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Saturday, 26 July 2014

QUOTATIONS TO BRIGHTEN ANY WEEKEND -5-




For a change I have a slightly different 'take' on quotations this week, in the form of a dictionary of alternative meanings, and who quoted them.  


Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
(Ambrose Bierce, US author)

Actor: An actor is a guy who if you ain't talking about him, he ain't listening. 
(Marlon Brando)

Armour: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.  
(Ambrose Bierce)

Atheist:  An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. 
(John Buchan)

Baby:  A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. 
(Father Ronald Knox, English author)

Bachelor: A man who never makes the same mistake once. 
(Ed Wynn, 20th century US comedian)

Bank: A bank is where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and asks for it back when it begins to rain. 
(Robert Frost, US Poet)

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. 
(Bob Hope)

Bigamist: A man who marries a beautiful girl and a good cook. 
(Chicago Herald-American)

Bore: A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you. 
(Bert Leston Taylor, US writer)

A bore is a person who talks when you wish him to listen (Ambrose Bierce)

Brain: The apparatus with which we think we think. (Ambrose Bierce)

Breeding: Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. 
(Mark Twain)

Calamity: Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. 
(Ambrose Bierce)

Cannibal: A guy who does into a restaurant and orders the waiter. 
(Jack Benny)

Caricature: Caricature is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius. 
(Oscar Wilde)

Celebrity: A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. 
(Fred Allen, US comedian)

Classic: A classic is something that everybody wants to have you read and nobody wants to read. 
(Mark Twain)


 * * * More next week * * *

Please keep your quotations coming to my email:





Also tune in to Eva for some more of her  Weekend Silliness laughs.



Enjoy your weekend



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43 comments:

  1. Michelle26 July 2014 at 14:40

    I always love good quotations. Mark Twain is a favorite of mine and his about the classics is so true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie Bluelights26 July 2014 at 16:12

      Thanks Michelle - Mark Twain was certainly a genius and many of his quotes are so true. :)

      Delete
  2. Pat Hatt26 July 2014 at 15:57

    lol I'm using my apparatus to think I think right now
    And if you don't read the classic they have a cow
    Actors are full of themselves
    As lively as santas elves

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie Bluelights26 July 2014 at 19:19

      Glad the apparatus is ok
      And pen is flowing well today.
      And glad you don't require a bank
      Which might do that umbrella prank.

      Delete
  3. Betsy Brock26 July 2014 at 16:05

    People who talk when you want them to listen......love that one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie Bluelights26 July 2014 at 19:14

      Yes, there are a lot of them around . . . . :)

      Delete
    2. Pat Hatt26 July 2014 at 23:57

      They never shut their trap
      But duct tape ends their flap

      Delete
    3. Eddie Bluelights27 July 2014 at 00:13

      For folk like that who witter on
      We hope and hope that they are gone
      It seems a futile and an endless battle
      To stop them with their mindless prattle.

      Delete
    4. Betsy Brock28 July 2014 at 01:51

      Duct tape and hope could solve every issue!
      But this had me laugh so hard, I had to grab a tissue!

      Delete
  4. stephen Hayes26 July 2014 at 21:11

    All were good but my favorite was: Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. I love reading these quotes and I appreciate you posting them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie Bluelights26 July 2014 at 22:33

      Glad you like them Stephen - I have loads and can keep the column going for a long time . . . :)

      Delete
  5. Jackie27 July 2014 at 05:53

    I loved reading these, Eddie, and I appreciate that you shared them with us!
    I hope that you are getting lots and lots of Grandson hugs and kisses. They are the sweetest! Have a great week, my friend.
    Hugs,
    J.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie Bluelights27 July 2014 at 08:24

      Lot's more where those came from, Jackie - will post some more every week
      Little Peter is such a cutie pie and on holiday for 2 weeks with his ma and pa and grandma and granddad.
      He's gone fishing with them. . . lol
      Hugs ~Eddie

      Delete
  6. Shadow27 July 2014 at 14:27

    I read these aloud to my two 'boys' and we had us a good laugh, thanx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie Bluelights27 July 2014 at 17:45

      Hi :) Long time - no see!!
      Great you came over and glad you three had a good laugh . . . .
      More next week :)

      Delete
  7. Unknown27 July 2014 at 16:21

    Hi Eddie, I think those saying are very true, but I do wish you wouldn't be so serious all the time, you should lighten up a little bit. I always strive to be happy and gay, in the old meaning of the word.

    How about some "There was a Cherokee maiden from Ohio, How she got there I don't know." That sort of thing I like.

    You are not serious about posting some more quotations next week are you? May God protect us from the ramblings of ex-ambulance drivers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown27 July 2014 at 16:22

      Was that comment up to your standard you require then?

