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Thursday 15 May 2014

SILLY SATURDAY MORNING AT THE AMBULANCE STATION

I thought I had better post something new in case you might have thought I'd 'kicked the bucket'. 
Well, here I am, very much alive and well.


I expect most of you will remember I used to be an Ambulance Man, working for a private company in Bristol.  These were some of the happiest days of my life and I thoroughly enjoyed everything about the work I was privileged to do for 5 years - patient care, getting to know and love the patients, the driving, the buzz of driving vehicles like this Land Rover, working with all my colleagues, working with nurses and doctors, enjoying all the admiring glances of the public in general, waving to the ladies. I still miss the work but I do reminisce from time to time. Mostly, I drove patients to and from Kidney Dialysis Units for renal dialysis.  To keep alive patients needed this for 4 hours three times a week.


I drove this blue ambulance regularly. We called it The Sunshine Bus and here it is shown overlooking a beautiful reservoir which I called The Lake.  I used to walk round it during my lunch break and it inspired me to write poetry and stories while I was there. The scenery round there is stunning and on a summer's evening it was wonderful driving around watching the sunsets over the lake and the sea, nearby.



I worked also on other ambulances as a team with my friend Richard. This often involved stretcher work and carry chair lifting.  I enjoyed all the work immensely.

I first posted "Silly Saturday at the Ambulance Station" in April 2009 and thought I would re-post it to highlight the fun we used to have at the station - particularly one Saturday morning when our sometimes over developed sense of humour plus a surplus of testosterone almost caused things to go out of control.


This photograph shows all is quiet at the Ambulance Station - some vehicles have returned - but most are still out, some on their missions ferrying renal patients to and from hospital and renal units for dialysis, and some for longer hospital to hospital transfer of patients.

All appears perfectly normal, yet a few hours before one particular Saturday morning things were so different, for on that day we all went absolutely bananas:


 It was wonderful!


An ambulance was parked very badly blocking the exit of the station - someone wanted to get out. Five crews were ready to go - all vehicle checks were completed satisfactorily and we were free to 'go mobile' as the phrase says.

I was in a sixth vehicle driving the blue sunshine bus, without blue lights or sirens, and another colleague was driving just an ambulance car, acceptable for some jobs. We all were blocked in.

The driver in the offending vehicle suddenly became the recipient of a loud horn blast from a large ambulance behind, followed by several other horn blasts and shouting, "Come on, mate, get your finger out, we can't get out!"

When the chap in front gave us a rude hand gesture (in fun I hasten to add) the horn noises escalated significantly and short siren bursts emitted from the vehicle behind, followed by a chorus of similar blasts from the other ambulances. By this time everyone was in fits of laughter and all were making rude signs to each other with clenched fists shaking at one another.

Then someone switched on the main siren with blue lights flashing wildly. Of course this was followed by all five ambulances, making a dickens of a din.

Unfortunately all I could do to join in the party was to switch on my hazard warning lights and blast my horn whilst shouting and shaking my fists - quite feeble really.

Then someone turned on a microphone in a vehicle. A loud message boomed across the station, "Get out of the way, you silly old fart!" which elicited a sharp response from the offending vehicle, "Who the 'ell are you calling me a silly old fart! . . . .  you just come over here and say that and I'll floor you!"  "What do you mean? how dare you!".  Everyone went mad!

More loudspeakers were turned on in chorus uttering obscenities which are best left unsaid, as you may well imagine. The noise was deafening! Male adrenalin levels headed ever skyward! Inland Seagulls on the roofs around scarpered for safety! The women drivers and attendants joined in with their shrieks and they were in uncontrolable hysterics, generally siding with the chaps they liked best!

We were all falling about laughing by this time. To me it looked so comical to see all these ambulances with expressionless faces arguing and fighting with each other - with sirens and microphones at full belt and my little horn feebly attempting to join in.

