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Friday 28 August 2009

Wonderful Blood, Donations and Have a Heart!

I have just made my 90th Blood Donation - in total enough blood for almost 12 people.

I started donating when I was 17 and missed a few years in my 30s and then I donated regularly three times a year for 'umpteen' years until now. I intend to keep going to 100 and beyond, for as long as I can. The age limit of 70 has just been lifted.

I have wondered often who have been the recipients of my blood and under what circumstances - of course I shall never know, this side of the grave anyway - yet I continue to wonder.

To give blood is one of the most precious gifts anyone can make.

The Bible tells us, "Life is in the Blood" and in each person there are between 7-8 pints coursing through their veins and arteries. Blood carries vital oxygen to every cell in the body through the circulatory system and carbon dioxide is exchanged and expelled through the lungs. Rich nutrients are carried to all living cells and harmful toxins are carried away from every fibre of our bodies. Also disease fighting anti-bodies are carried in the blood supply throughout the body.

Our blood vessels are absolutely amazing.
How many miles do you think they would measure if they were laid end to end? One mile, perhaps?

You will be astonished to see that there are a staggering 100,000 miles when laid end to end (over half way to the moon) of arteries, veins and capillaries in our bodies - filled with 7-8 pints of vital life giving blood for every person you see every day of our lives.

Imagine, say at a football crowd, or a rock concert, or on a crowded bus, the total volume of blood 'sloshing' about all around you! Quite amazing!

How do evolutionists manage to cope with that, I wonder?

How could this situation possibly evolve all by itself - quite impossible!

And consider our hearts pumping that blood.
Our hearts beat effortlessly and reliably a staggering 37 million times a year . . . . functioning flawlessly!

By the age of 65 each heart will have beat 2,000 million times.

A 90 year old's heart will raise an astonishing half a million tons of blood.

For most of our life we do not even know our hearts are functioning - a miracle of creation for all the billions and billions of people walking on our planet Earth - and for all the animals, let us not forget.

I would encourage everyone who is able to donate blood to do so regularly. It is quite painless and you get tea/coffee and biscuits after. Plus, at the end of it you get a real 'buzz' knowling you have helped someone or even saved their life.

Blood is used for cancer patients, for babies, for road traffic accidents and for all manner of reasons, as detailed in my link to the National Blood Service for England and North Wales. No doubt there will be a similar webpage for other countries but the point is it is very easy to donate and there is usually a shortage of donors - so please help if you can.

Jesus knew that blood is precious and the most he could ever give - but he did not give just a lttle bit; one pint. He gave it all, hence his earthly life - to us, so that not just one or two people would be saved - but that all of us may be saved.

Finally, I always end with a touch of humour.
This is the crystal plate I received after I had donated my 75th pint.
I was looking 'high and low' for this the other day and thought my dearest had 'put it away' somewhere. I asked her if she had seen it.

"Oh yes dear! It's in the conservatory - I'm using it as a plant plate - see, my love? There it is!"
Grinning, I said, "Have a heart, love - oh I see! Do you realise I've sweated blood for that! I'm getting a crystal beer tankard for my 100th donation - where do you want to put the new 'flower vase' when we get it?"

And finally, just an excerpt from Tony Hancock's famous Blood Donor sketch - a classic in it's day. I saw part one on the web - I would think the other parts are there too for those wanting them.

Glass Of Milk

This post was inspired by a wonderful post by my friend Jackie, on her award winning post entitled A Gift . This deservedly won top POTD recently and in her post Jackie related a very moving story of a young man who required extra teaching and she insisted on providing it for no payment. It changed his life very much for the better.

A Glass Of Milk

One day, a poor boy in the USA who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so she brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything", she replied, "Mother has taught us never to accept payment for a kindness."

He said, "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left the house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit school since it was an expensive uphill struggle - but this one act of kindness rekindled his whole zest for life and faith in humanity.

Years later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city where they called in specialists to study her rare desease.

Dr Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognised her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it , for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all, because there is no NHS in the States. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill.

She read the words . . . . "Paid in full with one glass of milk" - Dr. Howard Kelly

* * * * * * * * *

Oh yes! I've added this bit later - it IS a true story

Saturday 22 August 2009

Wizard Of Oz - Film Trailer

Preview of forthcoming attractions!!!Eddie lets Suldog have it with a final demand, "Let my people go or ye shall feel the wrath of my staff!"
Suldog defiantly says, "No! By all the saints on a pogo-stick, I'll not let them go!"
The ultimate show down is coming - can the Wicked Witch of the West resist the powers of light?

And now appearing shortly at a cinema near you!
(Where else you stupid idiots!)

A true story - that actually happened!!
filmed in glorious Panoramic Technicolor

You'll be laughing in you seats! You'll be crying in the dark! You'll be frightened in the aisles!

