Eddie Interlude

Hi folks!

I have been very busy outside BlogLand with various tasks including year end accounts, do-lists and volunteer bus driving I have not been able to serve a Sunday Roast or post anything new. I have a few roasts in the pot and I hope some new ones are sent in soon.

I thank my great friend Jackie for sending this video to me and I loved it so much I wanted to share it with you.

I love the dentist sketch and the naughty Stork stalking a Stork LOL.

I noticed tha Alan managed to escape and I expect Steve is running away as well. LOL



Hope to free up some time soon

The Sunday Re-Roast SULDOG

Time To Interview The Old Odd Ball, Soft Ball Again

  

Welcome to my Sunday Re-Roast - another chance to meet bloggers already roasted and provide them an  opportunity to review their original answers and to reply to some new questions I ask these days.  From time to time I shall I mix these Re-Roasts with new Standard Roasts to provide a bit of variety.

This weeks interview is with Jim "Suldog" Sullivan

who writes the blog, Suldog 

A very warm welcome to you Jim and all your followers

Gosh! . . . . it's scorching on that spit! . . . and here he is folks wishing he was a Blog Of Note.
What . . . he is a Blog Of Note. Hey! Congratulations Jim.

HEY FOLKS . . . Jim's a Blog Of Note
all together . . . .  "Congratulations!"

What's that you are holding this time, Sully?  Oh! . . . . so it's a magic wand now, is it?  Give it a wave and we'll see how you answered your original roast. Oh! You're looking a little concerned! Worried it might turn into something nasty and pink? No Ladies! don't look!! Oh, crumbs!! Tell a lady not to do something and she'll do it!! Remember Lot's wife . . . and Eve and the apple? On second thoughts it's a family show so perhaps you'd better just use your imagination or memory.  Now compose yourselves!! . . . . and let's get back to the interview.

Jim's original roast was by David McMahon on 24 May 2009.  Jim will wave his magic wand and replicate it for us or if you wish to see the original and read the comments press HERE but then please return for the new stuff.

Here's the first of the standard questions. Why do you blog?

Insatiable ego. I’ve always had a very high opinion of myself, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, so I figured everybody in the world would love reading whatever I typed.

Amazingly enough, while making statements such as the above, I’ve received very little in the way of flames. The folks who comment over at my place are almost uniformly kind and complimentary. That’s very nice of them, but, if they had any brains at all, they would have figured out that I’d have dried up and blown away upon receiving even one or two nasties. They could have done the populace at large a huge favor by manning up and throwing out a few insults.

If they had done so, I would have gone to bother someone else with my next hare-brained scheme; perhaps starting my own church or acting in pornos. As it stands now, my ego has been blown up to such mammoth proportions, there’s little likelihood I’ll stop writing. That’s too bad for the world, but I’m OK with it.

What’s the story behind your blog name?

I wish there was one."Suldog" is just a nickname I picked up years ago. My last name is Sullivan. Well, almost everybody at this one place where I worked ended up being called something-dog - Charlie-dog, Dave-dog, Fitz-dog, whatever. I’m not sure how it started, but it did, and since I was already nicknamed Sully, I became Suldog. For whatever reason, it seemed to fit me
more than most, and it’s followed me around ever since. Exciting, eh?

What is the best thing about being a blogger?

Seriously? The people you meet (not that you truly "meet" too many of them, but you know what I mean.)

I’ve developed many fine virtual friendships, and had the pleasure of physically getting together with a couple of the nicer folks. There are so many interesting life stories out there in the blogging universe!

(Really, I think that everybody has an interesting life story, but some just know how to put their story into words in more entertaining ways.)

The anonymity of blogging helps some folks, of course, but I’m one of those bloggers who doesn’t give a damn if everybody knows my real name or where I live. When I write, I assume that at least one person in my audience will have done the same stupid thing I’m willing to reveal that day. From the comments I’ve received, that appears to be the case. And it also appears that those people are exceedingly glad to find out that they’re not the only ones, so I guess I’m performing a public service of sorts when I admit to past indiscretions.

Anyway, my life is an open book. I figure that if someone really wants to dig up some dirt on me, they can. Therefore, I’m happy to save them the trouble. I figure if I write about it first, nobody can ever accuse me of hypocrisy. If you criticize me about any of it, though, I’ll jump on you with both feet. Everybody has things they’ve done that fall short of perfection and I’ll carve you a new one if you seriously think you can get away with being holier-than-thou in my presence.

I don’t know if that answered the question or was just a long-winded self-serving rant, but it’ll have to do.

What key advice would you give to a newbie blogger?

Post naked photos of yourself, if you’re a woman! If you’re the shy type, and aren’t sure about this advice, feel free to send the photos to me first for an unbiased editorial critique.

Aside from that? Be yourself, whatever that may be. If you have odd quirks, bring ‘em out into the open. If you have a style with which an English professor might find fault, don’t let it keep you awake at night. It’s your blog, not the professor’s. So long as you make yourself clearly understood, it’s all good.

(Despite the above advice, though, I’d suggest that you learn to spell. Style is one thing, ignorance another. You’ll lose many readers if you don’t know how to spell the second word in this sentence.)

Above all, have fun. There are very few folks getting rich from this. I’m certainly not one of them, so if you send me ten dollars – and, perhaps, those naked photos - I’ll be glad to give you more advice.

What is the most significant blog post you’ve ever read?

It was by Magazine Man. I’ve got his link on my sidebar listed under the heading "The Best Writer On The Internet", and I’ve never been given reason to back down from that statement. He’s brilliant. There are some truly good writers out there – you among them, of course – but I have yet to read anything by him that wasn’t utterly captivating.

