NUN JOKE

The Sunday Muse #86A

I could not resist using this great prompt as a vehicle for a Nun joke

Sister Marguerite was attending her duties when she noticed some of her sisters looking at her in a rather strange way, giggling and some making rather strange comments.

"Ah! sister Marguerite", said sister Cleo, "I can see you got out of bed the wrong side this morning!" and laughed and wandered off.

Sister Bernadette looked at her quizzically and said, "Did you get out of bed the wrong side today?"

"No, I'm ok, thanks, nothing wrong or unusual!"

"Sister Marguerite!!", said sister Theresa, "I can see you got out of bed the wrong side today!"

"No, I'm ok , , honestly!"

This went on all morning and she was beginning to get annoyed and made some curt comments herself as the morning wore on, 

Eventually she met Mother Superior who looked her up and down and was about to speak when Sister Marguerite cut her short by saying, "People have been asking me all morning if there is something wrong with me. Honestly, if anyone else asks me if I got out of bed the wrong side I shall explode, even if I have to say three Hail Marys as a penance."

"Well, my dear Sister Marguerite, I was not going to ask you that question but I do have another question I would like to ask.

"Why are you wearing the Bishop's shoes?"

lol

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No offence meant, just good humour, if any Nun's are reading.

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PLEASE CHOOSE ME

The Sunday Muse #85

My word, the weeks fly by, don't they?

Once again The Sunday Muse comes around.

I thought this prompt was very appealing so I just thought I would let the little kitten speak for itself

Thank you Carrie for this great prompt.

PLEASE CHOOSE ME

Photography by Guy Kawasaki

Please choose little me.

I hope you will agree.

I'm sort of cute and fluffy

Though I'm also rather scruffy.

Will you adopt me?

Other's have dropped me.

Can I share your home

Where I can freely roam?

You might well be smitten

With me now as a kitten.

I can't promise I will stay

In this form and in this way,

For one day I will grow.

Will you tell me then to go?

I'll still be the same me

Could I stay?  So please agree.

I'll sit there on your lap

And have a long, long nap.

While you gently stroke my fur

And I will gently purr.

If you don't show me rejection

I'll give you my affection

And bring to you a mouse

or a bird into your house.


Please choose little me
I hope you will agree.

Eddie Bluelights

7 December 2019

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CULINARY DISASTERS

The Sunday Muse #84

Image Source

Culinary Disasters On The Wall

The evidence in my kitchen is plain to see

My cooking is wanting to the nth degree.

Years of grime and greasy fat

Cling to walls of my one bed flat.

With huge high hopes I read each recipe

I read each twice with sheer necessity.

Ingredients prepared with loving hands

Made it safely to my pots and pans.

All went well until the cooking,

Was it something I'd been overlooking?

Because each heartbreaking burnt disaster,

Spattered walls and the ceiling plaster

My simple intentions to inspire

Ended in a raging chip pan fire.

It's a wonder I am alive to tell

Frequent disasters which did not go well.

That explains the wall erosion

Years and years of pan explosion.

Now I do not cook at all

It's ready meals from the local stall.

Eddie Bluelights

1 December 2019

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WHY DO ZEBRAS HAVE STRIPES?

This week I am very pleased to participate again in Carrie Van Horn's weekly poetry circle,

The Sunday Muse #39

Image Source

Hey Mate! Why Have We Got Stripes?

One day Zebra A said to Zebra B,

"Let's conclude the debate which we could not agree,

On why we have stripes, and what does it mean?

And why they are there to be clearly seen?"

"The answer", said B, "is simple, of course,

For without them we would look just like a horse!"

Said A, "That is daft and your answer is silly,

Please think and give reasons, you illogical filly!"

"Hmm, maybe it's all about recognition,
Courting and selection and mating ambition,
Imagine a stallion approaching a mare,
Walking with a swagger and a lusty stare."

 'Hey, honey, you're it, I'm in romantic mode!
We have the same stripes and a matching bar code!'"
"At last you have noticed," she said with a stutter,
As she brushed his fetlock and her eyelids did flutter.'"

Said A, "That's just plain nonsense and you well know it!
If you have any brain cells, wise up now and show it,
Us zebras have stripes and they are all the same,
Unlike tigers in Asia, all unique, scientists claim."

