Glass Of Milk

This post was inspired by a wonderful post by my friend Jackie, on her award winning post entitled A Gift . This deservedly won top POTD recently and in her post Jackie related a very moving story of a young man who required extra teaching and she insisted on providing it for no payment. It changed his life very much for the better.

A Glass Of Milk

One day, a poor boy in the USA who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so she brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything", she replied, "Mother has taught us never to accept payment for a kindness."

He said, "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left the house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit school since it was an expensive uphill struggle - but this one act of kindness rekindled his whole zest for life and faith in humanity.

Years later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city where they called in specialists to study her rare desease.

Dr Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognised her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it , for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all, because there is no NHS in the States. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill.

She read the words . . . . "Paid in full with one glass of milk" - Dr. Howard Kelly

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Oh yes! I've added this bit later - it IS a true story

Wizard Of Oz - Film Trailer

Preview of forthcoming attractions!!!Eddie lets Suldog have it with a final demand, "Let my people go or ye shall feel the wrath of my staff!"

Suldog defiantly says, "No! By all the saints on a pogo-stick, I'll not let them go!"

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The ultimate show down is coming - can the Wicked Witch of the West resist the powers of light?

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And now appearing shortly at a cinema near you!

(Where else you stupid idiots!)

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A true story - that actually happened!!

filmed in glorious Panoramic Technicolor

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You'll be laughing in you seats! You'll be crying in the dark! You'll be frightened in the aisles!

There's romance! There's intrigue! There's danger! There's mystery!

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Gaston Studios

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proudly presents

another epic production

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directed by

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Cecil B de Thrill

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with a star studded cast

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in

THE WIZARD OF OZ

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starring

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Jackie of Teacher's Pet, as Dorothy

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Suldog, as the wicked Witch of the West
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Eddie Bluelights, as the Strawman
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David McMahon as The Wizard of Oz

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God of Another World as The Tin Man

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A surprise guest artist as The Lionman
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also starring
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The lovely Meredith Teagarden as a good witch of the North

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The equally levely Janine as Glenda, the good witch of the South

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The stunningly attractive Marguerite with her beautiful green eyes, as yet another good witch, with her enticing Cajun Delights, leapard dancing shoes and shrimps

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and introducing

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laugh a minute Marcy of Blessings Each Day

plus her Village People

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plus lots of other guest stars appearing

with

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Lots of other witches

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Lots of Munchkins

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Winkins

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Winged Flying monkeys

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The Crystal Jigsaw

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The mysterious Lakeviewer

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(and so it goes on)

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Join us in our travels along the yellow brick road in search of The Wizard of Oz in the Emerald City - with all the dangers ensuing - see The Lady in a Window trapped and Being Held Hostage in Suldog's castle - then gallantly rescued by Eddie! Can he do it with the others?

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Only by seeing this epic film can all the answers be revealed to these fascinating questions

Just what made this charming little baby playing with his yellow ducks

change into this evil wicked Witch of the West

The mind boggles!

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Will Eddie get a brain? . . . Will the tin man get a heart? . . . Will the lion man get courage?

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Suldog cannot stand water! or is it H2SO4?
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What will he do when confronted with the final stand off?
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Can he prevent the Exodus?
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Can the forces of light prevail?
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Will Eddie's Angels come to the rescue?
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or will blogland remain under the spell of that evil witch?
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Will Eddie get the girl this time or will he be jilted yet again?
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And who is the girl?
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Is she the delectable Marguerite with those enticing green eyes and leopard skin dancing shoes?
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Or is she Eddie's riding companion Meredith with her romantic choice of music and her liking of polite, romantic men in uniforms with a keen sense of humour?
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Or is she Lola - a lively and sexy Italian girl - or has she a mad crush on Suldog? and will she swap sides?
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Could it be the lovely Janine? The beautiful good witch, Glenda? Time will tell!
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And what is Dorothy up to with that dude in the boat - who is he? Is he Kenny Rogers?
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And just who are all the Village People?
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A further announcement will be made by Eddie when he actually gets round to writing the blooming thing!! - Certainly before Christmas!!

WHAT! NOT WRITTEN YET!

NOW LOOK HERE MISTER - I'VE GOT £2 MILLION BUCKS RIDING ON THIS!

GET WRITING OR I'LL BUST YOUR ARSE (or is it ASS?)

Sorry! After my dinner I will start writing! OK?

Cerne Abbas Giant

The Cerne Abbas Giant
or
The Rude Man© By Eddie Bluelights - August 2009

Forgive me for showing this man, stark and rude,
with his 'friend' primed for action - so terribly crude!
He's carved in the hillside in Dorset, you see
In the chalk you can see him, as plain as can be.