Anyway, his parents died in a highway accident a bit over a year ago. They were on their way to visit he and his family at the time. He had written about them both, at length, previous to the accident, showing them to be interesting and lovable people, with faults in their pasts, to be sure, but that just made them more endearing in the present. I (and his other readers) felt a relationship to these good people, via his marvelous writing, so when he posted concerning their tragic deaths, it just sucked the breath right out of me. My stomach churned almost as much as it had upon hearing of the death of some of my own loved ones. That’s how good his writing is.

(To clarify: That single post, about them dying, wasn’t his greatest piece, but as a hideous denouement to all that had preceded it, it was as powerful an emotional response as has ever been dragged out of me by a blog.)

What is the most significant blog post you’ve ever written?

A Day (Five Of Them, Actually – All Saturdays) In The Life, which is basically my life story, condensed. I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written, so if your readers go to my place, read it, and aren’t impressed? They may as well leave, since it isn’t likely they’ll find anything better if they stay.

Thanks for the opportunity to display my arrogant, ignorant, bloviating self, David. If you enjoyed reading this half as much as I did writing it, then you’re 50 per cent as happy as I was.

Well - that's what you wrote two years ago, Jim and interestingly enough you said you would answer these questions in exactly the same way today.

So - let's see what you make of the new questions.

Is there anything since your roast you are dying to tell the blogging community?

Yes, but I won't say it here. Yours is a family blog and I wouldn't want you to run afoul of the censors.

All seriousness aside, I'd like to say that I've enjoyed every moment of my interaction with my fellow bloggers. I'd like to say it, but I can't. It's been a miserable 5+ years I've been doing this, and I have come to the conclusion that I'm a self-loathing masochist.

Is anybody still reading? Oh, good. I'm glad you decided to stick around. Actually, I have some wonderful, intelligent, kind, and wholly fantastic readers. I only said the rotten stuff above to weed out the posers. Since you're still here, you're one of the good ones, and I thank you quite sincerely for making my time as a blogger a pure joy. You folks are the best!

Which two blogs would you recommend for roasting?

Well, I hate to limit it to only two, but I also don't want to copy my entire sidebar here and weigh you down, Eddie. Let me see...  My first choice of course would have been Knucklehead - He's an extremely funny man, and also quite erudite. He and I root for rival baseball teams - He, New York Yankees; I, Boston Red Sox - but, other than that, he's sane. But I see you've already roasted him.

So who else have I been reading for a long time, but hasn't already been roasted?

OK, how about these good people...

Shimp at Land Of Shimp - She writes some very funny pieces, and has one thing in common with me: she goes on and on and on. In her case she actually says something."

Buck, at Exile In Portales - A master sergeant, retired from the U.S. Air Force. Despite the reputation sergeants sometimes have for being tough birds, he's a genuinely nice guy. Of course, maybe he was a real bastard before he retired, but he's sweet as pie now.

And, for a third, how about Thimbelle, at Creeping Towards Normal? Fine writer, interesting and love-filled stories, and her family sends me fruitcake every Christmas, so the least I can do is pimp her out.

(Great, thanks for these recommendations, Jim)

Pick three things you can't live without.

The ability to express myself musically.

My main instrument is the bass guitar, but I'm somewhat proficient at drums, keyboards, six-string guitar, various percussion instruments and simple woodwinds. I can't begin to imagine how frustrated I would be if some accident befell me and I found myself unable to play any instrument at all. I let my emotions flow freely while playing. It's one of my primary emotional outlets. Sometimes, for instance, it's much easier to bang on the bass than to vent anger elsewhere.

Comedy.

I love to laugh. If you ask MY WIFE, she'll probably tell you that I'm the easiest man to make laugh in any audience of which I'm a part. Slapstick, especially, gives me joy. Anything that upsets the dignity of a stuffed shirt or a blowhard will have me rolling in the aisle gasping for breath. I adore sight gags - and the more elaborate and impossible-seeming, the better. Show me someone stepping into what appears to be a mud puddle, but then disappearing completely, only to reappear a few seconds later soaked through, muddy, spluttering and puffing his cheeks, and I'm useless for five minutes while I laugh. Anyway, make me laugh and you're my friend.

Yummy Food

I enjoy eating, a lot. I enjoy eating a lot of things. And a good meal involves not only the sense of taste, but also smell, touch, sight, and even hearing on occasion. I won't list my favorite foods, as that would take up pages and bore everyone to tears, but let's say that if I somehowng a lot of things. And a good meal involves not only the sense of taste, but also smell, touch, sight, and even hearing on occasion. I won't list my favorite foods, as that would take up pages and bore everyone to tears, but let's say that if I somehow found myself unable to enjoy food, life would become a very bleak enterprise for me.

(On the face of it, Jim, you appear to be quite normal and sane!)

If we were to make a movie about BlogLand, what would it be and who would you cast in the leading roles?

I think I would call it The Three Stooges Meet The Marx Brothers Meet Laurel and Hardy Meet Abbott and Costello Meet The Ritz Brothers Meet Wheeler and Woolsey and Clark and McCullough and Cheech and Chong, Who Carry On. The plot would be fairly much non-existent, but the laughs would be never-ending. Here's the cast listing:

Moe - Mushy
Larry - Craig
Curly - Knucklehead
Shemp - Shimp
Joe - Quirkyloon
Curly Joe - Jazz
Groucho - Cricket (or, perhaps for this role, Porcupine)
Harpo - Shrinky
Chico - Aglio, Olio, and Peperoncino
Zeppo - I'll take this one, as I appreciate him but nobody else might.
Laurel - Twinks
Hardy - Jelly (Twink's friend, and they really ARE something of a comedy team!)
Abbott - Buck
Costello - Matt Conlon
Harry Ritz - Lime
Jimmy Ritz - Michelle
Al Ritz - Hilary
Wheeler - Thimbelle
Woolsey - Magazine Man
Clark - Saz
McCullough - Moannie
Cheech - Mariann Simms
Chong - Brinkbeest
Sid James - Eddie Bluelights

I realize all of these are traditionally male roles, but I'm willing to see how the females do with them.