"I don't agree and I read it somewhere,
That our stripes are all different, just see over there,
That's Charlie, I can pick him out from the rest
By one little stripe ~ look there on his crest!" 

"An interesting thought, you speak like a tutor,
But our brains are all finite, and not a computer,
There are too many bar codes by far to remember,
With all combinations of each herd and each member." 

"It could be to confuse all those hungry predators

Lions, leopards, cheetahs and hyenas,

"I don't think you're right and my reason for saying,

Is stripes make us stand out, thus assisting the slaying!"

"I think what you say is entirely absurd,
That's why we stay close in a very big herd,
Where we're often safe if we all stick together,
Lions often miss out, if we run hell for leather."

"So the reason I feel it is not camouflage,

For a lion will attack us with wild sabotage.

It is in their breeding and for each hungry pride

They want us for food to fill mouths open wide!"

"Oh don't frighten me with that horrible stuff!

I'm feeling scared and I've had just enough! 

So tell me the reason and just what it is?

I'm keen to get answers for this very old quiz!"

"Research has suggested the stripes may be for

Cooling us down in a high temperature,

Because we are grazing in that very hot sun

Unshaded for ages, while we eat a ton!"

"But non zebra grazers feed hour after hour,
All prey for lions, wanting them to devour.
Impala, Antelope, Springbok, Great Kudu.
With none having stripes ~ ask any Gnu!"

"And how do stripes work, why should they cool?
What is the reason? and what is the rule?"
'A' said to 'B' that he'd work hard and try,
 To answer that riddle, to explain how and why.

"Heat strikes the black in a different way,
To the white all day long on a very hot day.
Where white meets black it causes an eddy,
Resulting in cooling, making us feel less heady."

"That may be so but I really don't buy it!
I think my solution is better, just try it!
It's all about flies which suck blood when they bite us,
And not camouflage, or lions that fight us!" 

"It could be infections from blood sucking flies,
Biting us as we graze, wanting us as a prize.
They could spread disease which would make us quite ill,
With a very good chance they might even kill!"

"Experiments show that for black and white types,
The flies are attracted, but not when in stripes!
When striped there's confusion and flies will not settle
So to bite and drink blood will not test their mettle!"

"So that is the way us zebras evolved.
It may be the answer to that old problem, solved.
But does this really prove 'stripes evolution',
And is it accepted as the true solution." 

"Darwin was puzzled and had no idea

about this conundrum, he was very unclear.
The fact is that for the last two hundred years
There is no solution, or so it appears!"

"All this may be rubbish as ideas we plod,
It could be the creator, let's call him God.
He may like our stripes and made us this way,
For he's King after all, and has final say!"

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Eddie Bluelights

20 January 2019

Research to this problem is still on-going  and scientists are baffled.

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I recently joined The Sunday Muse and just missed out on Muse #36 which I found interesting so I have written something HERE

A Delightful Spot On My Way Home

Something a little different from me today.

I am most fortunate and blessed to live close by to delightful scenery all around me. Sometimes we take it for granted when we have such beauty on our doorstep, yet sometimes it becomes breathtaking and hits us smack in the eye ~ like today on my way home from visiting my daughter and son in law in Bath. 

I had been helping decorate their baby's nursery ~ my second grandchild is due on 19th August.

I was thirsty and fancied a beer shandy so I decided to visit a pub called The Jolly Sailor,  just three miles from my house, and one of my favourite places on a fine day or summer evening.  It is situated near the River Avon and beside some lock gates and an interesting weir.

I neared the pub and was smitten by this view of the shimmering water with the backdrop of hills bathed in evening  sunshine and I just had to take a photo.

Last year I had walked up to the cluster of trees, known as Kelston View, shown on the top tight hand side of the photo, with wonderful views of Bath and Bristol.  I shall do another post on this sometime.  

I jumped back into the car and headed for the pub, just a few hundred yards further, but not before getting another shot showing more glorious countryside.

I parked the car and walked towards the river and I'd like you to share the beautiful weir awaiting my gaze ~ makes one glad to be alive.

. . . and then I panned a little further downstream to this delightful setting, with Kelston View just showing.

Behind me were busy working lock gates with traffic passing up and down stream all day long.