      Delete
    2. Eddie Bluelights27 July 2014 at 17:51

      Hi Anthony - great to see you and please come just as you are - it's good to see you whether you are serious or whether you are funny. But I laughed my socks off at your last one and so will she when she sees it - she is at a NASCAR race right now with her son and daughter in law. Thanks for commenting. :)

      Delete
    3. Eddie Bluelights27 July 2014 at 18:20

      Oh! I am laughing so hard . . . . Oh Anthony . . love it!
      I'll try not to be so serious, honest and I will and let my hair down a bit - good advice.
      But you really are most welcome whatever you say.
      Pink Cloud's great grandmother was Cherokee - that's where all that came from.
      And yes, we all have to watch out for these ex-ambulancemen - they are almost as bad as ex-lawyers . . . :)

      No doubt Keith will be over later :)

      Delete
    4. Robert Smith27 July 2014 at 20:35

      What makes you think that Eddie?

      As for you Tony, you will be in big trouble when Pink Cloud returns from the races!
      "There was a Cherokee maiden from Ohio. . . .". I can see it all now, she will be off to see the medicine man who no doubt will give her doll that looks like you and some hat pins!

      Delete
    5. Unknown27 July 2014 at 20:40

      Oh, no he wont.

      Delete
    6. Betsy Brock28 July 2014 at 01:20

      Oh, yes he will!

      Delete
    7. Betsy Brock28 July 2014 at 01:23

      Pink Cloud has arrived! I did a rain dance so the rain stayed in Ohio and not in Indiana, where I was today!
      My ears were itching though and I had the feeling someone was talking about me. haha.
      Now, I want to know who started the line about the Cherokee maiden from Ohio! Any one want to confess? lol....

      Delete
    8. Eddie Bluelights28 July 2014 at 10:39

      Not guilty my lady . . . . charge dismissed . . .
      Keith might but or course he would claim his innocence by 'diminished responsibility' . . . . . lol

      Delete
  8. Robert Smith27 July 2014 at 20:42

    Oh, yes he WILL !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown27 July 2014 at 20:46

      Eddie - I dont know how you put up with Keith

      Delete
    2. Robert Smith27 July 2014 at 20:48

      Tony, don't forget the fact that I control the domain that you are using, and I've got my hand on the destruct lever. . . .

      Delete
    3. Eddie Bluelights27 July 2014 at 22:51

      Hello boys! . . . . well well well I turn my back for a couple of hours and just look what I see! . . . lol
      A cyber pantomime.

      Yes, Tony . . . you do have a point there.
      Now do you see why I thought he had set up a dummy account and pretended to be someone else!

      He might just do that and surprise us yet.

      Now Mr Smith, I expect that last remark makes you feel all powerful . . . but let me remind you, you are dealing with a lawyer . . . lol , a Cherokee and an ex ambulanceman .

      Delete
  9. Robert Smith27 July 2014 at 20:43

    You pair thought I had gone didn't you, but I'm watching. . . . . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robert Smith27 July 2014 at 20:51

      I'm going now. Eddie, I loved those quotations, I don't know whos site you stole them from, but they are good anyway.

      Delete
    2. Eddie Bluelights27 July 2014 at 22:53

      Cheers Keith . . . I won't tell you where I stole them . . .

      Delete
  10. Amy at love made my home27 July 2014 at 21:44

    Have you heard Oscar Wilde's definition of a horse - dangerous at both ends and darned uncomfortable in the middle!!! I think that is a good alternative definition don't you!! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie Bluelights27 July 2014 at 22:55

      Hi Amy . . . thanks for that great Oscar Wilde definition of a horse . . . I'use that one . . . . xx

      Delete
  11. Other Mary27 July 2014 at 22:36

    Very good! I have also read somewhere that athiesm is a non-prophet organization! :o) Keep 'em coming Eddy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie Bluelights27 July 2014 at 22:56

      lol . . . thanks, Mary, for that one too - I'll use it :)

      Delete
  12. Mimi28 July 2014 at 15:55

    Hi Eddie, how are you? I'm hoping to get back to blogging soon, commenting is a start! Love the Acquaintance one and also the bank ones!
    The picture of Magnolia on your header is beautiful, is that from your own garden?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie Bluelights28 July 2014 at 17:04

      Well what a pleasant surprise to hear from you, Mimi.
      I have missed you and your French Horn very much. So glad you are in BlogLand again.
      Yes, the Acquaintance quote is very funny. This is a regular show, so there will be many more.

      Yes, the Magnolia Tree is in my front garden and I remembered to take a photo this year. :)

      Delete
  13. Unknown28 July 2014 at 16:54

    Nice. Those are some pretty amazing quotes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie Bluelights28 July 2014 at 17:12

      Welcome and thank you Lady Lilith - please return next week for some more and you are most welcome to have a look around any time.
      Will come over to see your blog soon . . . . Eddie :)

      Delete
  14. Robert Smith28 July 2014 at 17:03

    Is Mark Train related to Mark Twain?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie Bluelights28 July 2014 at 17:14

      The very same . . . thanks Keith. They are now both Twain. . . .. :)

      Delete
  15. Gloria Baker28 July 2014 at 21:28

    Nice quotes Eddie:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eddie Bluelights28 July 2014 at 22:18

      Thanks Gloria . . . . :)
      I'll come over tonight to see your latest post . . x

      Delete

Thank you for your comment. You are most welcome to my humble abode.

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