Above this glorious chaos, with ever rising crescendo, a loud PA speaker sprang into action from the control desk, "What the b_ _ _ _ _ 'ell is going on out there? You! get that b _ _ _ _ _  ambulance out of the way so you can all get out . . . . and all of you b _ _ _ _ _ off and get to work! Now!"

Richard seized his opportunity to score a point shouted through his microphone,  the loudest, "I've got a bigger one than you!" I got out of my vehicle and rushed over to him in mock battle, shaking my fists and everyone joined in. We all ended up in the middle all falling about laughing.

Then as suddenly as it started  all was quiet and we resumed with the business of the day. Normality had returned.

55 comments:

  1. I enjoyed the original comments so much I am copying them over to the re-post.


    12 comments:

    Sniffles and Smiles18 April 2009 23:54
    Oh, I'm in fits of laughter...Wish I could have been there!!!! What a totally hilarious and spontaneous moment!!!! Thanks for sharing this!!!! A fantastic story!! I imagine that with all the sorry and sad circumstances that you all must deal with, it must be a bit of a relief to let some steam off, so to speak! You tell such fabulous stories! What a Wonderful Life! I'll be smiling all weekend now! Blessings to you and yours~Janine

    ReplyDelete

    lakeviewer19 April 2009 00:35
    You do tell a good one. What patience and sense of humor you all have. In the States, the fellow blocking the ambulance would have been arrested and his vehicle impounded within minutes.

    ReplyDelete

    Maggie May19 April 2009 07:26
    Well what a shinannikins! If any of you had got hurt, then there would have been plenty on standby to give first aid!
    I think any one blocking in an ambulance should be towed away!

    ReplyDelete

    Granny on the Web19 April 2009 07:34
    Boys will be boys still.

    Love Granny

    ReplyDelete

    jinksy19 April 2009 09:01
    Thirty days hath September, April, June and November - but where did March come in on the act?As there were only a few comments here, I thought it the best place to come and say HI!on this post, after reading some of your...um...meanderings?! The Zombie Chickens strike a gain...

    ReplyDelete

    david mcmahon19 April 2009 11:19
    Hope the guy who blocked everybody never needs an ambulance!

    ReplyDelete

    C. Michael Cox19 April 2009 15:28
    You, and your mates, have officially lost your marbles. :)

    As they say, laughter is the best medicine - even for the hospital staff.

    ReplyDelete

    C. Michael Cox19 April 2009 15:33
    Back again...I had to stop by and say how much I enjoy your Silly Saturday captions. You've really had some classics!

    ReplyDelete

    The Girl From Cherry Blossom Street21 April 2009 03:07
    Oh the fast and the furious bluelights!
    I'm surprised the SWAT team was not part of the scene! Where was Rambo when you needed him?

    Mr Eddie..why would we want you to look like George or Brad when Zombie Chickens look way more dashing than any other divas in vogue right now? :-)

    ReplyDelete

    Eddie Bluelights21 April 2009 22:18
    I'll take that as a compliment, Cherry, I have no alternative. LOL

    ReplyDelete

    Sarah25 April 2009 02:42
    hilarious...I can only imagine.

    On another note, is that really your daughter singing? I got chills listening to "Ave Maria."

    Beautiful.

    ReplyDelete

    Jackie28 July 2009 05:53
    I'm glad you provided a link to this. I loved it.....and I would love to have been a fly on the wall to have seen the fun you 'boys' were having. What a writer you are, Eddie...
    Smiles and a hug from Jackie

    ReplyDelete

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, I hurried over to be first...only to find out I'm last! hah`a.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What I want to know is if you ever had a vehicle tall enough so you could drive with your banana head on! haha.
      I can just see the looks on the faces of the Dial A Ride ladies if you wore that one day. haha. What a funny story...glad you call could be spontaneous and feed off each other's humor. So fun!

      Delete
    2. Hilarious wasn't it? We were in stiches and for ambulancemen and women that's saying something!