I saw something half way across the weir and I crossed over the bridge to the other side to investigate, taking another photo midway. 

I wondered what was in the water and so I zoomed on a was rewarded with this shot of a heron, standing in a million fragments of glistening water.  I managed to hold my hand steady.

I enjoyed my beer shandy beside the water and talked to a fisherman who said there was plenty of fish there to share with the heron . . and we shared the beauty of the evening for a while in conversation.

Just time for one last look at the backdrop of countryside before heading back home.

Just a quick resume about my leg.  I am pleased to report that it is healed completely and has taken just 2 months and not the year the medics thought it might take ~ I am so blessed to get that out of the way.

A VIEW WITH A MEMORY OF AMBULANCE DAYS

I was on Dial-a-Ride duty today and I drove one of my favourite passengers for his weekly hospital consultancy/appointment.  We arrived a little early to drop Don at the hospital and there was just time to show him one of my favourite views, overlooking the Avon Valley, just outside Bath. It was a lovely afternoon.  The River Avon runs along the valley, just out of site and so does a busy railway line and main road.

As we sat for a while talking and enjoying the view memories came flooding back into my mind of sharing this with someone else during my ambulance days.

I had just picked up an elderly lady from one of the hospitals in Bath to transfer her to another hospital in Bristol for treatment.  She was very distressed and not well at all but I could manage to transfer her from her wheelchair into a seat.  She was very anxious about her health and well-being and was very depressed and almost in tears.  

We got talking and I was able to make a connection and she told me the bottom had dropped out of her life, she had lost her husband a few years ago, her children saw her very infrequently and now her health was failing.  She had almost convinced herself that there was nothing left to live for.

She cheered up a little while we talked as I drove and I said because it was such a glorious day we would take the scenic route to Bristol.  I said I had time to show her a view which I liked very much and we pulled over and I lined the vehicle so she could see through the door. I remember it was a warm summer's day and I sat with her and said, "Just look at that! ~ you see, there are still a lot of good things left to enjoy!".

Her face lit up and she smiled and told me I was so kind and said she was so happy to share our conversation and the view.  We stayed there for a full 15 minutes and I said that the view is lovely all the way along the valley.

When we pulled into the Bristol hospital she seemed like a different person.  Her mind was taken off her troubles and at least she had found something to cheer her, albeit just for the afternoon.

This is why I loved the ambulance work so much, to touch someone, make a connection, and make them happier and how long did it take?  ~ just 15 minutes.

I don't know what happened to this lady, maybe she has moved on by now, but I often think about instances of magic like this, and many others.

The icing on the cake today for me was that while I was waiting for Don, I met some of my ex Ambulance Colleagues and it was great to chat with them over old times.  There may be a possibility of me working again in the service in a smaller capacity ~ I would love this.

PETER VISITS GRANDPA AGAIN

I am very pleased to report that my leg is light years better and healing fast.  From the initial verdict that it would probably take a year to heal the latest consensus of the lovely nurses treating me is that it looks like another 6 weeks or so.

I take no pain killers and attend the ulcer clinic once a week.  I can walk and drive as normal and therefore I am able to look after Peter again, with the nurse's blessing.

It has been a while since I posted about this little fellow:

Here he is, playing with his grandpa when he should be eating his breakfast.

Now don't you just love those big blonde curls and big blue eyes.  Boy he is going to break a lot of ladies' hearts later.

Eat your 'shreddies' and 'wheetabix' up, there's a good lad.

Earlier he found 'bobble hat' and put it on and was running all over the place squealing whenever he saw himself in the mirror . . . . he has a great sense of fun. Shame the photo is blurred. He moved so fast.

I took him into the garden and we had a lot of fun and I gave him a little dustpan and brush and he swept up the leaves . . . . he loved it.

He is very inquisitive too as can be seen when shining this torch onto the ceiling.

He did something which surprised me yesterday morning.  I was sitting in a chair and he got hold of my finger and led me out of the chair and into the next room, still holding my finger.  He got his changing mat and put it onto the table and then got a nappy and some baby wipes plus a bag of waste bags and gave them to me and then he put his hands out for me to lift him up and change him.  I thought how clever for 18 months and made a big fuss of him.  Next stop potty training.

All together . . . awww !