If anyone else wants to be in the flick, I suppose I could write parts for Burns Allen, Rowan and Martin, Fry and Laurie, The Two Ronnies, Lum and Abner, Bob and Ray, the casts of "Are You Being Served?" and "The Goon Show", and perhaps Nixon and Agnew, who may have been the most underrated comedy team of my generation.

(Jim, the mind boggles!!  . . . . such a mammoth production would surely require Cecil B De Thrill to direct, at least!   And thanks for the honour of being Sid James.  He's a comic genius!  Laughing at your casting for Chico Marx, and some others ROFL.  Hey! I didn't think you guys across the pond understood the Goon Show.)

If you could live your life again who would you be, and why?

MY WIFE. That way, I could fall in love with me and nobody would complain about me being too narcissistic (which they're no doubt doing now after reading this answer.)

(Typical Suldog cunning and logic LOL)

You have been given a wonderful talent from above. This causes you to make your mark on humanity and be world famous. In which area would prefer: a best selling novelist, a brilliant artist, a gifted musician, a fantastic singer, a charismatic leader, anything you choose, and why?

Well, since I'm already most of them, I'll choose the one thing I'm not: a best-selling novelist. But I'm not sure I actually want to be that, as it probably would be too much work. Let's just leave me being me since nobody else seems to want the job.

(Can't say I blame 'em - LOL)

If you were an ice cream cone, which flavour would you prefer and who would you most want to lick you?

I would be peppermint stick ice cream (with jimmies, of course, or perhaps you call them sprinkles) and insofar as who I'd like to lick me, I'd be satisfied with just about any, just so long as they don't bite my cone.

(Ah! you are at the grateful age as well, Jim)

Describe in one sentence your perfect day

I would be peppermint stick ice cream (with jimmies, of course, or perhaps you call them sprinkles) and everybody who wasn't tempted to bite my cone would lick me.

(Again . . . the mind boggles!)

If you were a fiction writer which one would you be and why?

What makes you think that anything I write isn't fiction?

(Thought most of it was fact, actually LOL)

What was your most embarrassing moment?

Being featured on your blog, thus far.

(Yup! I know what yer mean! but you are not the first to say it! My pet budgie did on his roast! - now carry on like this my friend and someone will give you an award and then you'll have to get your wand out again and be extremely rude to them!! LOL)

If you awoke to find you had changed gender what would be the first and second things you would do?

The first thing I'd do was play around and find out what everything felt like. The second thing I'd do - assuming that things felt nice - would be to find out just how much money I could make with my new equipment. If it turned out that things did NOT feel nice, I don't know what in hell I'd do for the second thing. Cry, perhaps.

(Think positive, man!! You have no other choice!)

Your turn to ask me a question if you wish.

(omg . . . what have I done? No doubt he's going to make a lame duck out of me yet again!)

Do you more prefer fondling waterfowl or dressing up as the Queen? What if I supplied the orange sauce?

Oops! That's more than one question, Eddie, so I suppose I've ruined my chances of getting an answer. Oh, well. I know, in your heart, you like both equally as much, no matter whether there's orange sauce or not. God bless you.

(That goes back to a post I did, long ago, in which I kidded Eddie unmercifully. He, being an extremely good sport, took it like the man that he is. In reality, Eddie neither fondles waterfowl or dresses up like Her Majesty. So far as I know, at any rate.)

May I have one more word here, Eddie? I hope those people who are just being introduced to me will send me some money, if they're men, and nude photos of themselves, if they're women. If they're neither, both. And I thank you in advance for your kind indulgence and incredulous stares. Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas indeed!  Actually I put my hand up to being late with Jim's Re-Roast so I will update his intentions and wish you all a Happy New Year on his behalf.  Now about these wretched ducks and the Queen (and he forgot to mention Stanley Holloway, didn't he?).  Well Jim, all I can say is that I have documentary evidence that you became interested in ducks from a very early age LOL, and obviously this interest has turned into an obsession.  There he is folks, playing ducks and drakes in the kitchen sink! LOL.

What's up, Jim, can't yer find yer ducks? LOL

Well that was great fun, Jim. Thanks for appearing on the show and I look forward to many more encounters with my great blogging adversary.  Lots of banter, skirmishes, duels, slanging matches, wars, apocalypses. Bring it on, man and I'll be ready for you LOL. But now you are a Blog Of Note I think you might be able to think of a different insult for me other than the ducks - so there!. No, actually folks I like Jim a lot and we are great pals. . . . . . Jim, you're a ten out of ten guy!

OK - we'll finish by having a look at Jim's Blog Page . . . and see what rubbish he is writing about me perhaps! LOL

______________________________________________

Today's Sunday Roast with Jim Suldog is the 145th

in a weekly series of interviews with bloggers from around the world ______________________________________________

This interview will feature in The Roll of Honour

for all published Roasts. To view press  HERE

________________________________________________

Please keep your recommendations for The Sunday Roast coming.
For those who would like to know a little more about it, how it started, the nuts and bolts of it etc, press HERE

Blog Land's Got Talent Awards

Hi everyone . . . . . welcome to my award ceremony called "BlogLand's Got Talent".  Today I have two awards up for grabs and the nominations are far too numerous to mention in full, plus there are several blogs who sadly no longer accept awards who otherwise would be on the rostrum - all exciting and wonderful stuff.

In August 2009 a very good bloggy pal of mine, Jackie, honoured me by creating and sending me her This Blog Kicks award. Jackie is a retired school teacher who's blog she names Teacher's Pet which is a private blog - thank you again Jackie.  I wonder - am I the teacher's pet or were you just trying to tell me I am a silly ass? LOL

There are three conditions to accepting this highly prestigious award.

1.  You answer five simple questions - these appear at the end of this post.

2. You pass the awards to at least four ot to as many fellow bloggers you wish, asking them the same questions or five of your own.

