The Sunday Re-Roast SULDOG

Time To Interview The Old Odd Ball, Soft Ball Again

  

Welcome to my Sunday Re-Roast - another chance to meet bloggers already roasted and provide them an  opportunity to review their original answers and to reply to some new questions I ask these days.  From time to time I shall I mix these Re-Roasts with new Standard Roasts to provide a bit of variety.

This weeks interview is with Jim "Suldog" Sullivan

who writes the blog, Suldog 

A very warm welcome to you Jim and all your followers

Gosh! . . . . it's scorching on that spit! . . . and here he is folks wishing he was a Blog Of Note.
What . . . he is a Blog Of Note. Hey! Congratulations Jim.

HEY FOLKS . . . Jim's a Blog Of Note
all together . . . .  "Congratulations!"

What's that you are holding this time, Sully?  Oh! . . . . so it's a magic wand now, is it?  Give it a wave and we'll see how you answered your original roast. Oh! You're looking a little concerned! Worried it might turn into something nasty and pink? No Ladies! don't look!! Oh, crumbs!! Tell a lady not to do something and she'll do it!! Remember Lot's wife . . . and Eve and the apple? On second thoughts it's a family show so perhaps you'd better just use your imagination or memory.  Now compose yourselves!! . . . . and let's get back to the interview.

Jim's original roast was by David McMahon on 24 May 2009.  Jim will wave his magic wand and replicate it for us or if you wish to see the original and read the comments press HERE but then please return for the new stuff.

Here's the first of the standard questions. Why do you blog?

Insatiable ego. I’ve always had a very high opinion of myself, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, so I figured everybody in the world would love reading whatever I typed.

Amazingly enough, while making statements such as the above, I’ve received very little in the way of flames. The folks who comment over at my place are almost uniformly kind and complimentary. That’s very nice of them, but, if they had any brains at all, they would have figured out that I’d have dried up and blown away upon receiving even one or two nasties. They could have done the populace at large a huge favor by manning up and throwing out a few insults.

If they had done so, I would have gone to bother someone else with my next hare-brained scheme; perhaps starting my own church or acting in pornos. As it stands now, my ego has been blown up to such mammoth proportions, there’s little likelihood I’ll stop writing. That’s too bad for the world, but I’m OK with it.

What’s the story behind your blog name?

I wish there was one."Suldog" is just a nickname I picked up years ago. My last name is Sullivan. Well, almost everybody at this one place where I worked ended up being called something-dog - Charlie-dog, Dave-dog, Fitz-dog, whatever. I’m not sure how it started, but it did, and since I was already nicknamed Sully, I became Suldog. For whatever reason, it seemed to fit me
more than most, and it’s followed me around ever since. Exciting, eh?

What is the best thing about being a blogger?

Seriously? The people you meet (not that you truly "meet" too many of them, but you know what I mean.)

I’ve developed many fine virtual friendships, and had the pleasure of physically getting together with a couple of the nicer folks. There are so many interesting life stories out there in the blogging universe!

(Really, I think that everybody has an interesting life story, but some just know how to put their story into words in more entertaining ways.)

The anonymity of blogging helps some folks, of course, but I’m one of those bloggers who doesn’t give a damn if everybody knows my real name or where I live. When I write, I assume that at least one person in my audience will have done the same stupid thing I’m willing to reveal that day. From the comments I’ve received, that appears to be the case. And it also appears that those people are exceedingly glad to find out that they’re not the only ones, so I guess I’m performing a public service of sorts when I admit to past indiscretions.

Anyway, my life is an open book. I figure that if someone really wants to dig up some dirt on me, they can. Therefore, I’m happy to save them the trouble. I figure if I write about it first, nobody can ever accuse me of hypocrisy. If you criticize me about any of it, though, I’ll jump on you with both feet. Everybody has things they’ve done that fall short of perfection and I’ll carve you a new one if you seriously think you can get away with being holier-than-thou in my presence.

I don’t know if that answered the question or was just a long-winded self-serving rant, but it’ll have to do.

What key advice would you give to a newbie blogger?

