie conversation, leading to even imaginary and meaningful relationships. So regularly I 'belt the living daylights out of my plastic toy budgie so I can release my anger and frustration.

So to answer the question. "Why do I blog?" I am very lonely little budgie and I asked Eddie if I could have a laptop computer connected to broadband so I could set up a blog and communicate with the outside world. I am very slow at typing and have to jump on the keys and when I have to type capital letters I find it extremely difficult pressing the shift key with one foot or a beak whilst depressing the letter key with my other foot. I have done the splits on numerous occasions whilst embarking on these highly dangerous and painful acrobatics. I cannot imagine the contortions I might have to endure if I set up twitter as well.

To date I have made a few friends with quite a number of little budgies - all seem to be named after their owners for some reason. Some are cock birds, a chap called Suldog comes to mind and Knucklehead and Jules and others, and I have a growing number of hen friends. I have quite a following already including an old crow, a hamster, a few field mice, a clapped out rooster and some lame ducks.

I flirt with some of my favourite budgie hens whom I like very much and I think they like me a lot but unfortunately they always keep me at wings length. In my mind I can hear them say, "Oh you are awful, but we like you". But that's as far as it goes.

Shall I tell you about a few of them? They are all very nice and kind and have a good sense of humour. There is a nice little chick called Marguerite who has lovely big green eyes and likes dancing a lot and eating shrimps. Trouble is she does not like eating millet and I am not too keen on shrimps or crayfish so unfortunately we cannot dine together and make meaningful and polite conversation. She is a high flyer and is so fit she leaves me for dead. She says she would like to Cajun Waltz with me but alas I do not think she would ever agree to have the last dance with me - sob sob. Well she might if I stood on her foot - that would definitely be our last dance. I do wonder how she manages to get those red cowgirl boots on with her webbed budgie feet. She's 'clipped my wings' a few times, calling me a naughty Canille boy or a rascal but I think she likes the Mr Hyde in me just a little, but perhaps she wants me to be that boring Dr Jekyll. Another little chick called Jackie is a school teacher, and I think she regards me as her Teacher's Pet. She is another American and a Georgian Girl and wears a lovely blue top and is crazy about the English Language spoken in England. She asks me incessantly what English phrases or words mean and I have to ask Eddie loads of complicated questions to feed her insatiable appetite in this regard. And of course there is Janine, who is a brilliant writer, journalist, painter, poet, theologian, mathematician, and anything else she puts her mind to - the mind boggles at her achievements and talent and sheer mental acrobatics. She reminds Eddie and I, in her writing style, of the famous Alistair Cooke, who wrote his weekly, "Letter From America". Trouble is, although we can converse together on a very high intellectual plateau, she keeps changing her mind on everything, confuses me - so I never do know where I stand with her, or indeed with any of these lady chicks. However, the one who likes me most I believe is a young bird called Cherry and I know she is wild about me but again we are much too far away from one another. I expect she is having a little chuckle as she reads all this.

Now all these ladies have little families of their own so I regard them as good friends.

So my main reason for blogging is loneliness and making new friends. I am sorry I rabbit, or should I say, 'budgie on' so much (like Eddie does) but you jolly well asked the question so I am jolly well going to answer it. Next question!
What's the story behind your blog name?

Oh what an exceeding boring question! Typical of Eddie - should I liven it up a bit?
Now listen Eddie your little budgie has two blogs (have a look if you don't believe me!):

Birds Of A Feather Flock Together Well they do. I was setting up my blog on blogger and I was asked for a blog name. This is the first one that came to mind. There is a pub called Birds Of A Feather near where we live and I like a little drink now and then so we Flocked Together in the pub and hence the title came to mind. Yes Eddie sometimes does let me come out with him. I sit on his head and if I am in a good mood leave it occasionally for biological reasons - if he annoys me I let him have it!

Don't Count Your Chicks Before They Hatch This is my second blog and I currently have one follower, which is a bit disappointing. I was expecting loads of eager readers queuing to read my stuff but only one came. The blog lives up to it's title and is a bit of a flop.

Well my answers are almost as boring as your question, Eddie, it's more exciting watching paint dry answering these questions. I'd much rather read George W. Bush gaffs like, "I'm honoured to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein" or when he first saw the White House his immortal observation is written in the annals of history, "It is white!"

