For Thumbelina's Roast please press HERE
Now, before we proceed with the next installment of my play, 767 Weddings . . etc which I shall post on Monday, there is a little business for me complete, requiring just a few minutes of your time - a mini award ceremony - unusual for me because I normally put on a big show for these.
I received this "Over The Top Award" award from Granny On The Web recently and it is time I passed it on.
The recipient I nominate is unique, so there is just one award and that person is . . . . . yes, you've guessed . . . . . . . Jim Suldog.
"What!", you might say, "you must be stark raving bonkers!"
"Fancy making an award to Suldog: he'll have your guts for garters!"
My reply is, "Either I am extremely brave or I am nuts! bearing in mind what happened the last time I was bold enough to present Jim an award . . . plus a plate of fish and chips I might add. And do you know what? Jim had no appetite for these whatsoever. And then we got into an huge argument about American Football having no rules!"
Well, look at this award:First off, Jim I apologise that a lady is pictured. I have not the know-how to draw a moustache and as far as I can tell there is no male award equivalent in existence. So kindly forget the gender - it's the thought that counts.
Normally there is a list of 35 mundane questions requiring 35 equally mundane answers - I thought I would dispense with these because if I did include them I think you would really go over the top and come straight over and bash me one! (Thank God we no longer have Concorde). But if anyone feels they must see all these silly questions and answers press HERE
Instead I invite you to list 35 ways of torturing or killing me in the most frightful and painful ways imaginable - I do this purely for the amusement of your readers and mine too, I might add.
The award reads, "Your Blog is Over The Top", but Jim I am not awarding it for that reason. Already we all know your blog is over the top and that is why we all love it and visit it frequently. My reason is purely in anticipation of your likely over the top response. I can feel the vibes from way across the pond and wonder exactly which missiles you are preparing right now for me and which ones are launching at me. Perhaps I like to live dangerously!
My second reason for this foolhardy gesture is because there is a seasonal flavour to it.
We have just completed the anniversary of Armistice Day when the First World War ended on 11 November 1918. We all remember the phrase "Over The Top" when us Tommies boldly or madly climbed the ladders and charged wildly into no man's land for King and Country. Well it is into that spirit I enter the fray, for I am going over the top into a hail of whatever is coming my way as I present you with this "Over The Top" Award which I am sure all your followers, and mine, will agree is truly deserved by you.
Should I keep my helmet on?
Now back to the fish and chips! How could anyone refuse this? I've even given it lashings of ketchup!! This piece of cod passeth all understanding! . . . . and Jim still refused it.
I'm still alive so it looks promising so far.
As the man said when he fell out of the Empire State Building approaching floor twenty, "So far so good!"
Oh! It seems as though someone has beaten me to it, Jim. I note from your blog you have the award already - what another brave or foolhardy person! How can that be?
I quote from Jim's comment informing me he has the award already:
"Eddie, you idiot. I would love nothing more than to flay you until you were a bloody lump, but I already received this award.
Now, if you want to substitute your name for every time Jazz's name appears in that, feel free. It will probably give you great pleasure, since the English are well known around the world for a fondness of having the lash put to them.
(Hopefully, everyone is still reading.)
I love Eddie. I really do. And, Eddie, if you really, truly, want me to barbecue you, I'll be happy to do so. But, damn it, man, you've got to give me something I don't already have - which rules out the clap - and probably something I want - which rules out pretty much anything else you have to offer.) (That was supposed to be a nice paragraph, wherein I let everyone know how much I truly adore Eddie, but it got rather venomous at the end. Sorry. Even though he's a big poofter who likes to wear women's underwear when he goes grocery shopping, I think the world of Eddie. I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea concerning him.)
(I really do love you, Eddie. Thanks for the fun.)"
What a nice chap! I think I will set Marguerite on him, at least she loves me!
I hastily modified my post and left a comment on Jim's post to this effect:
"Jim - OK, you have the award so you can either accept my Over he Top Award as a joint gift or my alternative award. Let's jump right over from WW1 to WW2 and capture the flavour of this prestigious award highlighting a famous victory sign. I would be very happy to pass this 2009 Friendly Blogger Award to you as a sort of consolation prize. I affectionately call this my "Up Your's Award" and can think of no other person worthy to receive it other than yourself. I do so in jest, Jim, I think you are great really but I can discern the smile with steam starting to come out of your ears and nostrils - or is it wind?
"I am not able to read the other (middle) word but the Winston Churchill sign comes at no extra charge he! he! "
Ok folks! It's on! Just heard from Jim to say I am due for the biggest thrashing I've ever had but he is a bit busy right now but he advises me to flee the country! Hell hath no fury like Suldog's scorn LOL. Here is his reply:
"Eddie - The "Friendly" Blogger Award? How could I possibly pass it up? How marvelously incongruous to accept such an award with a steaming pile of vitriol! Not immediately, but, yes, soon. I know you'll take it like a man, and I appreciate the opportunity to have some fun with this. Thanks!"