COME ON EDDIE! WHY ARE WE WAITING SO LONG FOR YOUR POST?

I feel so sorry for you poor guys waiting very patiently for me to post!
(I'm not actually - I'm highly amused!)

I hope after all this time my beloved followers have not forgotten the way to my blog and are not too bored waiting for me.

But come on, when you do pop over I always give you a bit of a laugh don't I?

This photo really cracks me up and I thought I'd adapt it for the occasion. 

I've never seen a bunch of individuals more bored than these guys! Aren't they marvellous?
and I thought the captions might emphasise their total tedium LOL

It's as though they are waiting  for our economy to recover
or
Watching an extremely long tidily winks match
or
Waiting for the Summer to begin in England

So what have I got for you today?

As usual on a Friday, I was driving a bus for Dial-A-Ride.  It is always an interesting experience and  offers unexpected surprises every time.

I live near a lady aged 103. She is quite remarkable in that she lives alone in her flat and is quite independent and manages to look after herself.  Further, she is happy to retort that she has no artificial hips or knees and that all her original equipment is in perfect working order.  Her words - not mine!  Incidentally, she has an incredible sense of humour and we bounce off each other very well and she is very sharp.  I asked her to what she owed her longevity and she replied. "I chose my parents correctly but I am a little disappointed because my eldest sister lived only until she was 100".

I expressed my surprise that she was asking for such a lot more than was already very generous, to which she replied, "Nonsense! My mother lived until she was 102, my grand parents 95 and my father was killed in the Battle of The Somme in WW1 when he was 40 - so you can't count him."

She was having a job getting up the steps onto the bus so I asked her if she required assistance.  She said, "Give me a push, there's a good man!".  

I said, "Where would you like me to push you?"

She said, "Oh! what the hell, give my bottom a push, it's much easier!"

I said, "Would you like me to give you an initial push on the first step or should I do it on all three steps?"

She said, "A girl is young only once so go for it on every step!"  . . . . . . . . .  I was in hysterics!

When we got to the top another lady aged about 82 was laughing her socks off and I said to her, "This lady is 103", to which she replied, "Yes, and she still likes her bottom pushed, doesn't she?"

All three of us had a good laugh.

There are some great characters on this Dial-A-Ride service.

Another chap who I like very much is 92 and let's call him Don.

I've known him for 5 years and during my first stint at the job he was quite a misery and complained about everything, so we humoured him and tried to do our best.

Five years later he is a changed man - he is friendly and laughs at all my jokes - so he can't be too bad can he?  I picked him up at the Supermarket at four o'clock one Friday afternoon, and he asked me, "Ed, do you ever get any miserable people giving you grief? . . . . to which I replied, "Only on a Friday afternoon at 4 o'clock!"  He roared with laughter.  He said, "You're the best driver they've got - we can have a good laugh with you, to which I said, "Don, what did Mozart do as soon as he died?" He said, "I dunno, tell me!"  I said, "He started decomposing!"

Another chap, George, is about 95 and was a Merchant Seaman.  I said, "George! to what do you owe your longevity?"

He replied, "Several things - I'll list them:

1.  I never got married

2.  I had a girl in every port

3.  I drink a glass of Cranberry Juice every day

4.  I drink half a bottle of whiskey a day!"

I do meet some interesting characters.

I met a dear lady aged 99 when on Ambulance duty! I was taking her from a Residential Care Home to Bath Royal United Hospital for a check up.  She said, "Eddie, next time I go I shall be 100!"
On the way I pointed out a lovely cottage and I said, "Doris, see that cottage there?  My great Grandfather used to live there!"  She asked, "Is he still alive?"  I said, "Doris, if he was he would be 167.  Should we knock on the door and ask him to make us a cup of tea?"

I have a lot more to say about my Dial-A-Ride job and my Ambulance days - but will keep this for other occasions!  

I hope those poor sods in the picture are feeling a bit better now.

Have a great weekend one and all.