The Sunday Roast

Anyone For Some Red Hot Jazz?

So this is the lady behind the little froggy avatar appearing on her comments. 

Meet Michigan J. Frog of Looney Toons fame - along with Marvin the martian he's her favourite Loony Toone.  My guest said, "I hesitated a long time between the two of them but despite Marvin's attitude, Michigan won out because being French I'm a frog too. Plus he's a smart ass. He's been following me around for the past 10 or so years." 

And he looks so happy, doesn't he?  . . . . wait! He's breaking into song and dance to . . . . .

All That Jazz

This week's interview is with Lilian, aka Jazz
who writes Haphazard Life.

Thank you for the interview, Lilian

A very warm welcome to you and your followers

I noticed, Lilian, you have a WordPress blog and you used to be on Blogger - want to explain that?

Haphazard Life moved to WordPress because I got sick of Blogger playing with my head. Something was always screwed up, and I just don't have the patience for that kind of crap anymore. Anyone who knows me knows that technology and I have a really messed up relationship. We are the dysfunctional family that lives next door. WP might have less bells and whistles than Blogger (for example look wise) but I haven’t had any problems since I moved, though I still have to get to the blog roll and minor tweaking.

Crumbs! that told 'em - if you're reading, Mr Blogger, you'd better pull your socks up!

Why do you blog?

Why not? Actually I started blogging in a totally random (uh...haphazard?) way. I developed a passion for illustration and graphic/multi media art over the past few years. I stumbled upon Danny Gregory's book, Everyday Matters, Googled him and ended up on his blog. A blog! What the hell was a blog? So I read it, followed links to other blogs, read them and figured, "What the hell, looks fun, I should try this!" - and the rest, as they say, is history. I love to write but have never felt the urge to write a novel or any such thing. For me blogging is simply a public form of the private journals I write, a chronicle I'm not embarrassed for others to see (well not usually embarrassed).

I've been blogging for somewhere around five years now, first at a place called Open Diary (can you believe that name?), then, when I discovered it, at Blogger in October of 2005, and finally, when I got annoyed enough, over to WordPress this August.

Through blogging, I've become more mindful of what's going on around me since I'm always on the lookout for blog fodder. I've also discovered new interests through blogging. For instance, in August I participated in August Break, a challenge where you took one photo a day for the whole month of August. I really got into it, searching out the photos, trying to take something interesting (well, to me at any rate). I've discovered that I really like taking pictures and have bought a book on digital photography and the composition of images and such. It's fascinating, and I really want to learn.

(And no doubt you always take a camera wherever you go - I learned that from David McMahon shortly after I started - and yes, blogging does tend to develop our interest in photography)

What's the story behind your blog name?

There is no story really. I wish! it would be cool to have an interesting story to tell about the name. Alas, it's totally prosaic as stories go. I was looking for a name that reflected that fact that I think life is just a series of random occurrences. I looked in a thesaurus and saw Haphazard. I liked the word. I added Life. The name is basically as haphazard as everything else.

(Interested how we all think of our blog names)

What is the best thing about being a blogger?

Shall I butter you up and say being asked for this interview?

(Glad you did LOL!)

Seriously, like pretty much everyone else here, it's the community I've discovered. People I've come to consider as friends. I've actually met several bloggers and loved every one of them. There are also several people who I haven't met yet but who I definitely consider good friends. There's a whole wonderful world out there full of people who seriously rock. People I would never have met without blogging. The inner tube truly has transformed the world into a village. And what's not to love about that?

(It's remarkable how we make 'bloggy' friends - have not actually met anyone yet but I've several I'd like to.  I have been very privileged to get to know many through doing the Sunday Roast)

What key advice would you give to a newbie blogger?

Just be yourself, that's all anyone wants to see/read. Tell your story - in my case it's more like rant your story. It's really that simple. At any rate it worked for me. But then I just don't have the energy to invent and keep up a persona.