3. You accept another award as a sort of Get One, Get One Free promotion LOL.

This second award, Making Smiles On Faces, was given to me by the lovely lady with green eyes, Marguerite, at Cajun Delights. Marguerite has an excellent blog which portrays all the delights of Cajun culture, including her own wonderful recipes which are sinfully delicious, and she treats us to video clips of her favourite Cajun music to boot. But she keeps me wondering as to where she features whilst dancing on some of the videos - she loves to keep me guessing you see although I am quite convinced I had the right answer at least once LOL. Also I have to be good because if I tucked in to all her fantastic recipes I would soon resemble The Incredible Hulk. Marguerite is a good friend and has a superb sense of humour (thank God)

So without further ado I am delighted to pass on this award to the following bloggy pals.  Indeed ALL their blogs kick and they ALL put smiles on faces.  Please visit them and tell them Eddie sent you - I for one need to visit them more often.

Mrs Magpie @ The Quintessential Magpie

I had the good fortune recently to interview Sheila on my Sunday Roast column. Her roast was highly popular and her devoted readers commented in their droves, demonstrating their appreciation of Sheila's superb blog.

Marguerite @ Cajun Delights
Well, Marguerite, I cannot award you something you awarded me, so just for you please take the This Blog Kicks award PLUS either a plate of fish and chips for your forthcoming Cook Book.

uggg! . . . . sorry about all the Ketchup!

OR this one given to me by the lovely Janine at Sniffles and Smiles in April 2009
but take them both if you like.

Now please don't forget to remove the giblets! . . . . and let me pull the wishbone with you LOL.

Ken @ Grumpy Old Ken

Obviously I am not the only one to enjoy Ken's blog - he was recently awarded Blog Of Note by Google. Many congratulations Ken - very well deserved. I particularly like your monthly feature Grumpy's Alternative News.

Moannie @  The View From This End
Also recently awarded Google's Blog Of Note I send my congratulations to a dear blogging friend and fellow Total Hip Replacement recipient.  We would be great in a three legged race I think, Moannie.  Recently her blog went astray into hyperspace but we are all fortunate it was found and fully restored.

Monica @ The Creative Beast
I am fortunate to have 'met' Monica recently in Blog Land and she agreed to appear on the Sunday Roast.  She is not a beast at all but is very creative and also has a wonderful sense of humour (thank God LOL)


A lady who calls herself "I" @ Happy Frog and I
Yet another recent Blog Of Note recipient and again congratulations, and also roasted.

Maggie May @ Nuts and May
For those who don't know Maggie is my sister and she has just forgiven me for throwing her Teddy Bear out of the window when we were little. Get Sam to help you nail your trophies to your side bar.

Betsy @ My Five Men
Another very nice young lady who I roasted recently. . . . but rather greedy with all those men! LOL.

Jinksy @ Nappy Notes
Another good bloggy pal with a great blog.

Mimi @ MimiinDublin

A lovely Irish lass who plays the French Horn and also has a great blog.

Angie @ Gumbo Writer

Another Cajun lady with a great sense of humour and an awesome blog.

So now to the questions:
Please note: one word answers not acceptable. Expound your ideas/answers in a formally considered written response of at least two sentences. LOL

1.  What came first - the chicken or the egg?

2.  Which facet of blogging do you enjoy most?
a) Writing
b) Visiting
c) Commenting
d) Reading people's comments to your posts

3.  Runner beans - do they really grow clockwise round canes in the southern hemisphere and counter clockwise in the northern hemisphere - or is this a load of tosh, they grow either way wherever they are?

4. What attracts you most to the opposite gender?

a) A good sense of humour, lashings of personality, charm and lots of wit
b) He/She is loaded with dosh
c) He/She is romantic
d) He/She has a fast sports car like a Corvette
e) Good looks
f) A cheeky smile across a crowded room
g)  Neither - please specify
h)  Other - I cannot imagine an answer to this one!!

(Please note you cannot choose ALL because he/she does not exist! but if you choose a) I will gladly email you my telephone number LOL)

5. What New Year's resolution did you make?

. . . . . . and
a penalty question to Marguerite, split into two halves!

6.  a) Have you written your roast yet?
b)  If not are you still on question 1 after 18 months? LOL

Can I bribe you to complete it with yet another award?

These questions, except question 6, are also open to ALL readers so please let me have your answers and my special prize is a free invitation to appear on my Sunday Roast interview.  Book early to avoid the New Year rush.

I hope you enjoyed your Christmas festivities and 2011 is exceptionally kind to you in every possible way.

Finally, I am starting the Sunday Roast again week end commencing 23 January.  My first will be a Re-Roast of Jim Suldog which should be great fun.

BE THERE!!!!
LOL

The Red Baron, A Christmas Party and Merry Christmas To You All

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

It's the day of the party at our 'Dial-a-Ride'

We're treating the old folk this Christmastide
Three minibuses, including this one
Ferried passengers to HQ to have fun.

The weather was bitter, the wind blew and blew
But we soldiered on as the numbers just grew
On roads we skidded and round corners we did slide
But we managed our pick ups where 'ere they reside.

Yer can see Eddie wrapped up in a Bobble Hatter
With scarf  and warm coat as his teeth started to chatter.
The Red Baron bus started with loud engine noise
To pick up the old ladies and a few elderly boys.

Along icy roads just covered with snow
We had to be careful and allow time to slow.
Each bus had been skidding and sliding all week
Not the place to be if you're kind of meek!

Down one of the roads Eddie's bus became stuck
"Hell's teeth!" muttered Eddie, "just my luck!
I've got nine old ladies - I must get to the top
If I cannot do this they will all have a strop!"

"We'll jump up and down", said one, "try again!"
"Nay, please stay seated and with such notions refrain!"
"I'm 94!" was a lady's reaction
"You must think of how you can get some more traction!"

Said another, "Come on lad! we'll get out and push!
There's no other way to the top in this slush!"
Said another, "This is all exciting to me!
I've not had such fun since I was three!"

