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Sunday, 4 May 2014


I feel so sorry for you poor guys waiting very patiently for me to post!
(I'm not actually - I'm highly amused!)

I hope after all this time my beloved followers have not forgotten the way to my blog and are not too bored waiting for me.

But come on, when you do pop over I always give you a bit of a laugh don't I?

This photo really cracks me up and I thought I'd adapt it for the occasion. 
I've never seen a bunch of individuals more bored than these guys! Aren't they marvellous?
and I thought the captions might emphasise their total tedium LOL

It's as though they are waiting  for our economy to recover
Watching an extremely long tidily winks match
Waiting for the Summer to begin in England

So what have I got for you today?

As usual on a Friday, I was driving a bus for Dial-A-Ride.  It is always an interesting experience and  offers unexpected surprises every time.

I live near a lady aged 103. She is quite remarkable in that she lives alone in her flat and is quite independent and manages to look after herself.  Further, she is happy to retort that she has no artificial hips or knees and that all her original equipment is in perfect working order.  Her words - not mine!  Incidentally, she has an incredible sense of humour and we bounce off each other very well and she is very sharp.  I asked her to what she owed her longevity and she replied. "I chose my parents correctly but I am a little disappointed because my eldest sister lived only until she was 100".

I expressed my surprise that she was asking for such a lot more than was already very generous, to which she replied, "Nonsense! My mother lived until she was 102, my grand parents 95 and my father was killed in the Battle of The Somme in WW1 when he was 40 - so you can't count him."

She was having a job getting up the steps onto the bus so I asked her if she required assistance.  She said, "Give me a push, there's a good man!".  

I said, "Where would you like me to push you?"

She said, "Oh! what the hell, give my bottom a push, it's much easier!"

I said, "Would you like me to give you an initial push on the first step or should I do it on all three steps?"

She said, "A girl is young only once so go for it on every step!"  . . . . . . . . .  I was in hysterics!

When we got to the top another lady aged about 82 was laughing her socks off and I said to her, "This lady is 103", to which she replied, "Yes, and she still likes her bottom pushed, doesn't she?"

All three of us had a good laugh.

There are some great characters on this Dial-A-Ride service.

Another chap who I like very much is 92 and let's call him Don.
I've known him for 5 years and during my first stint at the job he was quite a misery and complained about everything, so we humoured him and tried to do our best.

Five years later he is a changed man - he is friendly and laughs at all my jokes - so he can't be too bad can he?  I picked him up at the Supermarket at four o'clock one Friday afternoon, and he asked me, "Ed, do you ever get any miserable people giving you grief? . . . . to which I replied, "Only on a Friday afternoon at 4 o'clock!"  He roared with laughter.  He said, "You're the best driver they've got - we can have a good laugh with you, to which I said, "Don, what did Mozart do as soon as he died?" He said, "I dunno, tell me!"  I said, "He started decomposing!"

Another chap, George, is about 95 and was a Merchant Seaman.  I said, "George! to what do you owe your longevity?"

He replied, "Several things - I'll list them:

1.  I never got married
2.  I had a girl in every port
3.  I drink a glass of Cranberry Juice every day
4.  I drink half a bottle of whiskey a day!"

I do meet some interesting characters.

I met a dear lady aged 99 when on Ambulance duty! I was taking her from a Residential Care Home to Bath Royal United Hospital for a check up.  She said, "Eddie, next time I go I shall be 100!"
On the way I pointed out a lovely cottage and I said, "Doris, see that cottage there?  My great Grandfather used to live there!"  She asked, "Is he still alive?"  I said, "Doris, if he was he would be 167.  Should we knock on the door and ask him to make us a cup of tea?"

I have a lot more to say about my Dial-A-Ride job and my Ambulance days - but will keep this for other occasions!  

I hope those poor sods in the picture are feeling a bit better now.

Have a great weekend one and all.


  1. Oh Eddie!! I don't know how you have such a great sense of humour, but I am so glad that you do as you always make me smile! It sounds as though you have a great bunch of customers on your bus who know how to enjoy themselves which is a joy to hear! I wonder if someone will give me a shove up the steps when I am 103! Hope that you have a good bank holiday weekend!

    1. Thanks Amy - I always like to laugh! I am obeying my grandmother who decreed, "Laugh and the whole world laughs with you - weep and you weep alone!"