Post naked photos of yourself, if you’re a woman! If you’re the shy type, and aren’t sure about this advice, feel free to send the photos to me first for an unbiased editorial critique.

Aside from that? Be yourself, whatever that may be. If you have odd quirks, bring ‘em out into the open. If you have a style with which an English professor might find fault, don’t let it keep you awake at night. It’s your blog, not the professor’s. So long as you make yourself clearly understood, it’s all good.

(Despite the above advice, though, I’d suggest that you learn to spell. Style is one thing, ignorance another. You’ll lose many readers if you don’t know how to spell the second word in this sentence.)

Above all, have fun. There are very few folks getting rich from this. I’m certainly not one of them, so if you send me ten dollars – and, perhaps, those naked photos - I’ll be glad to give you more advice.

What is the most significant blog post you’ve ever read?

It was by Magazine Man. I’ve got his link on my sidebar listed under the heading "The Best Writer On The Internet", and I’ve never been given reason to back down from that statement. He’s brilliant. There are some truly good writers out there – you among them, of course – but I have yet to read anything by him that wasn’t utterly captivating.

Anyway, his parents died in a highway accident a bit over a year ago. They were on their way to visit he and his family at the time. He had written about them both, at length, previous to the accident, showing them to be interesting and lovable people, with faults in their pasts, to be sure, but that just made them more endearing in the present. I (and his other readers) felt a relationship to these good people, via his marvelous writing, so when he posted concerning their tragic deaths, it just sucked the breath right out of me. My stomach churned almost as much as it had upon hearing of the death of some of my own loved ones. That’s how good his writing is.

(To clarify: That single post, about them dying, wasn’t his greatest piece, but as a hideous denouement to all that had preceded it, it was as powerful an emotional response as has ever been dragged out of me by a blog.)

What is the most significant blog post you’ve ever written?

A Day (Five Of Them, Actually – All Saturdays) In The Life, which is basically my life story, condensed. I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written, so if your readers go to my place, read it, and aren’t impressed? They may as well leave, since it isn’t likely they’ll find anything better if they stay.

Thanks for the opportunity to display my arrogant, ignorant, bloviating self, David. If you enjoyed reading this half as much as I did writing it, then you’re 50 per cent as happy as I was.

Well - that's what you wrote two years ago, Jim and interestingly enough you said you would answer these questions in exactly the same way today.

So - let's see what you make of the new questions.

Is there anything since your roast you are dying to tell the blogging community?

Yes, but I won't say it here. Yours is a family blog and I wouldn't want you to run afoul of the censors.

All seriousness aside, I'd like to say that I've enjoyed every moment of my interaction with my fellow bloggers. I'd like to say it, but I can't. It's been a miserable 5+ years I've been doing this, and I have come to the conclusion that I'm a self-loathing masochist.

Is anybody still reading? Oh, good. I'm glad you decided to stick around. Actually, I have some wonderful, intelligent, kind, and wholly fantastic readers. I only said the rotten stuff above to weed out the posers. Since you're still here, you're one of the good ones, and I thank you quite sincerely for making my time as a blogger a pure joy. You folks are the best!

Which two blogs would you recommend for roasting?

Well, I hate to limit it to only two, but I also don't want to copy my entire sidebar here and weigh you down, Eddie. Let me see...  My first choice of course would have been Knucklehead - He's an extremely funny man, and also quite erudite. He and I root for rival baseball teams - He, New York Yankees; I, Boston Red Sox - but, other than that, he's sane. But I see you've already roasted him.

So who else have I been reading for a long time, but hasn't already been roasted?

OK, how about these good people...

Shimp at Land Of Shimp - She writes some very funny pieces, and has one thing in common with me: she goes on and on and on. In her case she actually says something."

Buck, at Exile In Portales - A master sergeant, retired from the U.S. Air Force. Despite the reputation sergeants sometimes have for being tough birds, he's a genuinely nice guy. Of course, maybe he was a real bastard before he retired, but he's sweet as pie now.