Eddie reversed down the hill in his little red bus
And charged from a car park without further fuss.
"Come on!" they all all shouted as they neared the top,
"The wheels are spinning and we think bus will stop!"

But Eddie put his right foot hard on the floor
As the engine revved faster and the noise was a roar.
Inch by inch they progressed climbing higher and higher
Until they got grip on the road with each tyre.

"Well done, Eddie!" the old ladies screamed
With delight on their faces and a smile to him beamed.
"One more to collect . . . a fellow called Eddie!"
"Not another!" laughed a lady, "for two we're not ready!"

We reached the pick up and had a surprise
A lady was waiting . . . was she in disguise?
"I'm a little confused I was expecting a man
My run sheet says Eddie . . . maybe a fault with the plan!"

"I've been called Eddie since ONE NINE FORTY FOUR
It's entirely true you have the correct score!
Now tell me my good man, what is your name?"
Said Eddie laughing, "It is exactly the same!"

"My name too is Eddie and since I was born
In ONE NINE FOUR FOUR that name I have worn!"
The two of them laughed as her seat belt was secured
And so to the party the bus load endured.

A good time was had with lots of mince pies
Good conversation and presents surprise.
The time went by quickly and the party was ended
So time to board buses and home journeys wended.

But on the way home we saw some of the sights
Of local houses adorned with bright Christmas lights.
There seems many people who like decorations
With seasonal flavour with their creations!

This was my last day at the Dial-a-Ride and many of my passenger friends are a little upset because we have grown to know and like one another. It was a pleasure to drive them, assist them onto and off the bus, carry their shopping and make their lives a little happier. They enjoyed having a little laugh on ocassions and to have someone there to whom they could have a little rant now and then.  I remember having trouble sometimes trying to get their seat belts fastened - some ladies were a little large and fortunately I had an extension seatbelt for such ocassions which caused a few laughs.  I am continuing on a voluntary basis for a while for two days a week.

Well I promised a new ending to Macbeth - I'm still working on it - the projects I give myself! LOL

I am very conscious I have not visited many of my blogging friends for a long time - I am a very busy dude these days and I do apologise for my absence - not sure whether I really do have sufficient time for blogging - real life does get in the way unfortunately.

I'll get the Sunday Roasts going again in the new year.

During my bus travels I found this little pony in a farm along a Lane called World's End Lane. LOL. The farm was at the end of the road and I had difficulty turning the bus round LOL

All together, "Ahhhhhh! . . . .isn't she lovely!"

"Cheers folks . . . . . down the hatch"

Like the graphic? - A little birdie sent it to me LOL . . . . Thanks.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year

Finally, I'm feeling a little pleased today because one of my poems has been published in a magazine, New Forest NCT News for their Winter edition. The piece, a little naughty, is about the Cerne Abbas Giant
Some may remember it.

The Worst Macbeth and an imminent New Ending - watch this space!!

This post is inspired by an article I read in Stephen Pile's humorous book entitled "The Book Of Heroic Failures". This wonderful book, every toilet should have one, scorns success and promotes failures; the worst the better.  The book is compiled from a collection of glorious flops from a group of wonderful failures in "The Official Handbook Of The Not Terribly Good Club Of Great Britain".
In particular I was amused by the account of The Worst Macbeth ever when actor William McGonagall appeared for the first time on stage . . . . as Macbeth. He was an extremely popular choice and received tumultuous applause and a standing ovation from his many admiring friends in the audience upon uttering his first line, "So foul and fair a day I have not seen".  Whenever he spoke cheers and roars of approval abounded all through the play. The highlight came in the final scene, making the other actors playing main parts furious. Macduff is supposed to kill Macbeth in a sword fight and then hold his head aloft to celebrate his victory over the evil tyrant. Unwisely the actor playing Macduff, still seething, told McGonagall to 'cut it short'. Suspecting this actor was jealous of the acclaim he was receiving, McGonagall refused to die and fought on. A new ending to Macbeth seemed imminent.  The protracted fight had the audience spellbound and screaming encouragement and one old gentleman shouted out, "Well done McGonagall! Walk into him!  And so he did until Macduff, gasping for breath, cried out, "Fool! why don't you fall . . . . die, man, die?" Eventually McGonagall reluctantly succumbed to a roar of boos and the unanimous cry was, "McGonagall! McGonagall! Bring him out!" Before the play had ended McGonagall duly obliged and rose from the dead, walked out to the audience to screams of laughter and received yet another standing ovation with people yelling, "Encore! Encore!". He then asked if they wished to see him die again. The performance was hailed as a glorious failure, never again to be equalled.

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Well you all know me by now - this is all like a red rag to a bull. This got me wondering what might have happened if Macbeth indeed refused to die and so I have penned a new ending to this famous tragedy, making it into a Shakespearean comedy LOL. I shall publish next week - and . . . . . . there is a surprise ghost appearing. Watch this space.

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I am taking a short break from The Sunday Roast because there are so many in progress and I require some more completed ones.

Also it is Mrs Bluelights' 60th birthday and we are organising and celebrating - so I am eating a roast myself instead of posting one.

The Sunday Roast

Watch Out Folks!  There's An Unleashed Creative Beast About!

   Well here's a 'song and dance' gal wearing a cocktail hat she designed and made.  Beneath her blog name she adds, "a place where creativity is unleashed and celebrated."
This week I am introducing a young lady with a truly great sense of humour. I think you all know I love a gal who laughs at my jokes!! LOL. Now with a Blogname like The Creative Beast I was half expecting a logo something like this:

But forget my vivid imagination - time to stick to the facts, Eddie!
I am sure many will recognise this lady's commenting logo of a crafty girl:

 Yes, this week's interview is with Monica
who writes the blog, The Creative Beast
Thank you for the interview, Monica

A very warm welcome to you and your followers
 

Says Monica, "I love creating! costumes, knitting, collage, sewing, jewelry, and dolls...not to mention dancing, writing and performance art...creating brings joy into my life and to others when they receive my hand-crafted goods or watch my performance art/storytelling."  In this photograph Monica is modelling some of her original knitted goods (pink scarf and mitts).