There's romance! There's intrigue! There's danger! There's mystery!
Gaston Studios
proudly presents
another epic production

directed by
Cecil B de Thrill
with a star studded cast


Jackie of Teacher's Pet, as Dorothy
Suldog, as the wicked Witch of the West
Eddie Bluelights, as the Strawman

David McMahon as The Wizard of Oz
God of Another World as The Tin Man
A surprise guest artist as The Lionman
also starring
The lovely Meredith Teagarden as a good witch of the North
The equally levely Janine as Glenda, the good witch of the South
The stunningly attractive Marguerite with her beautiful green eyes, as yet another good witch, with her enticing Cajun Delights, leapard dancing shoes and shrimps

and introducing
laugh a minute Marcy of Blessings Each Day
plus her Village People
plus lots of other guest stars appearing
Lots of other witches
Lots of Munchkins
Winged Flying monkeys
The Crystal Jigsaw
The mysterious Lakeviewer
(and so it goes on)
Join us in our travels along the yellow brick road in search of The Wizard of Oz in the Emerald City - with all the dangers ensuing - see The Lady in a Window trapped and Being Held Hostage in Suldog's castle - then gallantly rescued by Eddie! Can he do it with the others?
Only by seeing this epic film can all the answers be revealed to these fascinating questions
Just what made this charming little baby playing with his yellow ducks

change into this evil wicked Witch of the West

The mind boggles!
Will Eddie get a brain? . . . Will the tin man get a heart? . . . Will the lion man get courage?
Suldog cannot stand water! or is it H2SO4?
What will he do when confronted with the final stand off?
Can he prevent the Exodus?
Can the forces of light prevail?
Will Eddie's Angels come to the rescue?
or will blogland remain under the spell of that evil witch?
Will Eddie get the girl this time or will he be jilted yet again?
And who is the girl?
Is she the delectable Marguerite with those enticing green eyes and leopard skin dancing shoes?
Or is she Eddie's riding companion Meredith with her romantic choice of music and her liking of polite, romantic men in uniforms with a keen sense of humour?
Or is she Lola - a lively and sexy Italian girl - or has she a mad crush on Suldog? and will she swap sides?
Could it be the lovely Janine? The beautiful good witch, Glenda? Time will tell!
And what is Dorothy up to with that dude in the boat - who is he? Is he Kenny Rogers?
And just who are all the Village People?
A further announcement will be made by Eddie when he actually gets round to writing the blooming thing!! - Certainly before Christmas!!

Sorry! After my dinner I will start writing! OK?

Sunday 16 August 2009

Cerne Abbas Giant

The Cerne Abbas Giant
The Rude Man
© By Eddie Bluelights - August 2009

Forgive me for showing this man, stark and rude,
with his 'friend' primed for action - so terribly crude!
He's carved in the hillside in Dorset, you see
In the chalk you can see him, as plain as can be.

The Cerne Abbas Giant is most easy to view
Just outside town on the A352
He measures just over 'one eighty feet'
With his club 'sixty' shorter, he looks quite a treat.

In the square you can see to the right of his head
Is a place that had maypoles on May Day, 'tis said.
They called it the Trendle or the Frying Pan
Where 'til '19 hundred' lots of festivities ran.

Regrettably now all this activity's stopped
The villager's youngsters to elsewhere have hopped.
At one time with children the whole place was teeming.
Now only old folk remain - faces beaming.

Of the giant, I consider it must take some doing
To wield that big club AND be ready for wooing.
He must be so clever at this multi-tasking
To hold that erection must take some asking!

He's held that position for 400 years,
You'd think that by now he'd be quite close to tears
For no lady giant is ever in sight
For to see him like that would sure give her a fright.

I think by that 'gormless' look on his face
He's banged his head hard with that lofty mace
His chest is lob-sided, his ribs are too few
He's got two left feet and he looks in a stew.

Regarding his 'member' it is far from small
At twenty six feet you might say it's tall
But somehow it's longer than it used to be
By over a foot from its first history.

Experts are baffled why this growth has occurred
Some say some pranksters have acted absurd.
With others convinced he has magical powers
In matters of folklore - they discuss this for hours!

Just why he appears in the way that he is
Is unknown at the present and a bit of a quiz
But stories abound of fertility rites
With tales of his assistance during passionate nights.

It starts with the ladies, unattached by their self
Not wishing ever to be left on the shelf
They spend the night sleeping at our giant's feet
And pray for a handsome, kind man soon to meet.
Married couples who cannot conceive on their own
Need assistance and guidance, and helpful tone.
They heard they could rely on help from the giant
And booked up quickly as his very next client.
They waited and waited until it was dark
Then climbed up the hillside, away from the park
They lay close together on the tip of his 'member'
And started to act in ways they should remember.

They tried lots of methods, positions and ways
Their inventiveness simply did not fail to amaze.
There was this way and that way - and perhaps this.
Their success they determined to hit - not to miss.

Just what was different I just cannot say
For when daybreak came, at first light of day
The couple walked down with wide smiles on their faces
And fond memories of the night's wild embraces.