And, for a third, how about Thimbelle, at Creeping Towards Normal? Fine writer, interesting and love-filled stories, and her family sends me fruitcake every Christmas, so the least I can do is pimp her out.

(Great, thanks for these recommendations, Jim)

Pick three things you can't live without.

The ability to express myself musically.

My main instrument is the bass guitar, but I'm somewhat proficient at drums, keyboards, six-string guitar, various percussion instruments and simple woodwinds. I can't begin to imagine how frustrated I would be if some accident befell me and I found myself unable to play any instrument at all. I let my emotions flow freely while playing. It's one of my primary emotional outlets. Sometimes, for instance, it's much easier to bang on the bass than to vent anger elsewhere.

Comedy.

I love to laugh. If you ask MY WIFE, she'll probably tell you that I'm the easiest man to make laugh in any audience of which I'm a part. Slapstick, especially, gives me joy. Anything that upsets the dignity of a stuffed shirt or a blowhard will have me rolling in the aisle gasping for breath. I adore sight gags - and the more elaborate and impossible-seeming, the better. Show me someone stepping into what appears to be a mud puddle, but then disappearing completely, only to reappear a few seconds later soaked through, muddy, spluttering and puffing his cheeks, and I'm useless for five minutes while I laugh. Anyway, make me laugh and you're my friend.

Yummy Food

I enjoy eating, a lot. I enjoy eating a lot of things. And a good meal involves not only the sense of taste, but also smell, touch, sight, and even hearing on occasion. I won't list my favorite foods, as that would take up pages and bore everyone to tears, but let's say that if I somehowng a lot of things. And a good meal involves not only the sense of taste, but also smell, touch, sight, and even hearing on occasion. I won't list my favorite foods, as that would take up pages and bore everyone to tears, but let's say that if I somehow found myself unable to enjoy food, life would become a very bleak enterprise for me.

(On the face of it, Jim, you appear to be quite normal and sane!)

If we were to make a movie about BlogLand, what would it be and who would you cast in the leading roles?

I think I would call it The Three Stooges Meet The Marx Brothers Meet Laurel and Hardy Meet Abbott and Costello Meet The Ritz Brothers Meet Wheeler and Woolsey and Clark and McCullough and Cheech and Chong, Who Carry On. The plot would be fairly much non-existent, but the laughs would be never-ending. Here's the cast listing:

Moe - Mushy
Larry - Craig
Curly - Knucklehead
Shemp - Shimp
Joe - Quirkyloon
Curly Joe - Jazz
Groucho - Cricket (or, perhaps for this role, Porcupine)
Harpo - Shrinky
Chico - Aglio, Olio, and Peperoncino
Zeppo - I'll take this one, as I appreciate him but nobody else might.
Laurel - Twinks
Hardy - Jelly (Twink's friend, and they really ARE something of a comedy team!)
Abbott - Buck
Costello - Matt Conlon
Harry Ritz - Lime
Jimmy Ritz - Michelle
Al Ritz - Hilary
Wheeler - Thimbelle
Woolsey - Magazine Man
Clark - Saz
McCullough - Moannie
Cheech - Mariann Simms
Chong - Brinkbeest
Sid James - Eddie Bluelights

I realize all of these are traditionally male roles, but I'm willing to see how the females do with them.

If anyone else wants to be in the flick, I suppose I could write parts for Burns Allen, Rowan and Martin, Fry and Laurie, The Two Ronnies, Lum and Abner, Bob and Ray, the casts of "Are You Being Served?" and "The Goon Show", and perhaps Nixon and Agnew, who may have been the most underrated comedy team of my generation.

(Jim, the mind boggles!!  . . . . such a mammoth production would surely require Cecil B De Thrill to direct, at least!   And thanks for the honour of being Sid James.  He's a comic genius!  Laughing at your casting for Chico Marx, and some others ROFL.  Hey! I didn't think you guys across the pond understood the Goon Show.)

If you could live your life again who would you be, and why?

MY WIFE. That way, I could fall in love with me and nobody would complain about me being too narcissistic (which they're no doubt doing now after reading this answer.)