What is the best thing about being a blogger?

I can write what I like and when I like, say what I like, make friends, make enemies if I chose - but I am a nice little bird and say very nice things, especially to the ladies.

What key advice would you give to a newbie blogger?

If you are a young, attractive, unattached, kind, considerate, loving and rich female budgerigar then I would advise you to email me straight away and we can meet up and dine together at my favourite restaurant. If you are not - then kindly shove off!

However Eddie is insisting I answer the question as it is intended, so I would advise newbie bloggers write from the heart and from personal experience, or if you haven't had any, then invent stories, like Eddie does.

What is the most significant blog post you've ever read?
I just loved reading Grumpy Old Ken's story of a pet hamster called Rambo. The story is real and brilliant and called Rambo by Name, Rambo by Nature. Please pop over and read it when you have finished reading my roast/midweek nosh-up.

I know Auntie Robynn at Robynn's Ravings had a pet budgie called Kiwi and she will one day write a story about him. I emailed her today and she gave me some details of Kiwi which made me very excited.

My budgie's name was Kiwi. He was neon yellow/green with a big, dark green Canadian maple leaf on his breast. He had a gimpy leg (curled talons he could not straighten out), and was caught in the park behind our house. He gave up his freedom for a bowl of bread crumbs (how alike we were)! I snatched him up with my hand and he bit me all the way home. After a week of silence, he launched into THE most terrific songs and could imitate any bird in the wild. I MISS KIWI!!!! Looking forward to the story!
Oh! yes! yes! yes! Kiwi will be my best buddy and I'll fly over to the States to meet him and we could then paint the town red together. I am not sure how I am going to get there yet because it is much too far for me to fly. I might hitch a ride on the back of some migrating geese. I'm sure they will agree if I recite some silly poems to them en route.

What is the most significant blog post you've ever written?

Eddie will tell you he wrote these two stories. I say, "Tosh!"

Eddie was stuck for words so I dictated everything to him. Both stories were about me, of course. The first was Mickey The Celibate Budgie and it is Eddie's confession about keeping me away from chicks so I could concentrate on my academic life. The story includes how I learned to fly, and how I managed to recite long epic poems and how Eddie annoyed me by entering the room with his silly false eyes and nose, scaring the life out of me. I was so annoyed I dive bombed him like a German Stuka plane.



The second, Mickey The Lovesick Budgie, recounts how Eddie was sorry for depriving me of a natural and full life and our attempts to rectify my sad situation - and how I was on the receiving end of a lot of embarrassing comments from a load of teasing budgie hens. I am still fuming about it!

Finally, there is an account in Eddie's five-part play entitled, 767 Weddings, 2 Irate Vicars and Almost A Funeral right at the end, part 5, when I travel backwards in time with Eddie to 1891 and meet a charming little budgie hen called Elizabeth. I decide to remain with her while Eddie returns to the present time.

If you were to suggest two blogs for roasting who would you pick, and why?

I would roast Grumpy Old Ken again for his Rambo the hamster story, Rambo by Name, Rambo by Nature, as mentioned.

Marguerite of Cajun Delights because Eddie is always going on about her and thinks it's about time she was roasted.

That concludes the formal aspect of the interview but it would be nice to get to know you a little better while you are slowly turning on the roasting spit. So while you are screaming in agony above the open fire here are a few more questions for you.
Pick three things you can't live without (no you cannot have ice cubes to cool you down)

Cuttlefish, Millet, Female Company.

If we were to make a movie about blogland, what would it be and who would you cast in the leading roles?

I would be the star in Alfred Hitchcock's film, The Birds.
I would get a load of sea gulls to dive bomb Eddie. I would enjoy watching him run like hell with his new bionic hip to see if he could outrun Steve Austen.

If you could live your life again who would you be, and why?

I would love to be born in Australia in the wild and speak freely in budgie language and not have to say ever again, Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie. It is totally ridiculous of Eddie to teach me this stupid poem when I could have been concentrating on learning a sonnet so I could woo a young chick and melt her heart. She would have been very impressed with a sonnet but if I go up to a chick and say, "Who's a pretty Boy!" she is going to think either "I'm God's gift to budgies" or "A self opinionated Old Fart!" or "I am extremely weird".