      If I am around when you are 103 I would help you gladly - but I may be a bit wobbly myself by then LOL

  2. Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun! And I'm sure they do appreciate a driver who is happy to joke around, too.

  3. Really funny Eddie!
    I love all the ladies but especially George ha! Reminder me my british grand pa!
    He drunk so much whisky!
    But he died more young george is lucky!
    Funny and great post!

    1. Hi One-Eye! Nice to see you Gloria
      Glad you liked it - I had a lot of fun writing this one.
      Your British Grandpa sounded a bit of a lad.

    2. Yes and he was so british if you know what I say:)
      Like George!

    3. So he taught you English then lol

  4. I'll have you know that the first picture made me yawn! That girl! Yawns are contagious, you know! :)

    Cute, cute stories! I bet they are disappointed when the bus arrives and you aren't the driver. They probably say things like, "Where's Ed? Ed is our favorite!" haha.

    1. I am generally admired! lol
      And they are all lovely

    2. Why yes, you are! I would think it was great fun to ride your bus. :)

  5. and...I was to be carried up the steps...not shoved! Will you still have muscles when I'm 103 and need assistance? hahaha.....

    1. OH YES! . . . but you'd need a tremendous amount of faith! LOL

    2. But you are only a little gal and I will always have sufficient muscle power to carry you up any steps - should you require assistance of course! LOL

    3. That is SO good to

    4. oh, this is so good to know! I'll have to retire to Bristol some day and make sure I stay light as a feather. :)

    5. No, you don't need to stay as light as a feather - I'll always be strong enough to pick you up! LOL

    6. Well, I still choose the feather weight. I want you to smile and not groan as you carry me! hahaha....

    7. Oh you know I would ALWAYS smile at you whatever your weight - but you are most considerate and I thank you because I would be probably around 120 and defienitely creaking at the joints!! ROFL

      btw. If you scroll down to the last comment you will see that Suza has taken a sort of test to see how long she will live abd it comes out at 110.

      Mine is 106 so I may not be able to carry you up the steps after all. I am most intrigued to see whether you will make 103 !! LOL
      Now I am about to pop over to Bath to see my daughter - speak later.

    8. Just popped back because I thought I might have made a Freudian slip saying I would easily carry you upstairs whatever your weight - oh! it's OK I just put "Carry you up the bus steps!" - but I would be 120 so no need to worry! ROFL.

    9. omg....laughing...and now I've forgotten my reply! lol....

    10. Sit down - chill out and when ypu've remembered your reply I would be most interested to hear it - and for that matter so would half of Blogsville ROFL.
      Are you always as troublesome as this when you catch a bus or coach? ROFL

  6. Hi Eddie .. laughter is the best medicine isn't .. especially against old age - fantastic stories here ... loved them - if we can adjust this way as we get older so much the better ...

    Amazing she is expecting to live on for a while as her grandparents were 95 or so - presumably her husband would have got there too - and her parents ... then commenting on her sister! Gosh people are lovely ...

    Cheers - good to see you posting your stories again .. Hilary

    1. Thanks Hilary.
      Yes laughter and love should make the world go round

  7. those characters make life interesting though...ha....
    def the bottom push lady...that was funny....smiles....

    1. Yes, it was fun - as is she!
      I told her I would take her for a treat to our local seaside about 25 miles away, when the weather gets better.

  8. You've managed to make me feel like a young stripling, by comparison! LOL. And the good news is, I've finished your Napple Snuggle Rug...

    1. Glad there is someone young around here!! ROFL
      Gosh! I bet some people are going to bend my ear saying that!! LOL

      Great news about the snuggle rug! Thanks a lot Pen - must arrange a time for me to drive over and collect it. It will be great to meet up and we can take a photo and we can each publish a blog post commemorating the meeting of two Brit bloggers!!

  9. Eddie, you are so suited for this work.. and they so lucky to have you. There's no better gift you can give than to make someone laugh.. and it sounds as though you keep these folks in stitches. Gotta love the lady of 103. She's a hoot.

    1. Thank you, Hilary. The pleasure of doing the job is mine and I wish it was possible to do it 3 days a week.
      Yes the old lady of 103 is a hoot, as are some of the others, and she is highly intelligent and keeps her brain active by doing the Times crossword every day,

  10. Thanks for some good chuckles. I was feelin old this morning, ignored the chores, read this and 'got over myself'. I can see why you are popular with your passengers! You can perk me up from such a great distance, I bet you could work miracles in person.