(Typical Suldog cunning and logic LOL)

You have been given a wonderful talent from above. This causes you to make your mark on humanity and be world famous. In which area would prefer: a best selling novelist, a brilliant artist, a gifted musician, a fantastic singer, a charismatic leader, anything you choose, and why?

Well, since I'm already most of them, I'll choose the one thing I'm not: a best-selling novelist. But I'm not sure I actually want to be that, as it probably would be too much work. Let's just leave me being me since nobody else seems to want the job.

(Can't say I blame 'em - LOL)

If you were an ice cream cone, which flavour would you prefer and who would you most want to lick you?

I would be peppermint stick ice cream (with jimmies, of course, or perhaps you call them sprinkles) and insofar as who I'd like to lick me, I'd be satisfied with just about any, just so long as they don't bite my cone.

(Ah! you are at the grateful age as well, Jim)

Describe in one sentence your perfect day

I would be peppermint stick ice cream (with jimmies, of course, or perhaps you call them sprinkles) and everybody who wasn't tempted to bite my cone would lick me.

(Again . . . the mind boggles!)

If you were a fiction writer which one would you be and why?

What makes you think that anything I write isn't fiction?

(Thought most of it was fact, actually LOL)

What was your most embarrassing moment?

Being featured on your blog, thus far.

(Yup! I know what yer mean! but you are not the first to say it! My pet budgie did on his roast! - now carry on like this my friend and someone will give you an award and then you'll have to get your wand out again and be extremely rude to them!! LOL)

If you awoke to find you had changed gender what would be the first and second things you would do?

The first thing I'd do was play around and find out what everything felt like. The second thing I'd do - assuming that things felt nice - would be to find out just how much money I could make with my new equipment. If it turned out that things did NOT feel nice, I don't know what in hell I'd do for the second thing. Cry, perhaps.

(Think positive, man!! You have no other choice!)

Your turn to ask me a question if you wish.

(omg . . . what have I done? No doubt he's going to make a lame duck out of me yet again!)

Do you more prefer fondling waterfowl or dressing up as the Queen? What if I supplied the orange sauce?

Oops! That's more than one question, Eddie, so I suppose I've ruined my chances of getting an answer. Oh, well. I know, in your heart, you like both equally as much, no matter whether there's orange sauce or not. God bless you.

(That goes back to a post I did, long ago, in which I kidded Eddie unmercifully. He, being an extremely good sport, took it like the man that he is. In reality, Eddie neither fondles waterfowl or dresses up like Her Majesty. So far as I know, at any rate.)

May I have one more word here, Eddie? I hope those people who are just being introduced to me will send me some money, if they're men, and nude photos of themselves, if they're women. If they're neither, both. And I thank you in advance for your kind indulgence and incredulous stares. Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas indeed!  Actually I put my hand up to being late with Jim's Re-Roast so I will update his intentions and wish you all a Happy New Year on his behalf.  Now about these wretched ducks and the Queen (and he forgot to mention Stanley Holloway, didn't he?).  Well Jim, all I can say is that I have documentary evidence that you became interested in ducks from a very early age LOL, and obviously this interest has turned into an obsession.  There he is folks, playing ducks and drakes in the kitchen sink! LOL.

What's up, Jim, can't yer find yer ducks? LOL

Well that was great fun, Jim. Thanks for appearing on the show and I look forward to many more encounters with my great blogging adversary.  Lots of banter, skirmishes, duels, slanging matches, wars, apocalypses. Bring it on, man and I'll be ready for you LOL. But now you are a Blog Of Note I think you might be able to think of a different insult for me other than the ducks - so there!. No, actually folks I like Jim a lot and we are great pals. . . . . . Jim, you're a ten out of ten guy!

OK - we'll finish by having a look at Jim's Blog Page . . . and see what rubbish he is writing about me perhaps! LOL

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Today's Sunday Roast with Jim Suldog is the 145th

in a weekly series of interviews with bloggers from around the world ______________________________________________

This interview will feature in The Roll of Honour

for all published Roasts. To view press  HERE

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