13 Year Old Girl Threatens To Kill Santa

We all know Christmas in this day and age is way over the top from a commercial standpoint - it has been so for years and regrettably the main focus of Christmas has been eclipsed by presents, greed, holidays, in fact everything other than what Christmas should be about.

Not more so than this year. Of course this story, featured in newspapers and media throughout the UK, does have a funny side but in a way it is rather shocking.

I was dumb stuck when I heard this story on our local radio. But of course it tickled my sense of humour too.

Ahh! Poor Santa is crying

A 13 year old girl wrote an ultimatum letter to Father Christmas demanding at least two expensive presents on her list and warned him that if he failed to deliver she would kill him.  Further, she threatened to hunt down his beloved reindeer, cook them and serve them to homeless people on Christmas day.  (Well at least she was thinking of less fortunates LOL).  Her mother was amazed at first but vowed to meet her daughter's demands, saying, "You don't want to get the wrong side of Mekeeda!"  However, she continued that it would be rather difficult to satisfy her daughter's wish to have the real live Justin Bieber in her Christmas stocking.

Here is her letter in full.

Dear Santa


This Christmas I don't ask for much so if I don't get at least two of the things I want I will literally KILL you. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?  Oh! also I'll hunt down your reindeers, cook them and serve their meat to homeless people on Christmas day.
Nobody wants that.
So here is what I want


A Blackberry
Austin Mahone or Justin Beiber (real)
Money
Laura Knitted 33 Jumper
High Top Converter


Remember two of these or you DIE
Love From
Makeeda Austin
xxxxxx


Notice the affection she displays to Santa when she signs off "Love From" and even gives him some kisses before she plunges the knife in.

There were other items on the list but her hand writing was not clear so I could not read them and so I omitted them.  I do hope Santa was able to read her demands or else he might be in grave danger.   I hope he has a reliable pair of glasses from SpecSavers. She addressed the letter to Santa, Lapland, North Pole, so he is bound to receive it.

Shaking for reasons other than the cold Santa was observed to have modified his usual Christmas saying this year to, "No, No, No!" and he is considering employing Security guards to accompany him to ride shotgun when delivering presents throughout the cosmos.  He is considering kidnapping Justin Beiber in order to protect himself and says if he is arrested he will plead Self Defence.

Tracy, her mother said, "We can't have her killing Santa can we so I had better let her have what she wants".
She continued, Mekeeda is such a lovely girl but can be very demanding.  She is energetic and has to burn off all her excess energy playing sports or she can be hyperactive when she gets home.  She is the life and soul of the party - there is never a dull moment when she is around so we can forgive her for being a bit of a diva."

I wonder whether her mother's secret wish this year to Santa is for him to give this young lady a long overdue good spanking.

______________________________ 

Whilst on the subject of Santa for those who missed it I wrote an article two years ago describing in great detail how he managed to deliver so many presents in such a small time-frame on Christmas Eve whilst consuming vast amounts of Sherry, kissing lots of Mummies under the mistletoe and managing to climb up and down chimneys at the speed of light. See HERE to read How Does Santa Do It?