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Monday 16 July 2012

Letter Of Resignation

Dear Boss

I am seriously considering tending my resignation but I wanted to write to you to express some concerns I have..

Since I started working for you I don't have time to blog anymore.
When I don’t have time to blog anymore my readers hate me.
When my readers hate me they don’t visit my blog anymore.
When my readers don’t visit my blog anymore my hits drop.
When my hits drop my comments drop
When my hits and/or comments drop I become unhappy.
When I become unhappy I eat a lot.
When I eat a lot I get fat
When I get fat, it affects your company’s image
When your company’s image is affected your business is no good.
When your business is no good you become unhappy
When you become unhappy you eat a lot, just like me.
When you eat a lot you become fat, just like me.

You see Boss, it’s a vicious cycle.  I don’t want you to become unhappy because I care about you, Boss. Further to my concern is that I am not able to visit my fellow bloggers' posts, read them and make comments. Consequently my fellow bloggers, when they discover I have not commented:
Eat a lot,
Get Fat,
Become inefficient at their jobs,
Degrade their company businesses,
Write to their bosses, who become unhappy, eat a lot and get fat.
Just imagine, indirectly you might be contributing to the national obesity problem, or worse, global obesity.  Further, you might, indirectly, be the cause of global recession, global unemployment and global unhappiness - all because I cannot blog anymore.

So the conclusion is I may have to resign so you don't get fat and the world does not sink into depression (both personal and economic).  So perhaps you'd better let me go unless you can free me some time to blog in order to save the world.
Then my readers won’t hate me anymore.
My readers will visit my blog again.
My hits will increase.
My comments will increase.
I will be happy.
I will not eat a lot.
I will not get fat.
Your company image will be unaffected.
Your business will be good again.
You will be happy.
You will not eat a lot.
You will not get fat.
The global population will be happy, productive and prosperous - all because of you, Boss.  Aren't you kind? 

In fact you will be so happy you will tear up this letter and say, “Please don’t resign or even think of it.  I am going to give you some office time to blog, plus a computer and a fast broadband, plus full backing from our IT department.  I am going to promote you and I am going to give you a big pay rise, a company car, 8 weeks holiday, full insurance and hospital cover, a good pension pot, unlimited preference shares, a seat on the board - in fact you can become Chief Executive, my job, because I am resigning to start blogging."

Thanks Boss.
Yours sincerely,

Fred Blogs

Just a little mental doodle of what I might say if I had a boss!! LOL.  Oh I have, Mrs Bluelights so I'd better send it to her. LOL


  1. I think this is a perfectly reasonable request. How did it work for you?

  2. Wow!Very good reasoning for some blogging time.

  3. LOL! Let me know if it works!

  4. Haha, love this post! Glad your boss is letting you blog on the job now :)

  5. I love it. Of course, in my case I'd have to send it to myself!

  6. Love the post Eddie...says it all perfectly. Thanks for your visit. Yes, there's alittle potato salad left.

  7. So THAT'S why I've gained so much weight lately! You tell your boss that I hold him personally responsible, and I will be sending him the bill for the Dukan Diet System.

  8. I thought I heard you say something, Eddie, but I was munching on a carton of Twinkies. Actually, I've gained so much weight since you last visited me that the fat has risen up and enclosed my ears. That, in turn, has caused a back-up of earwax, and it's dribbling out of my mouth even as I write this. So far, most folks seem to notice no real difference between the earwax and what usually comes out of my mouth, so I suppose I should be thankful for that. I'm thankful for the Twinkies; I know that much.

    I'll be back sometime after I finish the garbage bag full of gummi bears I just purchased.

  9. hahaha...oh, you are a hoot! I've missed you! Glad you've returned to blog land. :)

  10. Hi Eddie, I hope Mrs. Bluelights gives you a raise and a promotion with time off for good behavior and more blogging ;-)


  11. If it works for you, I might try it too!
    Eddie, you're so funny, a great laugh. Would love to see the inside of your brain and how it works, lol!
    Thanks for your lovely (and funny!) comments on my recent dilemma too, you lifted me out of the blues.

  12. Hilarious post! You are a riot, Eddie! Sorry I'm late, but my boss is the same way! LOL Glad to see you back in Blogland! Cheers!

  13. stopping by to say hello! are you going to any of the olympics?

  14. Betsy - Hi and thanks for calling. We are not visiting the olympics but will follow very keenly on TV. I expect I will be a very, very old man when the olympics returns to UK or my bones will - LOL

    To all my other friends - thanks for your visits and comments.

    To those who have not visited or commented - No comment! LOL

  15. I had a bit of trouble posting my comment earlier.
    Let's see if it works this time!

    Hmmm...perhaps I am out of practice (blogging and commenting!).
    Ha! I could've written and tendered this resignation myself.
    As always, your posts are worth reading especially when one gets the Sunday Night Blues ;-)

  16. I had a bit of trouble posting my comment earlier.
    Let's see if it works this time!

    Hmmm...perhaps I am out of practice (blogging and commenting!).
    Ha! I could've written and tendered this resignation myself.
    As always, your posts are worth reading especially when one gets the Sunday Night Blues ;-)

  17. I really can't imagine your readers would ever hate you! After all, we all go awol from time to time, right?

  18. thx for that interesting one. Defenetly also worth a look:

  19. I miss your blog and your friendship, my friend.
    I know that you have a lot going on, but I wanted to let you know that you are missed.
    Sending you hugs and smiles,

  20. eddie...just read about your wife over at maggies...know we will say a prayer for her this evening and keep her in our prayers as well...peace to you sir...


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