      Oh you were (and are) the first, Betsy!!
      The others are from my distant past and don't count! lol
      I'd like you to know that it is not just a banana head I was wearing - I stepped into a complete banana and somewhere I have a photo to prove it!! LOL. It might take a bit of finding! I'll have a look.
      I don't know where Jonathan put that banana outfit - it is his and he must have it somewhere!

      Delete
    3. Alright, Banana Bluelights. We'll all want to see the photo if you can find it some time. haha.

      Delete
    4. I'll keep it for another ocassion - perhaps when I am eating a banana split ice cream! hahaha!
      Did you have a nice day at the auction?

      Delete
    5. I love banana splits! :)

      The auction was nice...very small and only about 5 hours long. I didn't bring anything home with me this time!

      Delete
    6. Banana Splits would be good to put in an icebox take on a picnic by the river on a warm sunny day!

      Delete
    7. much! lol....

      no, I really can't say that since I've never had picallili! Does it taste like pickles?

      Delete
    8. I'd better not wear my banana outfit, had I? Might be a distraction!

      Delete
    9. Yes a bit like pickled onions - that sort of thing! I think you might have a sweet tooth!

      Delete
    10. Yeah, your banana outfit might make people think you're selling them! :)

      I could eat pickled onions just fine, but yes, I do love anything sweet!

      Delete
    11. Pickled onion sandwiches then! :)

      Delete
  3. A little humor in the workplace (or as in this case, a lot!) can ease the tension and lighten the load!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Eva - so good to see you!!!
      Have you reurned to BlogsVille?

      You have been highly conspicuous by your absence!
      Hugs ~ Eddie

      Delete
  4. ha. no wonder it was so fun to work there....lol...
    gotta love stories like this ...they make for fine memories....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yep, Brian - it wasa sometimes an absolute riot!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Eddie, this is hilarious!!!! I certainly think that you should wear your banana for your bus driving on Friday, that will make your 103 year old smile! Love your new header pic! Hope that you are getting sunshine there like we are today, it is glorious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Amy - enjoyed doing this one.
      I'll pop over for a cup of coffee soon!

      I don't know where my son put the banana outfit. I would get some funny looks if I drove the bus like that wouldn't I? ROFL

      Yes we are having a glorious sinshine day - I spent this morning and early afternoon helping a friend with her gardening project.

      Delete
  7. Yellow is definitely your colour :-) Fun story and great that everyone participated. It's healthy to let off steam like that. I can tell you enjoyed those years very much. I'm glad you are still able to help people now too.

    Mmmmmm... I am now thinking not only of bananas but of pickled onions too. Love them! xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh! you think I#m bananas!! LOL
      Yes - I loved working there Suzie.

      Glad you like pickled onions too! lol xo

      Delete
  8. I love your banana outfit!
    Hilarious and funny:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Gloria!!
      Glad you laughed!
      and where's my kiss?
      You gave me 4 once!! LOL

      Delete
    2. Gloria! Do you like my banana? lol

      Delete
  9. I was about to say that it was too bad nobody had a video camera, but you told the story so comically, it couldn't have possibly been any better on video than how it was imagined. Too funny.

    And that banana costume.. it's appeeling. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Hilary.
      'Appeeling' - I just love that!! Glad I did not 'slip up' when I unzipped the banana!! LOL

      Delete
    2. Yup.. then you'd have to make like a banana and split.

      Delete
    3. ROFL

      Then I'd have to join 'bananarma' - do you think they'd have me?

      Delete
    4. Lucky me! - have you seen them?
      Let's hope I don't turn green! hahaha

      Delete
    5. I have seen them.. they're a chick-quita group, aren't they? ;)

      Delete
    6. Don't know much about them Hilary other than they are gorgeous!