The Cerne Abbas Giant is most easy to view
Just outside town on the A352
He measures just over 'one eighty feet'
With his club 'sixty' shorter, he looks quite a treat.

In the square you can see to the right of his head
Is a place that had maypoles on May Day, 'tis said.
They called it the Trendle or the Frying Pan
Where 'til '19 hundred' lots of festivities ran.

Regrettably now all this activity's stopped
The villager's youngsters to elsewhere have hopped.
At one time with children the whole place was teeming.
Now only old folk remain - faces beaming.

Of the giant, I consider it must take some doing
To wield that big club AND be ready for wooing.
He must be so clever at this multi-tasking
To hold that erection must take some asking!

He's held that position for 400 years,
You'd think that by now he'd be quite close to tears
For no lady giant is ever in sight
For to see him like that would sure give her a fright.

I think by that 'gormless' look on his face
He's banged his head hard with that lofty mace
His chest is lob-sided, his ribs are too few
He's got two left feet and he looks in a stew.

Regarding his 'member' it is far from small
At twenty six feet you might say it's tall
But somehow it's longer than it used to be
By over a foot from its first history.

Experts are baffled why this growth has occurred
Some say some pranksters have acted absurd.
With others convinced he has magical powers
In matters of folklore - they discuss this for hours!

Just why he appears in the way that he is
Is unknown at the present and a bit of a quiz
But stories abound of fertility rites
With tales of his assistance during passionate nights.

It starts with the ladies, unattached by their self
Not wishing ever to be left on the shelf
They spend the night sleeping at our giant's feet
And pray for a handsome, kind man soon to meet.
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Married couples who cannot conceive on their own
Need assistance and guidance, and helpful tone.
They heard they could rely on help from the giant
And booked up quickly as his very next client.
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They waited and waited until it was dark
Then climbed up the hillside, away from the park
They lay close together on the tip of his 'member'
And started to act in ways they should remember.

They tried lots of methods, positions and ways
Their inventiveness simply did not fail to amaze.
There was this way and that way - and perhaps this.
Their success they determined to hit - not to miss.

Just what was different I just cannot say
For when daybreak came, at first light of day
The couple walked down with wide smiles on their faces
And fond memories of the night's wild embraces.

They knew it was certain with child she'd be expecting
With no chance this time of their efforts rejecting.
Just what did he say, and what did he do?
No person who's done it will today give a clue!
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Well, that was something a bit different from Mr Bluelights, wasn't it? I had great fun doing this and it was published in 2012 in a ladies' fertility magazine.  I received an email one day asking if they could feature it.

I hope no-one was shocked - it's just meant to be good clean fun, and I did to write it tastefully.
For those wanting assistance from this giant urgently the road again is A352 and Cerne Abbas is not far from Dorchester
This post was 'inspired' when I drove past the giant, whom I have seen many times before, whilst driving an ambulance with a patient on a stretcher and with, yes, one of Eddie's Angels attending. Needless to say she had a fit of the giggles, quickly followed by lots of hysterics and wriggles and wiggles. Even the elderly patient sat up in her stretcher at the sight, remarking that she hadn't seen one like that for years, whilst adding that size is not everything! She was certainly no prude and must have been aged about 90. I am including an official website for the Cerne Abbas Giant containing more information for those interested.

Now to the question. Would you like another poem suggesting what the giant might have said or done? I don't think I dare, do you?

Following a comment I received asking 'does Viagra have an interest in this?', I added this footnote. 

Well I think the answer is no. However just a few days ago, after I drove the ambulance past the giant, a giant Homer Simpson offering the giant a condom appeared. This incited a few of the local inhabitants along with some paganists. I have a link to the Daily Mail article.

I am honoured to receive POTD runner up from David McMahon at Authorblog.

Thank you David - It is always great to receive this award and I congratulate all the others nominated.

My First Day as an Ambulanceman

I joined my present private ambulance company in November 2005

The owner of the company, Roy, was annoyed with Danny, a Paramedic.
Danny had taken Roy's jeep to the Pathology Department in the centre of Bristol. His mission was to view a post mortem - the gruesome thing!!

Roy is a member of the Salvation Army and plays the cornet in their beautiful band - they make a super sound - cool as you Americans would say. Roy was due for a practice session in a couple of hours . . . . . AND . . . . his musical instrument, including some of his fellow band members' instruments were in the jeep, which was hi-jacked by Danny and now in Bristol.

Jeepers!!! Roy was fuming!! "Why couldn't Danny take another car?", Roy insisted.

My first ever mission was to seek and locate this jeep at the Pathology Department, find Danny and Exchange cars - sounds simple, but I was not exactly sure where the Path Lab was.

