QUOTATIONS TO BRIGHTEN ANY WEEKEND -9-

Happy Weekend Folks

I'll have some more Alternative Meanings for you next week, but I thought we would have a change this week and look at some:

Hilarious Epitaphs

(Yes, I remember that well in 2002 - what a character Spike was)

An anonymous punster commemorated Dr John Potter, Archbishop of Canterbury:

Alack and well a-day

Potter himself is turned to clay.

Lord Byron savaged prime minister William Pitt the Younger, who is buried in Westminster Abbey:

With death doomed to grapple

Beneath this cold slab, he

Who lied in the chapel

Now lies in the Abbey.

The 'Welsh Wizard', David Lloyd George, suggested as epitaph for himself that might have been adopted by many other politicians:

Count not my broken pledges as a crime. 

I MEANT them, HOW I meant them at the time.

Wisecracking American writer Dorothy Parker proposed this simple tombstone inscription for herself:

Excuse my dust.

Dorothy Parker, suggested that this should be carved on an actress's tombstone:

Her name, cut clear upon this marble cross,
Shines, as it shone when she was still on earth,
While tenderly the mild, agreeable moss,
Obscures the figures of her date of birth.

Hilaire Belloc wrote of himself with the cheerful vanity of an author:

When I am dead, I hope it may be said

'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.'

John Gay, author of The Beggar's Opera, composed his own epitaph:

Life is a jest, and all things show it.

I thought so once; but now I know it.


The journalist, George Augustus Sala dealt a cruel posthumous blow to a colleague, John Camden Hotten:

Begotten
Hotten
Rotten
Forgotten


William Blake, eccentric poet and painter, detested everything his highly successful fellow artist, Sir Joshua Reynolds, stood for, hence the verse:

When Sir Joshua Reynolds died
All Nature was degraded;
The King dropped a tear in the Queen's ear,
And all the pictures faded.


. . . . and now a few more embarrassing gaffs from those who should have know better:

Mr Milosevic has to be careful.
The calendar is ticking - Richard Haas

A zebra doesn't change its spots - Al Gore

The crowd gave the players an arousing reception - Packie Bonner

I have a thermometer in my mouth and I'm listening to it all the time - Willie Whitelaw

I'm absolutely thrilled and over the world about it - Tessa Sanderson

We'll be heading for the deepening heights of recession - Economics spokesman

I would like to than the press from the heart of my bottom - Nick Faldo 


More next week

parting shot:


What message would you like on your tombstone?

Pat says: "I'll be coming to haunt you soon!" . . . . . . lol

. . . and Shadow says: "I'm never going to die!"