QUOTATIONS TO BRIGHTEN ANY WEEKEND -8-

More Quotations

Another Weekend - already!

ABC Wednesday link
theme - E is for Entertaining Quotations

I'm including some gaffs at the end.

 . . . . and we start with the much debated topic, marriage:


Marriage: A community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making two in all.
(Ambrose Bierce)

Marriage:  A romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
(Anonymous)
He is too chicken to own up

Marriage: Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
(Joey Adams)

Marriage: Marriage is like a cage: one sees birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out.
(Michel de Montaigne, French writer, 1533-1592)

Memoirs:  When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad things you did do - that's memoirs.
(Will Rogers, 20th century US comedian)

Monogamy:  An obsolete word meaning a fidelity complex.
(J.B. Morton)

Moral Indignation: Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
(H.G.Wells)

Nation: is a society united by a delusion about its ancestry and by a common hatred of its neighbours.
(Dean Inge, dean of St Paul's, London 1911-34)

Opera: Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back instead of bleeding, he sings.
(Ed Gardner, 20th century US comedian)

Optimist: An optimist is a guy who has never had much experience.
(Don Marquis, 20th century US satirist)

Optimist: An optimist is always broke.
(Kin Hubbard)

Optimist: A man who is treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.
(Walter Winchell)

Originality:  Originality is the fine art of remembering what you can hear and forgetting where you heard it.
(Laurence Peter, 20th century Canadian writer)

Pessimist: A pessimist is someone who, if he is in the bath, will not get out to answer the phone.
(Quentin Crisp)

Pessimist: The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole.
(Anonymous)



Now some bloomers, or bloopers:

'If' is a very large preposition. - John Major

I deny the allegations and defy the alligators! - Indicted Chicago Alderman

It's a conflict of parallels. - Alex Ferguson

I couldn't fail to agree with you less. - Fran O'Shea

That football tie is a potential potato skin. - Alan Hansen

I answer in the affirmative with an emphatic 'No'  - Sir Richard Roche

You know what they say, don't get mad, get angry. - Edwina Currie

I drink like a chimney. - Alex Ferguson

I think they have misunderestimated me. - George W. Bush

When I was young and irresponsible, I was young and irresponsible - George W Bush

(Gosh where does he get them?)




More next week
Enjoy your weekend