And so to the roast interview.

Here's the first of the standard questions. Why do you blog?

That is a really good question Eddie! I know when I began I was just eager to jump into the pool of all the amazing bloggers that abound in the Blogsphere and not just sit on the sidelines watching all the fun. I had been reading blogs for nearly two years before I jumped in! Now I see my blog as many things, so I have many reasons for blogging:

• It's a way to connect with other creative beasts =-)
• It's a way to lend support and encouragement to folks just starting their creative journey and I LOVE to encourage others!
• Most especially, its a way to document the artistic aspect of my life...

I always wanted to be one of those people who write in journals but I just couldn't get into it! The idea of writing into a journal book didn't really work for me. I see now that it's best for me to be able to share my experience with others - maybe it's that performance part of me that plays to the audience! (I'm a dancer and performance artist when time allows) Also, I think blogs are better than journals since you can add images of all kinds, of work in progress or moments in life, in a way you can't always document in a book journal - it seems like a living, breathing thing, a 3-dimensional journal, in a way...

Also, my blog is a way for me to hone my storytelling skills and I've shared one of my favorite stories on my blog about my Wise Woman, the doll she inspired and the stranger who came looking for me when she received one of my handmade Wise Woman dolls. I hope to share more stories like that as they unfold...

(You can find the four "chapters" of the Wise Woman Doll story in the sidebar of my blog)

(A multitude of reasons for blogging if ever I saw them)
 

What's the story behind your blog name?

One day, many years ago, I was speaking with a co-worker and telling him about all my creative projects I was working on. I'm sure I was still studying fashion design and pattern drafting, in addition to making myself a costume for our local Renaissance Faire, making a gift for someone, sewing some new clothes, knitting a doll sweater or making some jewelry, rehearsing for a dance performance and he stopped me in my tracks when he said:

"You are just a Creative Beast, aren't you?!"

I knew in that moment that I really WAS a Creative Beast and I would use the name for a future business of my creations. Little did I know it would be the name of a blog first...You know, I'm actually surprised he wasn't exhausted after my list of creativity - I know I would be!! ;)

I think the name fits for me in many ways because some days being creative can be beastly when your materials are not cooperating with your ideas; also, being an artist in a society that does not really value artists is pretty beastly as well...but mostly, I think it fits because there is a LOT of unleashed creativity in my home and it looks it! LOL!

(Unleashed creativity shortly to abound folks!  Loved the reasons Monica)
 

What is the best thing about being a blogger?


Hands down, the community of art bloggers and the support that has come from that community. There is a LOT of amazing work being created in so many ways and I am REALLY glad to be a part of that...If I didn't have that, I don't know what I'd be doing now, probably losing my marbles and roaming around homeless in LA talking to myself, hee, hee!

What key advice would you give to a newbie blogger?

JUST DO IT! Seriously, don't worry about being perfect in the beginning because you and your blog will evolve as you learn and grow...besides, perfection is BORING!! ;)

(Yes, there are no hard and fast rules - just dive in LOL)

 

What is the most significant blog post you've ever read?

It took me awhile to think about this question because there are SO MANY meaningful blog posts I've read in the many years of reading blogs, but I have to say the one post that has had a huge impact on me is written by Patti Digh titled "Forever hold your penguin dear - In memory of Meta" and it was incredibly powerful the first time I read it and it still affects me when I read it again. She re-posts it every year on the anniversary of the death of a young woman named Meta...The post was amazing in the way the family took care of Meta to help her pass from this life into the next one and I remember thinking: "Yes, this is exactly how it should be, but often isn't, sadly"...

I know that many people don't like to think about Death, but I was born under the sign of Scorpio and it's something we tend to ponder OFTEN, along with what the afterlife looks like...Patti's post about the passing of Meta and the courage of her family facing every step of preparing her for the transition is moving and powerful beyond words.

(Okay, may I say right now that I REALLY love Patti's writing and I'm SO lucky to have my artwork published in her TWO recent books of this year!!)

You know Eddie, I think many of us are curious about what happens to us after we pass away and lately I've been reading the blog of a friend who began to write about her experiences with messages she receives from her boyfriend who died in a car accident - it's very thoughtful and rather comforting to know that loved ones are nearby watching over us, though we may not always see them...

(BTW, if you want to see a profile of a Scorpio figure in action, I highly recommend watching "All That Jazz" by Bob Fosse, who was fascinated by the aspect of Death, and of Sex, two favorite Scorpion topics...and there's fabulous dancing!!)

What is the most significant blog post you've ever written?

I'm not sure I've written it yet, Eddie!!

I can think of one post that got people thinking:

"Some family history and a giveaway" - I wrote about a family ancestor that I take after and I had folks comment about their family members that they received a legacy from - it got many of them thinking and sharing some really wonderful stories of family histories of creativity!

I do have topics in mind to write about in the future and I hope that my readers will find them helpful - I'll let you know how they go when they've been written, Eddie!

Which two blogs would you recommend for roasting?

ONLY TWO??!?!?

(Oh sorry! I know you ladies have great difficulty counting to two LOL. Oh go on then as many as you like LOL)

But I read so many blogs I can't just narrow it down to TWO!!! But since you ask, here are a few of my favorite blogs:

Tinniegirl - I met her through the group site for the Artful Journey Retreat I attended last year and she hosts the awesome Blogtoberfest for the last three years; she's got great art and a great way with sharing the story of her journey as an artist
I Speak Melsh - I met her through Blogland during last years Blogtoberfest - she has a great eye for color and layout (in scrapbooking), great foodie photos and  a wonderful sense of humor!
Cul*ti*vate - an Artful Journey sister with fabulous photography and a sweet spirit
I Saw You Dancing - she is a great writer, as she begins to explore her artistry and the in's and out's of motherhood
Do What You Love - another Artful Journey sister who has had an abundance of travel in her life and amazing stories from all that traveling to foreign lands
Her Painted Word - yet another Artful Journey sister who has been writing an amazing book about her family and is working toward her first solo art exhibit coming next year...