    1. Thank you Pauline and glad I made you feel younger - my speciality, of course! Yes I love the interaction with the passengers/ It all stems from my ambulance days when I had a similar interaction with patients but often had them in stitches.

  11. Patients in stitches? Don't some of them have those already? ;-)

    They're lucky to have you and feed off your humour, Eddie. Laughter lightens the load. And I bet it cheers you too. Nice that they feel comfortable with you, despite what they might be dealing with.

    Hmmmm... Ms Bottom Pusher is a kick! 103 - oh my. That's the age my paternal grandmother lived to be. And my grandpa to 99. Have you taken this quiz? - it's in fun of course. I got 110, with the following description:
    “You're basically perfection in a bottle. Deep down, you want things to be clean and perfect. You may not always show it on the outside but when you're having a perfect day, you feel extremely energized. It's not a wonder you got a perfect number."

    Interested to see what YOU get! Hee hee!

    Ha! Interested to see what you get! xox

  12. Thanks Suza
    I'll take that quiz but do't hold your breath for the results! lol
    I am a very unpedictable guy and they may not invented a box for me hahaha" xox

  13. You beat me with your 110 by 4 years
    But I thought, "What the hell! Let's love life to the full!

    Here is my result:

    106 It reported:

    "You like to seize the day. You live life in a way that is different and interesting. Personal achievements come your way like a swarm of bees. When its rough, you remind yourself that it'll pass soon. "Carpe Diem" might possibly be your friend."

    Now isn't that much more interesting than your's, isn't it? ROFL.
    Well worth giving up 4 years for a fast track zippee lifestyle!

    Have another go and lossen up! LOL
    You might make 90 and boy what a life that would be!! LOL

    Told you before I did it I was a bit different!

    But I did it again and chose all the boring options I thought were less damaging to one's health AND achieved maximum score 110.

    I wonder what Betsy would score!

    She's bound to pop over for a nosey and see and have a go!! LOL

    Did you see this, Betsy? LOL

    1. What I want to know is who is going to look after me in my old age? ROFL

    2. Alright I took the test! Here's what it said...

      You like to seize the day. You live life in a way that is different and interesting. Personal achievements come your way like a swarm of bees. When its rough, you remind yourself that it'll pass soon. "Carpe Diem" might possibly be your friend.

    3. But that's exactly what I got when I took the test!

      106 and the same comment! . . . . . which means your answers were the same as mine! But we could have done better, like Suzie, who is going to live to the ripe old age of 110.

    4. Yes, lucky girl she is! But if we do it right, 106 should be enough! ha.

    5. 106 would be OK if everything still worked!!
      110 is pushing it!

  14. Loosen up? Hmmmmm... guess you don't know me. In fact I didn't choose any boring options.

    1. Only joking Suzie - no offence meant and just having a bit of fun.

    2. None taken. For some reason only half my reply showed up. Something is not

    3. Thanks good, Suzie - but it seems half your messages go astray.

  15. Maggie May4 May 2014 18:24

    I've had the same trouble from time to time. Sometimes it helps if you repost. (It showed up in my sidebar!)
    Not sure if I was supposed to go back to the elderly lady post who gave her reasons for her longevity or not. Anyway, I remember reading it.
    Had a strange tune came up too ....*So THis Is What You Want*. Was that supposed to happen?
    Luv from a confused Maggie! x

    Nuts in May

    1. Yes, Blogger sometimes confuses big time!

      Not sure what made that tune happen! I didn't ask for it! Perhaps blogger thinks my post needed a musical accompaniment! LOL

  16. You are doing a terrific service helping out these people...
    I am sure they enjoy your company...
    And make their day a lot brighter....
    Cheers! To you..
    Linda :o)

    1. Thank you Linda and if ever you want a helping hand getting onto a bus give me a call ROFL

  17. Whew! These comments are like a post in themselves! LOL You are a hoot, Eddie, and so canaille! The bus service is very lucky to have you and vice versa! Keep laughing! Cheers!

    1. Better late than never, my dear Marguerite!
      I was thinking of sending out a search party LOL
      Yes, we have great fun here - cheers :)


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