I knew the general direction and called into the hospital where I thought it was and asked for the Pathology Department. I was greeted by a DEADPAN look by a 'thicko' on reception who uttered these immortal words, "Dunno Gov!", with not an offer to find information from elsewhere.

Not wishing to be put off by such negative vibes I proceeded across the road to an older and more promising possible location and knocked on the door - NOTHING! Knocked again - NOTHING!

A woman came out of a building next to this, saw me in my ambulance uniform and asked me if she could assist me. I mentioned that I was looking for the mortuary and had knocked on this door and noticed THERE WAS NO SIGN OF LIFE there!! Thinking this was exactly the criteria I was seeking, and suggesting I had reached the correct location, I was rather put off when the woman went into hysterical laughter and informed me that there were no STIFFS in that building and the place I wanted was just down that lane. She proceeded to give me precise instructions and completed the conversation by commenting I was far too late to assist anyone there from a medical viewpoint. I complimented her on her keen sense of humour and we had a good laugh and I proceeded on my way, sensing time was ebbing away.

With a new spring in my step I strode to the new venue and was transported to the mortuary and into the pathology department. I was aware of locating not only Danny the Paramedic but also a row of silent companions with sheets over them and their feet sticking out of the end as though they were lying at ease, all well regimented and silent. Danny was a bit put out at this interruption - the pathologist was just removing the front of a rib cage, just like Professor Gunther von Hagens did on his rather contentious TV live autopsy programmes. The officials did not mind anyone watching them work but my knees were beginning to shake a bit and I felt a bit squeamish, so I left pronto.

We swapped cars and JEEPERS again I had a huge learning curve because the jeep was an automatic and I had never driven one . . . . . AND . . . . it was a BRUTE and was parked in a small car park with only inches to spare between several cars. So I learned to drive it in the car park and without scraping anything I managed to get the jeep onto the main road and home to base.

I was greeted by Roy, the red faced MD who said, "Well done" and proceeded to take control and dash off into the sunset with blues and sirens going . . . quite illegally since there was no emergency . . . and off to band practice.

That was quite enough excitement for my first day, do you not think?
Oh I did not include a link to an Autopsy website - I sense you are not that keen to see one.

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In conclusion I must apologise for not visiting many of your sites lately - I am very busy with ambulance work and a new job there - I shall visit you as soon as I can. Meanwhile I can still push out an ambulance story or two and I am working on another 'biggy' - watch this space!!!

Proud Father on daughter's Graduation Day

Well, whose a clever boy, then? . . . . . . having a really clever girl who has graduated for a second time in two years - this time her Post Graduate Certificate of Education.

And . . . . she starts her new job in September in a very good primary school, teaching 5-11 year olds.

If you are looking in my princess, your mum and I are so very proud of you. A big well done and a huge cuddle from us both.
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I'm taking a few days off for a small break - I have a few non-blogging items requiring attention but I will be back soon.

He Flew The Nest Too Soon

After last week's story about the Peacocks I thought this story about their smaller garden cousins may be of interest.

I suppose it was about 10 years ago I started building bird boxes for our garden. But first, soon after our conservatory was built, I redesigned the garden, building a curved path and some steps and walls beneath a pergola I made, together with an extremely robust garden swing under an old Victoria plum tree. Sadly the tree is no longer alive but I used it as a frame on which to grow a lovely Clematis - variety: Elizabeth Montana. I took the photo earlier this summer.Looking underneath it today I shot with my new Panasonic F562 camera the old swing, strong enough to swing an elephant, on which the children and us parents had a lot of fun. You can see some bird boxes in the background. I am very pleased with the camera which is far more versatile than its rather archaic predecessor.Straight ahead is my Blue Tit box in which we have seen many successful broods over the years - and unfortunately some unsuccessful. I remember well a brood of birds flew the nest far too early after a violent thunderstorm which must have shocked them and although the parent birds still tried to feed them out of the nest, four of the fledglings fell victim to local cats - such is the cruelty of nature.
Here is a closer shot. The hole size for a blue tit box is critical and should be about 25mm in diameter so that the birds feel safe from larger predators. The box should face away from due south to avoid the sun's direct heat - probably due north is the best position.

Parents do not like second hand nests - it is part of the courtship procedure to build a nest together to cement their relationship with one another, so before they appear it is necessary to remove last year's nest. At the back of the box I have four screws so I can take the back off to clear the old nest every year.