(Now that's what I have been doing wrong! I should be ranting! LOL)

What is the most significant blog post you've ever read?

I have long admired all those interviewees who actually have an answer to that question. And they all point to these amazing posts. How about XUP's recent post Life of Pee. Yeah, more information than I ever wanted or needed on the subject. But I went to bed that evening a little bit smarter (not that it's information I'll ever actually use, but all things considered it could make for some "interesting" cocktail party talk so it's all good, right?)

What is the most significant blog post you've ever written?

I like to think I've written nothing of significance. Unless you want to count the squirrel incident where I run around killing cuddly rodents (seriously though, I'm not an evil bloodthirsty homicidal maniac - at least not most of the time).

Which two blogs would you recommend for roasting?

Two? Just two? I spurn your two... I don't do rules, so:

- The aforementioned XUP. She's a brilliant blogger who writes about the most bizarre things, and her comment section is quite often just as entertaining as the posts.

- Rachel - she's been complaining about a dearth of inspiration recently. This will give her something to blog about.

- Lime - The queen of the smart ass meme. She'd probably really get into this. A funny funny lady is Lime

- Jocelyn of O Mighty Crisis. She has just set off with husband, two children and a great sense of humour to spend a sabbatical year in Turkey. Even if she never makes the roast, she is definitely a must read.

- And finally, last but not least, Mr. Write On Because he's my alter ego. Though he comes across as less of a bitch. And much more polite. Plus I obviously need a token male here.

(Great! what a bunch! I will forgive you for not stopping at two and I will invite them onto the show)

That concludes the formal aspect of the interview but it would be nice to get to know you a little better while you are slowly turning on the roasting spit. So while you are screaming in agony above the open fire here are a few more questions for you.

Pick three things you can't live without.

Red wine, white wine, my liver. Who knows, I might eventually have to do without one or the other.

(Let's hope it's not your liver, but a glass of vino never did anyone any harm)

If we were to make a movie about BlogLand, what would it be and who would you cast in the leading roles?

The Blog - a remake of that 50s classic, The Blob, with a modern twist. A gelatinous alien creature known only as "the BLOG" falls to earth with the intention of taking over the world one computer at a time. Rather than trying to stop this evil alien, intrepid heros, Jazz and Eddie aid and abet the horrifying creature in spreading its domination far and wide, eating peoples' souls as they write their blogs (and play online video games).  In exchange for their services, the infamous J&E are granted the titles of Empress and Emperor of the blogosphere.

(Where've yer been?  I'm already doing it! Call me Emperor, Empress LOL)

If you could live your life again who would you be, and why?

Elizabeth I? Catherine the Great? Elinor of Aquitaine? They all led fascinating lives, but unfortunately, I'm not sure I'd do terribly well at the bathing once a year thing they used to do. If I could live my life again knowing what I know now, I'd probably just be myself. So far, despite the ups and downs that come with making it to almost 50 I've had a good life, a life I'm happy with. If I had to be someone else, I'd just want to be someone with enough sense to be happy with her life.

Alternatively, I'd like to be Genghis Kahn so I could take over the world an wreak havoc elsewhere than strictly in my immediate vicinity. Wreaking havoc at large must be such fun.

(Come on! Make up your mind!  Which one?  If I had to guess, it would be Genghis Kahn . . . am I right?)

You have been given a wonderful talent from above. This causes you to make your mark on humanity and be world famous. In which area would prefer: a best selling novelist, a brilliant artist, a gifted musician, a fantastic singer, a charismatic leader, anything you choose, and why?

But, but but… I don't want to be world famous. That's got to be really annoying. Just imagine the lack of privacy! Can I have fortune instead of fame? But ah, to be a brilliant artist! For someone as obsessed as I am with drawing, graphic arts, street art and just art in general, and who can't draw to save my life it would be amazing to be able to make beautiful art.

