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Wednesday 18 December 2019

NUN JOKE



The Sunday Muse #86A


I could not resist using this great prompt as a vehicle for a Nun joke





Sister Marguerite was attending her duties when she noticed some of her sisters looking at her in a rather strange way, giggling and some making rather strange comments.

"Ah! sister Marguerite", said sister Cleo, "I can see you got out of bed the wrong side this morning!" and laughed and wandered off.

Sister Bernadette looked at her quizzically and said, "Did you get out of bed the wrong side today?"

"No, I'm ok, thanks, nothing wrong or unusual!"

"Sister Marguerite!!", said sister Theresa, "I can see you got out of bed the wrong side today!"

"No, I'm ok , , honestly!"

This went on all morning and she was beginning to get annoyed and made some curt comments herself as the morning wore on, 

Eventually she met Mother Superior who looked her up and down and was about to speak when Sister Marguerite cut her short by saying, "People have been asking me all morning if there is something wrong with me. Honestly, if anyone else asks me if I got out of bed the wrong side I shall explode, even if I have to say three Hail Marys as a penance."

"Well, my dear Sister Marguerite, I was not going to ask you that question but I do have another question I would like to ask.

"Why are you wearing the Bishop's shoes?"


lol



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No offence meant, just good humour, if any Nun's are reading.


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Saturday 7 December 2019

PLEASE CHOOSE ME


The Sunday Muse #85


My word, the weeks fly by, don't they?

Once again The Sunday Muse comes around.

I thought this prompt was very appealing so I just thought I would let the little kitten speak for itself

Thank you Carrie for this great prompt.



PLEASE CHOOSE ME


Photography by Guy Kawasaki


Please choose little me.
I hope you will agree.
I'm sort of cute and fluffy
Though I'm also rather scruffy.
Will you adopt me?
Other's have dropped me.
Can I share your home
Where I can freely roam?


You might well be smitten
With me now as a kitten.
I can't promise I will stay
In this form and in this way,
For one day I will grow.
Will you tell me then to go?
I'll still be the same me
Could I stay?  So please agree.


I'll sit there on your lap
And have a long, long nap.
While you gently stroke my fur
And I will gently purr.
If you don't show me rejection
I'll give you my affection
And bring to you a mouse
or a bird into your house.


Please choose little me
I hope you will agree.



Eddie Bluelights
7 December 2019




To reach The Sunday Muse please press HERE



Sunday 1 December 2019

CULINARY DISASTERS



The Sunday Muse #84



Culinary Disasters On The Wall

The evidence in my kitchen is plain to see
My cooking is wanting to the nth degree.
Years of grime and greasy fat
Cling to walls of my one bed flat.

With huge high hopes I read each recipe
I read each twice with sheer necessity.
Ingredients prepared with loving hands
Made it safely to my pots and pans.

All went well until the cooking,
Was it something I'd been overlooking?
Because each heartbreaking burnt disaster,
Spattered walls and the ceiling plaster

My simple intentions to inspire
Ended in a raging chip pan fire.
It's a wonder I am alive to tell
Frequent disasters which did not go well.

That explains the wall erosion
Years and years of pan explosion.
Now I do not cook at all
It's ready meals from the local stall.



Eddie Bluelights
1 December 2019


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Sunday 20 January 2019

WHY DO ZEBRAS HAVE STRIPES?





This week I am very pleased to participate again in Carrie Van Horn's weekly poetry circle,


The Sunday Muse #39








Hey Mate! Why Have We Got Stripes?

One day Zebra A said to Zebra B,
"Let's conclude the debate which we could not agree,
On why we have stripes, and what does it mean?
And why they are there to be clearly seen?"

"The answer", said B, "is simple, of course,
For without them we would look just like a horse!"
Said A, "That is daft and your answer is silly,
Please think and give reasons, you illogical filly!"

"Hmm, maybe it's all about recognition,
Courting and selection and mating ambition,
Imagine a stallion approaching a mare,
Walking with a swagger and a lusty stare."

 'Hey, honey, you're it, I'm in romantic mode!
We have the same stripes and a matching bar code!'"
"At last you have noticed," she said with a stutter,
As she brushed his fetlock and her eyelids did flutter.'"

Said A, "That's just plain nonsense and you well know it!
If you have any brain cells, wise up now and show it,
Us zebras have stripes and they are all the same,
Unlike tigers in Asia, all unique, scientists claim."

"I don't agree and I read it somewhere,
That our stripes are all different, just see over there,
That's Charlie, I can pick him out from the rest
By one little stripe ~ look there on his crest!" 

"An interesting thought, you speak like a tutor,
But our brains are all finite, and not a computer,
There are too many bar codes by far to remember,
With all combinations of each herd and each member." 

"It could be to confuse all those hungry predators
Lions, leopards, cheetahs and hyenas,
"I don't think you're right and my reason for saying,
Is stripes make us stand out, thus assisting the slaying!"

"I think what you say is entirely absurd,
That's why we stay close in a very big herd,
Where we're often safe if we all stick together,
Lions often miss out, if we run hell for leather."

"So the reason I feel it is not camouflage,
For a lion will attack us with wild sabotage.
It is in their breeding and for each hungry pride
They want us for food to fill mouths open wide!"

"Oh don't frighten me with that horrible stuff!
I'm feeling scared and I've had just enough! 
So tell me the reason and just what it is?
I'm keen to get answers for this very old quiz!"

"Research has suggested the stripes may be for
Cooling us down in a high temperature,
Because we are grazing in that very hot sun
Unshaded for ages, while we eat a ton!"

"But non zebra grazers feed hour after hour,
All prey for lions, wanting them to devour.
Impala, Antelope, Springbok, Great Kudu.
With none having stripes ~ ask any Gnu!"

"And how do stripes work, why should they cool?
What is the reason? and what is the rule?"
'A' said to 'B' that he'd work hard and try,
 To answer that riddle, to explain how and why.

"Heat strikes the black in a different way,
To the white all day long on a very hot day.
Where white meets black it causes an eddy,
Resulting in cooling, making us feel less heady."

"That may be so but I really don't buy it!
I think my solution is better, just try it!
It's all about flies which suck blood when they bite us,
And not camouflage, or lions that fight us!" 

"It could be infections from blood sucking flies,
Biting us as we graze, wanting us as a prize.
They could spread disease which would make us quite ill,
With a very good chance they might even kill!"

"Experiments show that for black and white types,
The flies are attracted, but not when in stripes!
When striped there's confusion and flies will not settle
So to bite and drink blood will not test their mettle!"

"So that is the way us zebras evolved.
It may be the answer to that old problem, solved.
But does this really prove 'stripes evolution',
And is it accepted as the true solution." 

"Darwin was puzzled and had no idea
about this conundrum, he was very unclear.
The fact is that for the last two hundred years
There is no solution, or so it appears!"

"All this may be rubbish as ideas we plod,
It could be the creator, let's call him God.
He may like our stripes and made us this way,
For he's King after all, and has final say!"


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Eddie Bluelights
20 January 2019



Research to this problem is still on-going  and scientists are baffled.




To reach Carrie's website at the Sunday Muse please press HERE




I recently joined The Sunday Muse and just missed out on Muse #36 which I found interesting so I have written something HERE