This list could go on forever Eddie!!

(Thanks for those recommendations, Monica)

 

That concludes the formal aspect of the interview but it would be nice to get to know you a little better while you are slowly turning on the roasting spit.  So while you are screaming in agony above the open fire here are a few more questions for you.

Pick three things you can't live without.

1) My dear boyfriend - he gives great backrubs and has a wonderful sense of humor
2) My girlfriends - because sometimes my sweetie can drive me nuts!! And my girlfriends always remind me of who I am when I forget myself ;)
3) My art supplies!

If we were to make a movie about BlogLand, what would it be and who would you cast in the leading roles?

YAY! After living in LA, so close to Hollywood and Movie-land I have the opportunity to write up a movie I'd LOVE to see that features amazing women...

It would definitely be about women artists, many of them finding their voices and a few matriarchs that have always been artists and they will all converge at a fabulous retreat to make art for a special fundraiser to help more women find their voices. It would star Nina Bagley and Patti Digh as two of the matriarchs, and the women I listed on my list of blogs to read as the younger artists.

I would include a fun scene to have a group of the women put on a 'show number' using the song "That's What Friends Are For" from The Jungle Book - it's definitely a movie about friendship and community!
(Oh! . . . . no starring role for me then!)

If you could live your life again who would you be, and why?

Hmmm, could I go back in time and be somebody else??!? There are so many amazing women in history I would love to live as - Nellie Bly for instance. She is the grandmother of investigative journalism - she posed as an insane patient to get into an asylum and managed to get more funding on their behalf when she reported the appalling conditions they were living in...she really put her own life in danger to get a story and she used the story to help others.

(Aww . . . . I think you are very nice as you are)

You have been given a wonderful talent from above.  This causes you to make your mark on humanity and be world famous. In which area would prefer: a best selling novelist, a brilliant artist, a gifted musician, a fantastic singer, a charismatic leader, anything you choose, and why?
 
I'd be just what I am now - A Creative Beast encouraging others in their own creativity by producing brilliant art!!

Though it might be cool to be a gifted musician - music is amazing and powerful and I love listening and dancing to so many types of it =-)

If you were an ice cream cone, which flavour would you prefer and who would you most want to lick you?

LOL!! You are a naughty boy Eddie!! I HAVE to let the Scorpio in me answer this one!!

If I was an ice cream it would be coffee flavor with chocolate syrup and toffee chunks (I think there is already an ice cream like this!) and I would be happy with ANY of these fellows licking me...as an ice cream of course! ;)

Gael Garcia Bernal (actor)
Hugh Dancy (actor)
Colin Firth (actor)

I don't know if my dear boyfriend is reading this but since I know who his celebrity hottie is, it's fair for me to admit to some of mine!! hee, hee!

(Oh in that case you'd better add to your list . . . . Eddie Bluelights (ex ambulance man/blogger/roast host) LOL)

Describe in one sentence your perfect day.
 
I'm not sure I can do this in ONE sentence, but I'll try!

(None of you gals can LOL)

A perfect day would include making art, spending time with friends either making more art or shopping for great ideas; it would include some form of movement such as a long walk among trees, a bicycle ride or a dance class and end with one of my favorite meals either made by my dear boyfriend (who likes to cook!) or at one of our favorite restaurants. That would be a perfect day indeed!

If you were a fiction writer which one would you be and why?

I love Patti Digh but she already exists and there can't be TWO Patti's in the world...Or can there?!? ;)
I think I'd like to be Louisa May Alcott - I wonder what it was like to live as a female in a household with progressive parents during a time when women's roles in society were constricted. I know it must have shaped who she became immensely...not to mention the fact that she was writing juvenile literature while also writing what she called her "blood and thunder" stories, now known as Gothic romances - talk about living (writing?!) a double life!
 

What was your most embarrassing moment?

Back in high school, our dance teacher had us choreograph a dance to a song of our choice and while I was performing for my classmates, I got so excited with the music, I overshot a move, slipped and landed right on my arse!! I did jump right back up and keep going, but for a dancer falling flat on the floor is really embarrassing! I've since learned that "the floor is your friend" and I often incorporate dance moves that consist of me 'falling' to the floor =-)

(Was it a hard or soft landing, I wonder?)

. . . . and if you are really brave . . . . 

If you awoke to find you had changed gender what would be the first and second things you would do?

Hmmm, I know my first reaction would be to scream but then again, it might be refreshing to have really short hair for awhile or maybe even a buzz cut!! And to wear nice shirts without having to worry about buttons pulling and popping off due to large breasts...having a body-type like Brad Pitt would be great - he has a figure that can wear just about anything! I don't need his face, just his body type ;)

Not shaving the legs could be a time-saver, though I'd probably have to shave the face...WOW! I'd be able to make more money compared to women! That would be AWESOME!!!

I guess I'd cry though because I do love being a woman, even if I only make .75 to every dollar earned by a man =-\

(Can't have you crying, can we? . . . . so I'm afraid it's back to 0.75 to every dollar, er . . . large assets and no Brad Pitt body!)

This was a fun interview Eddie!! Thank you so much for inviting me to be 'roasted' - I feel quite toasty and warm now! ;)

Your turn to ask me a question if you wish.

Well Eddie, as you may or may not know, I do believe that EVERYONE is creative though it may not always take the form of art. So my question for you is "How do YOU express your creative life?" Aside from blogging that is!

