News Scoop! - Bigfoot Found In UK Snow Storm

I have a HUGE news scoop for everyone - spread the word quickly - and of course I exclusive world wide rights.

(Bigfoot - Artist's Impression)

The newspapers will soon be full of it, with typical headlines and features like this:

Evidence At Last - Bigfoot Exists !

Britain is at a standstill. Depleted stocks of grit and rock salt make it impossible to keep road arteries open. Trains are have ground to a halt. Aircraft are grounded. All schools are closed. Factories and Offices have told employees to stay at home. The roads are empty except for broken down vehicles strewn all over the place. People dare not venture out of their houses for fear of slipping on pavements, thus falling base over apex. Shops are running out of supplies. Domestic fridges and freezers are running low. Where will it end and how much longer will this global cooling affect this small and once mighty empire upon which the sun never set?

Last night Gordon Brown called an urgent cabinet meeting to discuss this latest crisis and utter chaos and reluctantly he has formally announced the UK is officially paralyzed and asleep, deep in hibernation.

Yet amongst this chaos strange footprints have appeared in the snow causing huge excitement amongst some highly imaginative scientists. Some are convinced these extreme weather conditions have brought a rare animal out into the open and revealed strong evidence at long last which proves the existence of Abominable Snowmen. For so long this being has been the figment of man's imagination. Other names for this mythical being are Yeti or Bigfoot, as Americans prefer to call them. To date no-one has ever seen one alive but today one keen photographer is convinced he has captured evidence of a series of footprints on film. He swears these footprints, as seen on the first photo, are genuine evidence a large creature, alive and well. Experts agree these Bigfoot foot prints must have been made this morning and therefore it's existence is authentic.

Experts unanimously deduce the being could be wearing size 12 Ambulance Boots and the creature must be enormously strong and heavy to impress the ground like that. For a while they were highly confused by the round hole appearing regularly beside the foot prints. They scratched their heads all morning before brilliantly deducing that the creature might have an ailing hip and the little round hole in the snow is clearly evidence of a walking stick, proving these beings are highly intelligent and not ogres at all.

Further evidence revealed that these creatures love to play in the snow and make very large snowballs. Someone phoned the news desk to report eight of them laughing and yelling their heads off whilst pushing a heavy and growing snowball down a hill and round a field until the snowball ended up a whopping 6 feet tall. He said they worked well together, talked to each other and obviously were enormously strong, beating their breasts whilst making loud Tarzan noises, thus causing all the local cats and dogs to run for their lives. A passing photographer took this shot and for the first time he captured on film a Yeti playing 'peep-ho' and then quickly ducking behind the snowball amongst his hiding friends, proving they are very friendly yet extremely shy.Notice the bottom of his head - shame he moved so quickly before a more detailed photo could be taken. They disliked any further attempts by our photographer and made rude gestures at him with threatening growls of "Get lost!" when he attempted do do so.

Our roving reporter followed the footprints with the walking stick snow prints for half a mile to this house near Bristol where authorities are convinced at least one or maybe a family of Abominable Snowmen live. They postulate that the last time these beings ventured out into the open was 20 years ago when it last snowed and then they were reputed to have built a large snowman.

Notice the footprints leading up to the door but beware he could be very dangerous and might hit you with his walking stick.

Officials were delighted to see this being is very canny and able to drive a car and there are vague reports that recently one was able to drive an ambulance.

What a scoop this is - we expect world wide cover for this story as the news breaks.

Its OK folks - I have only been drinking coffee! LOL

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Extract from The Washington Post, next morning

Exceptionally high drama of phantom Yetii (plural you will note) of yesterday where adult Abominable Snowmen are alleged to have played snowballs with local inhabitants in a small town near Bristol, UK, has caused absolute chaos at daybreak this morning. The area is inundated with police, FBI, MI5, frantic newspaper journalists and TV crews, all jostling for key positions and hoping to gain more information of this huge news story, currently gripping the whole world.

Several questions on everyone's mind are surely, "Is it true - does Bigfoot really exist? Does he look like a polar bear?

(Notice the wink)

. . . . or is he humanoid?

. . . . . and if so has he big feet and does he wear large size 12 Ambulance Boots?

No-one appears to be able to get a satisfactory answer for it seems as though the 'being' inside his house has gone to ground and is asleep, or maybe refuses to answer the door.

Suddenly, there was a huge commotion as two androids appeared and walked round the house as bold as brass. Cameras clicked and flashed by the score. They had all got their front page photos for here was son on Bigfoot and one of his friends, two of the eight responsible for the snowball fiasco of the previous day.

What a HOAX