You have been given a wonderful talent from above. This causes you to make your mark on humanity and be world famous. In which area would prefer: a best selling novelist, a brilliant artist, a gifted musician, a fantastic singer, a charismatic leader, anything you choose, and why?
In Mickey The Celibate Budgie I explain how I could have played any instrument being highly musical - so I am already a gifted musician. I often blow my own trumpet!

If you were an ice cream cone, which flavour would you prefer and who would you most want to lick you?
Millet flavoured ice cream of course! Golly, Eddie asks some dumb questions doesn't he? As for the latter part of my answer, now look I am at the grateful age!

Describe in one sentence your perfect day.
It would be wonderful if I could return to 1891 and meet my little hen budgie Elizabeth again. That would be my perfect day. And there are two sentences not one but she was special.

If you were a fictional writer which one would you be and why?
Well I am not a fictional writer so Eddie why are you asking such a dumb question as this?
However if you must have an answer I do like H Rider Haggard stories but they are a bit dated now. Why? Because I like him - silly!

What was your most embarrassing moment?

Coming onto this show for starters! Why can't you leave people alone, Eddie? You ask people if they want to be roasted, plague the life out of them, bully them, make them do it. You use your wit and charm if you can and if that doesn't work you get all nasty and start sending snotty emails all over blogland. Isn't he a nasty cruel man, folks? You are a naughty, naughty boy, Eddie!

And finally if you have answered all these questions I invite you to ask me one in return - it's the least I can do. OK fire away!
Here is my question to you.

When I fell off my perch after just failing to learn the last verse by just one word of Georgie Porgie Pudding And Pie you and Maggie May had a little funeral in the back garden. Why did you bury me only 6 inches down? The cat dug me up!

(Sorry Mickey)


Thank you Mickey for the interview. Gosh you are a powerful lad aren't you - you roasted me!
_______________________________________

Hope you enjoyed this little digression from the normal Sunday Roast. I cannot add it to The Sunday Roast column but I am introducing a new midweek sequel called The Midweek Nosh-Up where I invite back previous roastees to answer some or all of the new questions I have introduced. I am gathering material at present so it will be a while before I launch it.

19 comments:

  1. Oh Mickey you are so truthful. And it is a real pleasure meeting you and I'll check out both your blogs. I could be your number two follower.

    I hope you are not being interviewed under duress by your owner. He's funny but remember the time he tried to bury you alive!

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  2. Eddie, when I was a little girl, I had a parakeet. He was blue, and his name: Pretty Boy.
    This was a cute blog...and I think that people will flock here to read it. Very well asked and answered questions. Again, you make me smile.
    Give a warm hug to Maria from me...to Selina (congratulations!)...and receive a hug for yourself. Thank you for mentioning the Teacher's Pet...and yes, I'm always interested in the British words...and have learned a lot of them from you and apparently from Mickey, too.
    Thank you to both of you.
    Loved this, Eddie!!
    Smiles and hugs from Jackie

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  3. Oh, Eddie!!! This was FABULOUS!! So hilarious!!! And Mickey you are a bird of brilliance! And I thank you both for your very, very kind words here about me...Oh, dear me...I'm not sure who I should most thank for this...I keep changing my mind...Eddie? or Mickey? hmmm....No matter...I predict that these Midweek nosh-ups will be extraordinarily popular!!! How could they be anything but! Sir Eddie and his wonderful sidekick have started it off with a bang! Great fun! Hugs, Janine

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  4. Oh Eddie, I laughed my TAIL feathers off through this! It just completely tickled my fancy and I LOVED IT!!!! I hope I'm not carrying on too much but this was perfect and I'll be back to reread it. What a card you are and Kiwi, who lives on forever in my heart, sends his love. :)

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!! You witty thing!

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  5. No offense to prior prime cut interview-ees, but this has got to be the best roast ever!

    Mickey, you are quite the clever fellow, and yes, you ARE a pretty boy. Sorry if that phrase doesn't work on the ladies, but perhaps you are better off with your own reflection - many's the time I would have preferred turning my spouse's face to the wall, where he would disappear until I was ready to see him again.