(OK you can be a brilliant but unknown artist. I hope you make a fortune.  Actually I agree; I would not like to be famous either)

If you were an ice cream cone, which flavour would you prefer and who would you most want to lick you?

Ben and Jerry Cherry Garcia all the way! best ice cream evah!!! and I'd keep my usual licker Mr. Jazz, cause he rocks, though I don't think Cherry Garcia is his favourite. I'd be Rainforest Crunch because he likes it better. See what I would do for my man? Besides, the more he likes the flavour, the more he licks, eh? ;-)

(Good answer to an extremely daft question)

Describe in one sentence your perfect day.

I get up and realize I've forgotten to go to work but it doesn't bother me one bit because I'm at the cottage where I'll spend the day getting me some nookie with Mr. Jazz, reading, drinking tea and playing with paints and pens in my journal and eating lovely food and having one of Mr. Jazz's evil margaritas while watching an episode of Mad Men or Breaking Bad, or, conceivably, Weeds and eating a lovely dinner that he prepared (because he loves to cook and believe me it's much much better for the both of us that way) and then maybe watching a movie then more nookie then bed - ouf. Damn, I'm tired just writing it.

(Sounds like a typical day doesn't it!)

If you were a fiction writer which one would you be and why?

Stephen King, cause the guy can tell a story (even his not so good books just pull your right in) and he had oodles and oodles and then more oodles of money, which I imagine could be quite entertaining.

What was your most embarrassing moment?

My most embarrassing moment.. ouch. Well, it would probably be the day I walked through the door of a Montreal restaurant that shall remain nameless. Literally. Walked. Through. As in I forgot to open the door and the plate glass crumbled. The waiters rushed to the second door and walked me into the place - probably they were afraid I'd do it again. Not my most stellar moment. I had a headache the next day. Then there's the time I swiped my subway card too quickly and the turnstile didn't turn and I sort of flipped right over it. A lesson in physics. Impetus will take you over... and land you on your face on the other side. I'm an accident waiting to happen - which regularly does. It's actually surprising that I've lived to the ripe old age of 49 with no broken bones.

(You should have been a stunt girl, Lilian. Congrats on no broken bones)

If you awoke to find you had changed gender what would be the first and second things you would do?

Well, seeing as I always have to pee first thing in the morning, I'd pee standing up. Then I'd find someone to have sex with, and if that were out of the question, I'd spank the monkey just to see what it's like on the other side of the fence. I definitely would not shave or put on a suit.

(Don't forget to aim straight or some woman will nag you sooner or later! LOL. Oh and always put the seat down - they don't like that either. As for the rest please remember to shut the door!)

Your turn to ask me a question if you wish.

First off, I want to thank you for inviting me do this. I know it took me way too long to get it done. Mea culpa.

Now, for the question and you can see me laugh as I ask it:

Eddie, if you woke to find you had changed gender, what would be the first and second things you would do? - other than scream of course. Oh, and since I don't follow rules, If you were an ice cream cone which flavour would you be and who would you want licking you?

Now it just had to happen one day and I've been asking for this for some time, haven't I? Crumbs! Can I go back to sleep in hope it's all a nightmare?

Well, here goes! If I changed gender, other than talking a lot more and picking up the phone more often and writing out endless and aimless do lists, after a suitable and respectable period of mourning for a lost dear friend I would have a ceremonial burning of all my Y fronts and my cherished little black book.  Next I would buy some ice cream to console myself  and it would have to be a huge Knicker Bocker Glory.  As to whom I would like to lick me well I am a woman now and therefore I am not able to make up my mind - sorry LOL. Had you asked me as a man I would have a very different answer for you other than I am at the grateful age LOL.

Well, that was fun, Lilian. Thank you for the interview.

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Today's Sunday Roast with Jazz at Haphazard Life is the 135th

in a weekly series of interviews with bloggers from around the world.
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This interview will feature in The Roll of Honour

for all published Roasts. To view press  HERE

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