      Delete
  10. Nothing for me to add Eddie!
    All the banana jokes are already here....
    Enjoy your evening...
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Linda - you forgot to say I am silly . . . . or cheeky . . . . . most unlike you!! LOL
      Cheers ~ Eddie ;)

      Delete
  11. Also, I love the photo of the reservoir and lake - so beautiful. Would that be the one featured in a certain story I read? ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES! How intuitive of you! . . . . . all women are blessed with that gift!
      But, sadly I do not have a picture of the nurse! ;)

      Delete
  12. Eddie, sounds like a fun filled day. Your photos of Mother nature are lovely. That's quite the look you have going on.
    As for your question, I am not an interior designer, however I think I missed my calling....LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Linda and thank you for your most welcome visit.
      I am oresuming you are refering to the banana outfit when you commented. Shall I wear this when I invite myself over to your very posh dinner parties!! LOL . . . . . go on .. . . . you'd love it!! Hugs ~ Eddie

      Delete
  13. Yes, Linda, quite a fun filled day!
    Speak soon and yes I think you have missed your calling ~ Eddie xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well who's the lucky gal? I have given you two replies and different ones- see I am very versatile!! LOL

      Delete
  14. Sounds like a riot going on at the ambulance station! LOL And it was good to see Sniffles and Smiles commenting again! Ah, the good ole days! LOL Loved all of the banana jokes in the comments, too. Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well now look who's blessed me with her presence!! Well Lawdy bless my sanity!! LOL. Thank you Marguerite my sweet for popping in, I am afraid I have rather limited refreshments to offer! I have mo Margueritas or Bloody Mary's but maybe I can tempt you with a cup of coffee! Yes it is great to see a comment from Janine, albeit a regurgitated Sniffles and Smiles comment from the origiinal post, but I wanted to include it along with the others. Have a great weekend too! Hugs ~ Eddie
      Would you rather have me in the uniform or the banana outfit? ROFL. 50 lines if you get the answer wrong!! LOL.
      Have a great weekend too!

      Delete
  15. That banana costume would be fun to wear on Halloween with a friend in a monkey cosume.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey! Now that IS dangerous!! Don't forget I am the banana and he or she might EAT ME!! LOL.

      Delete
  16. Hi Eddie - I can imagine you had lots of escapades .. giving us all something to laugh about ... while helping so many. Wonderful camaraderie you all had ... cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes - it was like one big happy family - we all supported each other and would do anything for each other, both guys and gals. Great frends and I miss them very much! I hope to tell some more ambulance stories soon . . . . . . cheers ~ Eddie

      Delete
  17. That's great stuff, Eddie. The one thing I truly miss, since losing my office job and becoming a freelance writer, is the camaraderie. I worked with a very funny and inventive crew. Sitting here by myself most days, typing and whatnot, doesn't carry the same joie de vivre.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, Jim, I can imagine you as a fun guy enjoyng the camaraderie and banter. Do you ever see your very funny and inventive pals?
      I really miss being with my ambulance mates.

      Delete
  18. You look good in a banana outfit!
    You made a great ambulance man and it's a pity that they couldn't keep you on.
    Still, I'm sure all the experience you had will not be wasted. Who knows when it will come in handy?
    Maggie x

    Nuts in May

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This banana outfit seems to be causing a right stir!! lol
      I dare not publish the full length one! . . . . . . or dare I!?
      I did enjoy being in the Ambulance Serice but I had to retire due to my hip requiring replacement and you can't really have an amulance man with a walking stick and asking the wheelchair patients to get out and give me a push!
      I hope never have to use some of the things we were taught and most of us agreed on that! Only 6% of people can be saved using Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation. Eddie x

      Delete
  19. Go on Eddie, I dare you, publish the full length banana photo! You must have been a great loss to the Ambulance Service but you are still a great blessing to everyone that knows you, Take care, Ann xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OK Ann I will publish it - by popular demand!!! LOL
      Watch this space.
      Take care Ann and I always did know you loved me!! . . . . I appreciate your lovely words xxx (well you gave me three!)

      Delete

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