    Mickey, there is nothing in the MENSA guidelines that states one must be of the human species to be included in its ranks. You will, however, be require to show proof of your IQ; have you, perchance, taken the Otis-Lennon tests, or the Otis-Gamma test? What about the Miller Analogies Test? Even a copy of your Army or Navy test scores will suffice.

    (In the event that you are disqualified, take heart - I know several humans with IQs of 2.)

    If you do get the starring role in The Birds, could you please use your influence and allow me to suggest a few cast extras for the attack scenes? Not that I'd want any of my friends or family actually HARMED, but a few good pecks might do some of them a world of good.

    And one last comment - actually a suggestion - many birds have the ability to use tools. I know that budgies are extremely intelligent birds, and you, of course, are exceptional. Perhaps you could persuade Eddie to outfit you with a prosthetic extra limb, something long and removable, that you could use for typing only. Or maybe you could craft a specialized cane for such purposes. Just a suggestion, but I do hate to see you risk your health by continually doing the splits.

    Thank you for a most delightful roast!

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  6. I've always been a fan of Budgie, and are glad to see them finally getting their due.

    Oh. This is about an actual budgie, not the 1970's heavy metal group from Wales? In that case, I'm highly disappointed.

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  7. Mr. Budgie was totally delightful! Such a well spoken feathered friend. I am quite impressed with his command of the English language.
    Well done sir...well done!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  8. Ahhhhhh, little Mickey. Glad we still have some photos of you! Takes me back.......... sigh.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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  9. A bird who is computer savvy? It's an interesting world.

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  10. You are a RIOT! lol And what a fabulous imagination you have! Oh, trust me, we could carry on a meaningful and polite conversation, while dining, regardless of the fare. lol And you are right about one thing, if you stood on my foot, it would definitely be the last dance! You are sooo canaille, cher, but I like you! lol Great roast!

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  11. I was gonna say great roast, too, but I didn't think Mickey would appreciate that ;) If my pet rock, Seymour, were female ("am NOT!") and available, I'd see about hookin' them up. Alas, Seymour found a wind chime to pal around with.

    But hang in there, Mickey: with your blog, you're a shoo-in!

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  12. HA! "....I would get a load of sea gulls to dive bomb Eddie...."

    This was fabulous Eddie and a great start to your mid-week feature. I'm looking forward to more.

    Have a great week,
    jj

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  13. For such a little bird, he covers a lot of ground, wouldn't you say? H. Rider Haggard, even! Wow!

    Cheers to Mickey!

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  14. I can't seem to find your email address, so I'll just leave my comments here (oh the audacity). I just found your blog and it's hilariously interesting! I only started blogging this year (although it says otherwise). I think you'll find these posts especially interesting:
    1. F1 Drivers' Dilemma (since you had a hip operation and Shakira of Hips Don't Lie fame was mentioned) April 9th 2010
    2. My Husband and Me - Our Colourful Differences - March 1st 2010
    3. The Day After Mother's Day - May 10th 2010

    Please tell me what you think and please don't use a whole lot of computer jargon cos I'm still new to Blogland. Thanks, heaps.

    malaysian blogger
    http://tree-shades.blogspot.com

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  15. Ah the invincible bird!
    You've been buried 6 ft under and now you are being roasted! No wonder you're such a rebel ;-)
    Brilliant roast!
    (But hey Mickey, you don't ever listen to me! I thought we talked about this prior to your interview. Tell Mr Bluelights to roast Sniffles and Smiles! Oy!)

    This is the best roast ever!
    Thank you, Eddie!

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  16. This is Mickey
    Well where are you all?

    You are all very naughty naughty girls and boys!!!

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  17. Mickey Here!!

    I've boprrowed Eddie's Blog to enable me to give you ALL a ticking off!

    WHERE ARE YOU ALL?
    You are very very naughty naughty girls and boys!

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  18. Oh my goodness...Mickey you are as hilarious as Ed. You just feed off each other, don't you? You're both charming and both love the ladies. My side hurts from laughing! lol....

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    Replies
    1. Glad you liked it Betsy - he really is a cute hoot! lol

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