EDDIE GETS A MAKEOVER

I will get straight to the point - with no beating about the bush, whatsoever!!

Several of you ladies blatantly have come straight out with it - absolutely fearlessly and unreservedly.  

I have been informed in no uncertain terms I require a makeover!!
. . . . . .  and a radical one at that!

Of course you all insist you have my best interests at heart so I can enhance my appeal with the ladies, now I am single again.  Well, OK, I'll go along with the fact that some minor cosmetic improvements may well be desirable, but really, some of your suggestions!! - well I would never believe them possible! They are way over the top! Are they really necessary?
DON'T ANSWER THAT! lol

I shall spare your blushes, you culprits and others looking on and nodding and giggling quietly and I will be kind this time and refrain from revealing your identities

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!

Shame on you!! lol

The first suggestion of a possible improvement to Eddie's appearance was revealed to me in June 2011 when I had that dreadful time with my telephone when I was cut off for days by TALKTALK, my then Service Provider, and I almost smashed my telephone with that large mallet in frustration.  Remember?

OK, I received a fair few relevant comments about the situation and all of you were sympathetic.  Yet I remember a certain individual, one gal who was so excited she emailed me right way, 

"Eddie! You look ten years younger! Have you had a makeover?  Come on, Eddie it's either a wig or you've had a rinse, like I've been telling you to do for months!  You've actually had it, haven't you??"

I wrote back and said, "I've had neither, my dear", to which she replied, "You must have - me and my friend are certain  you have - it's gotta be one or other!"

I was forced to do something radical to convince her that it was just the different lighting that had made the difference and the only thing I could think of was to send her an email something like this!

THIS IS EDDIE WEARING A WIG! - Right?

But there is no way Eddie with the hammer was wearing a wig!! - Right?

Nor had he had a rinse! . . . . nor did he have his hair spiked up like you constantly suggest he does!

Now to convince you, do you realise I have had a great deal of trouble getting that wig for the photo?  I had to borrow it form a lady I know.  I have never had to ask a lady if I could borrow her wig before and it was a trifle tricky and very embarrassing!  The things I do for you! She gave me a real funny look and asked me why I wanted it.  I said it was for personal reasons but I didn't want it for long and would return it within the hour!  So she gave me such a funny look again and I was relieved when she said, "OK, but make sure it is not damaged".  I put it in a plastic bag, got it home, put it on and got out my camera. I was laughing so darned hard I dropped the camera, the wig fell off and I sat on it!!  Panic stricken I examined it and fell on my knees thanking God it was OK.  Then I managed to take the snap before returning the wig, saying to the bewildered woman, "That's better! - thanks!"  

She gave me a long hard look like I belonged to the funny farm.

My girl blogging friend and her girlfriend were in hysterics for days and weeks after that and eventually said, "We surrender!  we surrender! You must be right!  It must have been  less light shining on the top of your head on the original photo, but we both still say you need that rinse and while you're at it go to the gym and have a series of workouts!  Boy you need them!!  And then you might resemble a hunk!" 

You see what friends I have, don't you!!

Well let's fast forward to last Sunday.  Another dear blogging lady sent me a video!!  

Yes, a complete video about this poor chap giving himself a very painful and stressful makeover so he could find the girl of his dreams - the poor sod!  She said that I should study the video in detail and follow this guy's example if and when I ever thought of contacting a dating agency and if I did so I would be rewarded for my efforts and perseverance.

Just take a look at this!!

It's really funny lol

Hope you enjoyed that!!

Well, this lady said she and some of her friends consider I should:

1. Use the typo correction fluid to give me sparkling white teeth.

2. Use the safely pins to take the wrinkles out of my face.

3. Use the electric shock to straighten me and make me taller.

4. Use the file

5. Use the glue

in fact use everything!!

. . . . . and they have warned me against selecting too young and ravishing a lady like that gorgeous girl in the movie, otherwise when she sneezes in the car her face might blow off.

Another said, "Eddie, I will buy you the tools and all the equipment, and if you do it I'll then give you my mobile number!"

Another was not so encouraging, suggesting if I am lucky I might attract someone like this:

Hope she's filthy rich!!

Well you asked me to start blogging again - so here I am!

Confession time!

1. The two blogging ladies are real and they are such great friends - thank you both.

2. I used a lot of creative writing licence here, of course!

3. I'm not saying anything about the wig!!! ROFL

AND

I am grateful to Keith Smith at My Secret Journal for sending this video to my friend Betsy at My Five Men