The Sunday Roast

Surely, Michelle Is A Writer With Surly Humour!

This week's interview is with Michelle Hickman
who writes the blog, The Surly Writer .

Her other blog, Michelle Hickman,
is sub-titled, A glimpse at the imagination of a writer

Thank you Michelle

A very warm welcome to you and to your followers

Here's the first of the standard questions. Why do you blog?

To improve on my writing and connect with people. I find the Blogger format a relaxing environment where I can talk about anything I want, experiment on new topics, and bring a few smiles to my readers. And really, ever since I started to blog, I’ve become amazed at how much better my abilities are. I look back at a few of my older written pieces, in print in my local newspaper, and I wince at the lackadaisical style. Ugh. Where’s my time machine? I’ve got to get rid of the incriminating evidence...

What's the story behind your blog name?

It’s a misnomer, as most people find out when visiting the site. Basically, it’s a disturbing inside joke. I’m a very quiet and shy person. At one point in my life, I received a lot of flack from a few people who assumed I was “surly” because of my quietness. I thought it would be cool to use this name to show just because someone is pegged with a certain moniker, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the truth about this person.

What is the best thing about being a blogger?

It’s finding those surprising similarities with other bloggers. You can visit someone’s site for a few years only to discover, with one new post, something the person likes or has done in their life that mirrors a similar instance in your own. That brief moment of connection, of saying, “Wow, I feel the same way/done the same thing too,” is a thrill every time.

What key advice would you give to a newbie blogger?

Beware Blogger “Burnout.” I’ve seen people kill off their blogs because they put out so much stuff at a rapid-fire pace at first that they don’t know what else to post about later on. Also, keep blogging fun and entertaining for yourself.

What is the most significant blog post you've ever read?

Theresa from “An Officer and a Garbage Can” made a heartbreaking post discussing her job as a code enforcement officer. She talked about listening to her police scanner radio, hearing those high speed chases and accidents, and how such news can affect a person when not at the scene.

What is the most significant blog post you've ever written?

“A Question and a Story.” It was a dual-posting I made with my dear friend Jim (Suldog) who did the post, “Juneteenth.” We both wrote about certain racial episodes during our childhoods and directed our readers to each other’s sites on the same day. It was an enjoyable experience and I hope I’ll have the pleasure of doing it again with him.

If you were to suggest two blogs for roasting who would you pick, and why?

I would have to say Hilary’s, The Smitten Image. Most of the people here already know she took over David McMahon’s “Post of the Day” and now does a “Post of the Week.” But there’s much more to her blog. Her photography is phenomenal, and her writing is without compare when combined with her photos. My other choice would be the humorist Knucklehead. He has recently come into the blogging community, and his posts will make you laugh every time.

That concludes the formal aspect of the interview but it would be nice to get to know you a little better while you are slowly turning on the roasting spit. So while you are screaming in agony above the open fire here are a few more questions for you.

Pick three things you can't live without (no you cannot have ice cubes to cool you down)

A cute firefighter to hose me off. HA! I got around your little roasting spit. Take that! Anyway, I would have to say my heart, since obviously I would be dead without it - so that’s a must to have. And I would say there are several dear blogging friends who’ve made a great impact on my life. I would list names, but it seems I’ve already mentioned them in other questions. Well, that was easy.

If we were to make a movie about blogland, what would it be and who would you cast in the leading roles?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I would love to do a campy remake named, Eddie Bluelights the Spam Comment Slayer. You can go after those annoying anonymous commentors who dump numerous links for men’s enhancement products on people’s blogs. You’ll take sharpened keyboards and pound them like wooden stakes into those people’s chests. You can even have Suldog as an annoying sidekick to crack jokes. I think both of you would look good in miniskirts.
Well we do look good in miniskirts, don't we, and what nice legs we have? Guess who is Jim and who is Eddie? Brilliant concept, Michelle. I don't think Jim or I require the services of these 'Philistines' but can you imagine Jim Suldog and Eddie Bluelights brandishing their keyboard stakes and fighting for the same cause against all the Vampire Spammers in Transylvania. Jim would say, "Stakes eh! Well er my steak on my roast, no 69 is much better than your steak on your roast, no 82, Eddie! Mine is well done and your's is just medium rare!" I would reply harshly,"Of course mine is rare! It's got more blood in it to tempt these vampires into the open so we could stake them with our keyboard stakes. Come on, let's get 'em! Now quick tell them a joke and take a photo of us in our miniskirts for our readers! Oh Jim! You've chopped off our heads!!!

If you were an ice cream cone, which flavour would you prefer and who would you most want to lick you?

Heh-heh-heh! You dirty Englishman! You act all innocent at first, putting my guard down with those normal questions, and then you throw this out thinking I’ll just go along with the flow. Well, it worked. I would be any flavor that would offer the most licks, and the lickee would be... oops. I believe my answer got lost when emailing you my roast answers. Darn. How did that happen?

Describe in one sentence your perfect day.

Sleeping and eating and writing and more sleeping and one day visiting my favorite blog people then afterward I would have to take a nap.

(Sounds like my day)

If you were a fictional writer which one would you be and why?

I’m not really sure. One of my on-line friends once said I reminded him of Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) since I’m so prolific with my writing. On a good day, I might do 3000 words, or one novel chapter.

And finally I invite you to ask me one in return - it's the least I can do. OK fire away!

Okay! I’ll make things *snicker* easy and give you multiple choice.

If there was a worldwide ban on putting an extra “u” after the “o” in words like humor and flavor (since we Americans know how it’s supposed to be spelled - dagnabit), what would be your reaction?

A: You’d want to be roasted over an open fire and be fed to vegetarian cannibals.
2: You’d form a splinter cell group devoted to asking ladies what type of ice cream they’d be.
Cinco: You’d roll your eyes and cuss at those darn Yankees messing with the Queen’s language.

At first glance this looks to be a snorter of a question.
I shall examine each one of your possible answers in turn to this most serious of questions.
1. How the heck could I be roasted and fed to vegetarian canibals? If they ate me they would be carnivores and not vegetarians, dummy! - unless I was a cabbage! What kind of a trick question is that? Although this is probably the correct answer I shall reject it out of hand.
2. My reputation seems to indicate that I would form a splinter group to offer young ladies ice cream of a flavour of their choice. Well why not? Let the ladies have their ice cream! But wait! This has nothing to do with your inability across the pond to adhere to the finer points of Queen's English, so I am leaning towards the final choice, yes . . . this is my answer:
3. "Damned Yankees messing with the Queen's Language. Now look, as I explained once at great length to Mr Suldog in a heated discussion, I know it is not entirely your fault since you don't know the whole truth. I blame John Cabot and The Pilgrim Fathers because when they set sail from your glorious motherland they took an erroneous dictionary with them. So when they colonised America this is all they had and you have all inherited a grave error of vastly understating the letter 'u'. Consequently people cannot spell and manufacturers of your keyboards make them without a 'u' so it is impossible to type 'colour', 'armour', 'flavour', etc, correctly.

Thank you Michelle for this enjoyable interview

Today's Sunday Roast with Michelle is the 103rd in a weekly
series of interviews with bloggers from around the world. _________________________________________________

This interview will feature in The Roll of Honour
for all published Roasts. To view press HERE __________________________________________________

Next week, A Woman Of No Importance