They knew it was certain with child she'd be expecting
With no chance this time of their efforts rejecting.
Just what did he say, and what did he do?
No person who's done it will today give a clue!

Well, that was something a bit different from Mr Bluelights, wasn't it? I had great fun doing this and it was published in 2012 in a ladies' fertility magazine.  I received an email one day asking if they could feature it.

I hope no-one was shocked - it's just meant to be good clean fun, and I did to write it tastefully.

For those wanting assistance from this giant urgently the road again is A352 and Cerne Abbas is not far from Dorchester
This post was 'inspired' when I drove past the giant, whom I have seen many times before, whilst driving an ambulance with a patient on a stretcher and with, yes, one of Eddie's Angels attending. Needless to say she had a fit of the giggles, quickly followed by lots of hysterics and wriggles and wiggles. Even the elderly patient sat up in her stretcher at the sight, remarking that she hadn't seen one like that for years, whilst adding that size is not everything! She was certainly no prude and must have been aged about 90. I am including an official website for the Cerne Abbas Giant containing more information for those interested.

Now to the question. Would you like another poem suggesting what the giant might have said or done? I don't think I dare, do you?

Following a comment I received asking 'does Viagra have an interest in this?', I added this footnote. 

Well I think the answer is no. However just a few days ago, after I drove the ambulance past the giant, a giant Homer Simpson offering the giant a condom appeared. This incited a few of the local inhabitants along with some paganists. I have a link to the Daily Mail article.

I am honoured to receive POTD runner up from David McMahon at Authorblog.
Thank you David - It is always great to receive this award and I congratulate all the others nominated.

Sunday 2 August 2009

My First Day as an Ambulanceman

I joined my present private ambulance company in November 2005

The owner of the company, Roy, was annoyed with Danny, a Paramedic.
Danny had taken Roy's jeep to the Pathology Department in the centre of Bristol. His mission was to view a post mortem - the gruesome thing!!

Roy is a member of the Salvation Army and plays the cornet in their beautiful band - they make a super sound - cool as you Americans would say. Roy was due for a practice session in a couple of hours . . . . . AND . . . . his musical instrument, including some of his fellow band members' instruments were in the jeep, which was hi-jacked by Danny and now in Bristol.

Jeepers!!! Roy was fuming!! "Why couldn't Danny take another car?", Roy insisted.

My first ever mission was to seek and locate this jeep at the Pathology Department, find Danny and Exchange cars - sounds simple, but I was not exactly sure where the Path Lab was.

I knew the general direction and called into the hospital where I thought it was and asked for the Pathology Department. I was greeted by a DEADPAN look by a 'thicko' on reception who uttered these immortal words, "Dunno Gov!", with not an offer to find information from elsewhere.

Not wishing to be put off by such negative vibes I proceeded across the road to an older and more promising possible location and knocked on the door - NOTHING! Knocked again - NOTHING!

A woman came out of a building next to this, saw me in my ambulance uniform and asked me if she could assist me. I mentioned that I was looking for the mortuary and had knocked on this door and noticed THERE WAS NO SIGN OF LIFE there!! Thinking this was exactly the criteria I was seeking, and suggesting I had reached the correct location, I was rather put off when the woman went into hysterical laughter and informed me that there were no STIFFS in that building and the place I wanted was just down that lane. She proceeded to give me precise instructions and completed the conversation by commenting I was far too late to assist anyone there from a medical viewpoint. I complimented her on her keen sense of humour and we had a good laugh and I proceeded on my way, sensing time was ebbing away.

With a new spring in my step I strode to the new venue and was transported to the mortuary and into the pathology department. I was aware of locating not only Danny the Paramedic but also a row of silent companions with sheets over them and their feet sticking out of the end as though they were lying at ease, all well regimented and silent. Danny was a bit put out at this interruption - the pathologist was just removing the front of a rib cage, just like Professor Gunther von Hagens did on his rather contentious TV live autopsy programmes. The officials did not mind anyone watching them work but my knees were beginning to shake a bit and I felt a bit squeamish, so I left pronto.

We swapped cars and JEEPERS again I had a huge learning curve because the jeep was an automatic and I had never driven one . . . . . AND . . . . it was a BRUTE and was parked in a small car park with only inches to spare between several cars. So I learned to drive it in the car park and without scraping anything I managed to get the jeep onto the main road and home to base.

I was greeted by Roy, the red faced MD who said, "Well done" and proceeded to take control and dash off into the sunset with blues and sirens going . . . quite illegally since there was no emergency . . . and off to band practice.

That was quite enough excitement for my first day, do you not think?
Oh I did not include a link to an Autopsy website - I sense you are not that keen to see one.
In conclusion I must apologise for not visiting many of your sites lately - I am very busy with ambulance work and a new job there - I shall visit you as soon as I can. Meanwhile I can still push out an ambulance story or two and I am working on another 'biggy' - watch this space!!!