The short answer is, Monica, I don't  . . . . . for have not yet found an avenue.  Within the blogging world I do a lot of creative writing, as many will know, and this allows me to let loose my weird imagination. There are various examples like a Blogger's Horse Race, A skit on Pride and Prejudice, Mickey the Budgie stories etc.  So this has led me to embark on a Comprehensive Writing Course which I had hoped to start when I retired from ambulance duties.  Ultimately I would like to write short stories for magazines, radio and television.  Perhaps some day I might turn into a creative beast! I have lots of ideas but time to do it remains a problem, what with endless do lists from Mrs Bluelights and driving the minibus for a while and doing other things.  Why are there just 24 hours in a day?

Well. we have reached the end of a very enjoyable roast. Thank you for your interview, Monica, and keep creating!! Mrs Bluelights for one does LOL

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Today's Sunday Roast with The Creative Beast is the 144th

in a weekly series of interviews with bloggers from around the world.
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This interview will feature in The Roll of Honour

for all published Roasts. To view press  HERE

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Please keep your recommendations for The Sunday Roast coming.
For those who would like to know a little more about it, how it started, the nuts and bolts of it etc, press HERE

How To Remove Your Underpants Without Removing Your Trousers

I apologise for my recent lack of posts, other than Sunday Roasts of course. I have been extremely busy driving a red mini bus, nicknamed The Red Baron, three days a week for Dial-a-Ride at the local council. You may call me Eddie von Richthofen Bluelights.  My passengers are mainly little old ladies, picked up from home to the shops, Health Centres, Hairdressers etc. . . . . and to return them safely home, helping them with their shopping and on and off the bus etc.  Love the work but alas I shall soon finish because the council has run out of money - a common occurrence these days with cuts in government spending.  Shame for little old ladies who all love me of course and for me too because I love them and doing the work and helping them.



Anyway, I have an unusual post for you today - I feel it is something you just cannot wait to discover and try yourselves (joking of course!).  It is designed principally for the menfolk but you ladies too can join in if you pinch a pair of hubby's underpants and trousers whilst he is not looking!! Shhh! whilst he is asleep in his chair, pretending to be watching the TV, have a quiet practice and then when you have perfected the craft say, "Oi! bet you can't do this!"

"What?"

"Take underpants off without trousers being removed!"

"Yer joking! . . . Golly! . . . . go on then  . . . . . thought it was impossible . . . . show me!"

If yer haven't got a hubby or he is out at the 'boozer' you'll just have to use your charm or beg, steal or borrow some underpants and trousers LOL.

Unfortunately, regarding this miraculous trick, this particular pleasure in life has been denied to me because now I am the proud owner of an artificial hip joint and there is no way I could do this without dislocating my entire left leg, which might fall off.  I don't like cheating because if my entire left leg did fall off then I could do this easily. So I'll abstain - that's my story and I'm sticking to it LOL.

This trick may not be quite as dazzling an escape as from a straight jacket, suspended by a flaming rope over a lion's den, but it's a lot safer and, with practice, can be an excellent party feature.  The key to success is elasticity, so stretchy pants are best.  The cotton shorts type are hopeless and my own laboratory experiments reveal that those with a Y at the front are the ones to go for.

Rules:
You are allowed to bend your body and to stretch or twist your underpants. But tearing holes in any of your clothes is strictly forbidden. You can increase your chances of success by wearing loose trousers and pants but only one size up from normal - otherwise you shall be disqualified as a cheat.

Methodology:
1.  Begin by standing upright with legs slightly apart in the military Stand At Ease position.
2.  Placing the index and second fingers of the right hand inside the seam of the left inside leg , drag the trouser leg up with the help of the left hand, as far as it will go, exposing your bare thigh.
3.  Reach up inside the trouser leg until you can pinch the material of your underpants between your index and second fingers.  If you're struggling here, be of good cheer, for by pushing your left arm down the waistband of your trousers you can help things along.
4.  Grasping the underpants with the first two fingers of your right hand, pull firmly on the material until the waistband slips over your left hip (under your trousers) and the left leg hole of your pants appears outside the trouser leg. If you hear a nasty tearing noise, you break wind or lose your balance and fall over at this stage I am sorry. Also please refrain from answering the front door if the bell rings at this crucial stage - not a pretty sight!
5.  Pull the leg hole and waistband down over the bent left knee and secure your pants there for a moment while you take a breather.  If you are 'panting' then you are not very fit.
6.  Keeping the left leg bent, pull the pants over your foot and slip it out of the left leg hole and waistband.  Release the material so that the pants spring back up inside your trousers.  Be careful that the tense elastic does not cause your pants to fly up so fast that your 'pride and joy' is injured (if you are a male of course - I should hate to be the indirect cause of ruining anyone's marital prospects).
7.  It should be plain sailing from here.  By reaching up inside the right trouser leg, you should be able to grasp the material of your pants and simply slide them down your leg and off your foot with a flourish.  Job done! If the front door bell rings in all probability it is the men in white coats calling to take you away.

It is possible to put your underpants back on by reversing the sequence of moves.  Or you could just do it in the normal way, like an ordinary human being.

So now you know. It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Getting one's knickers in a twist".



When I finally get some more time I am planning to do some more Freddie Bluelights analyses on why men's and women's brains work differently and the consequences.  These will be as sequels to those studies already done.


I must do the conclusion of the Eddie's feet saga - remember the Grim Reaper was threatening a hostile takeover of Eddie.  How did Eddie deal with that?  . . . . watch this space!

Plus, one fine day I will revive The Wizard Of Oz . . . . a big ask at the moment.


Talking of rattling - my teeth are!!  It's so cold here in UK and I am told in Scotland temperatures are forecast to drop to -20 degrees C.  Not nearly as bad as that here in Southern England around Bristol. I sympathise with the animals that hibernate and if I could I would. I feel I should put on some long Johns, a pullover, a night cap, some socks and go to bed with only my nose showing above the duvet. Good night!  . . . . . . "Zzzzzzzzzzz"