It is very exciting when a pair of Blue Tits are thinking of nesting. To begin with they are extremely nervous and it takes a long time for them to pluck up courage to enter the nest box. I expect Mrs Blue Tit has the last word regarding the suitability of the abode and she soon gets him busy with nest building. I expect he thinks, "Why bother to clear the thing from last year - we could have saved ourselves hours and hours of work and I could have done the prize crossword instead?" But she gets her own way every year, bless her.
I built this bird table a few years ago and it is the scene of many a wintry squabble when birds compete for the food we place there for them. Above the table is a pair of semi-detached abodes but so far Blue Tits have rejected nesting there in preference to the detached property nearby - thus keeping up with the 'Joneses' and all that! A wasp queen was not so fussy two years ago and we had a minor skirmish with a swarm of wasps, fortunately small ones, dealt with by wasp killer, hence the white mark round the hole. Eddie Bluelights was quite equal to the task!

If you look closely underneath the table you can see Mickey the Budgie's old swing. For those who do not know Mickey he was my pet budgerigar, the subject of two humorous posts, Mickey the Celibate Budgie and Mickey the Love-Sick Budgie. I have noticed that wild birds have neither the wit nor the inclination to use the swing and so far I have never seen a wild bird perched on it or playing on it except an escaped budgerigar five years ago - perhaps Mickey's ghost.
Three years ago I built another nesting box, this time for sparrows, hoping in some small way to help them to recover from a serious disease causing a severe depletion of their numbers.

The holes are about 30mm allowing access by a bigger bird than a Blue Tit, who would not dare nest there.

There are three compartments in this house and every one has been used so far - yet not all at once. There would be no problems if sparrows nested there because in no way are they territorial. However to date sparrows have not nested there, but for the last three years we have been blessed by having a pair of Great Tits nesting and producing young. Either they return every year or the chicks when adult return there. The Great Tit is a very beautiful bird but very territorial. It is great having them there but they will not tolerate Blue Tits since they compete as rivals for their territory. So the downside is that we have not had any Blue Tits nesting for 2 or 3 years.

I discovered this little chap a few weeks ago - obviously a Great Tit chick who had flown the nest too soon.

He was exhausted and could not summon the energy to fly away from me - allowing me within 2 feet of him. I toyed with the idea of picking him up and putting him back in his box but read if you do that the parents will reject him. I did see the parents flying around trying to feed him but I did not give much for his chances.
He did manage to fly into this tree so reluctantly I thought it best to leave him with his parents. There was a very slim chance of survival - as it turned out the odds were against him severely for I saw him dead at the foot of the tree the next day. I really must research what to do with fledglings who leave the nest too soon to see if they can be reared somehow in safety until they can fend for themselves.

Blue Tit (from a book)

Great Tit (from a book)

I guess the American name for Blue Tit is Blue Bird - correct me if I am wrong.
And I wonder have you a corresponding name for Great Tit?___________________________________________________________

And now another surprise! I am honoured to receive the co-runner up POTD award for 14 July 2009 from David at Authorblog. I am very grateful to you David and wish to congratulate the winner, Hilary, and all the runners up.

Did you invite Mr and Mrs Peacock round, love?

I was dozing after a meal in our conservatory last weekend and was wakened by my over excited wife saying, "Wake Up! Wake Up! There are a couple of birds outside!"

"Are they in uniforms or not?"

"No! listen - there are two Peacocks on the garden shed roof!"

"Don't be so silly!" I retorted, getting settled in my chair and nodding off again.

"Quick, quick! Get the camera!! quick or you'll miss it."

"Must I?" Then I looked out of the window and I was amazed to see we had two peacocks on our back lawn - hardly regular visitors at any house these days. And there they were, cool as cucumbers - just breezed in to see us from out of nowhere! Was I dreaming I wondered?

By the time I got the camera they had moved closer and I managed to get three good shots.

There he is walking fearlessly closer towards me, displaying his feathers - his wife was round the corner behind him. Obviously he was on the scrounge. I backed off and then he and his Missus advanced. She seemed a bit shy and stayed in the background.
And after a few pieces of bread and a drink of water he puffed out his chest with pride.
Having had enough of our company they walked around the side path to the front of our house, crossed the road and went straight up to a neighbour's front door, followed by me. They stayed by the front door and then my sense of humour got the better of me so I slowly approached, rang the front door bell and carefully made my retreat behind a bush at the side of their house.
I heard the neighbour make a startled comment to her husband that some friends had called round to dinner. I appeared to join in the fun. We discussed where they might have come from but were unable to offer a suggestion. Mr and Mrs Peacock wandered down the road and headed off towards the park. I'm not sure what they eat in the wild - must look it up.

I remain totally baffled as to where these visitors originated!
It is not every day two large peacocks visit a humble domestic back garden!
Whatever next, I wonder - Emus, Ostriches?
I keep looking nervously over my shoulder - perhaps a couple of lions may walk round the corner looking for their dinner!