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Monday 16 February 2009

Blundering Brown Bankrupts Britain

Before boring Brown began badly bludgeoning British Bulldogs, brainy bullshitting barrister Blair boasted booming Britain. Big bangs banged, bloated bureaucrats blossomed, brilliant bankers blindly bet banks' billions, "Buy! Buy! Buy! Back-hander big-wigs bloomed beautifully. Brain-dead boozy busy bees bought boundless bid bargain basement bargains between beers. Buzzing brokers bayed.

Bluffing Blair backed-down, Brown became Britain's boss but boom became bust. Bread-and-butter businesses, believed bell-weathers, belly-flopped, banks became blocked, bankers borrowed biliously but blocked business borrowing. Bank-of-England base-rates bottomed, basic buying broke-down, balance-sheets buckled bankrupting British business. Bull-markets became bear-markets. Blood baths bombarded business boards. Bitter back benchers bickered. Business basics backfired. Benefits ballooned. Billions! Billions! Bedlam! Balance-of-Payments breech broadened bewilderingly.

Brown's buddy ('Beloved'), bespectacled bashful budgeter, becoming brave, blatantly borrowed billions, bailed-out banks. Bewildered Britishers belly-ached, "Big British bills bankrupting bulldog's broods". Brown "Britainised" banks but Bradford-and-Bingley became bust. Barclays better! Brown blamed banks. Banks blamed Brown. Big banking businesses blue-printed, "Big bonuses!"
Beware Brown, belligerent British bulldogs bellowed, "Block-or-begone!"
Betrayed boiling Britons, blaming blundering Brown, bellowed, "Banish Brown's band-of-bandits". Blue banners began big bombardment. Big battles begin. Begone Brown. B-off!

Blair beamed. Blair's bride beamed. Brown blushed. Budget-maker bit bullets, Bank-of-England boss bossed banks.

Plenty of Clouds here thanks to Messrs Blair, Brown & Company but the Silver Linings seem light years away. Even with a conservative government in power, which seems highly probable next election, it will take years to recover and to remove both personal and national debt with which this government has saddled us - it is huge. Mr Brown, as chancellor, squandered billions in pointless government spending when the coffers were in surplus, through good conservative stewardship. He should have set this aside for a rainy day, so he was just as irresponsible as the bankers for getting us into this mess. Gordon Brown used to use the word, "prudent" a lot but quickly abandoned it as he borrowed more and more and more to spend more and more and more. The last labour government, when Dennis Healey was chancellor of the exchequer, did exactly the same thing and ended up going to the IMF with a begging bowl to save Britain. This time round under the Blair/Brown debacle a point worth mentioning is that when Tony Brown and his 'New Labour Party' took over they inherited an economy from the Conservatives so strong it took them 11 years to ruin it. The conservatives will have to do it all again and won't get much thanks for it. My, the British electorate have short memories, don't they?

Since this original publication I have received a personal visit and complaint by Gordon Brown. He agrees that the content is entirely factual but his complaint is that there was no photograph of him included with the text. Consequently this posting has been extensively revised to include the two photos and some more suitable words beginning with 'b' when I find them. As a matter of courtesy I have written a short sequel just for Gordon and Alistair which can be seen on the next posting.

7 comments:

  1. Eddie it seems you have taken it to yourself to bring troubles to my life ( Just Kidding).
    If you start writing regularly than I will definately go blank. I spend 1/2 hour thinking what should I write which can justify your masterpieces. And in the end i can only manage to come up with average stuff. As I think you understand my way of reviewing, in future when you write a post, please consider spending 15 more minutes and submit me something which I can just copy-paste.

    On serious note thanks for notifying me, I have added your blog. Also what do you think about my suggestion of joining BlogCatalog?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Kim
    Many thanks for your encouraging words and for adding the bog and post.
    I am starting to contact a few bloggers and will certainly join BlogCatalog. Thanks for the suggestion. Thinking cap is on for the next post which is beginning to gel. I've revamped my personal profile which adds a touch of humour.
    Best wishes, Eddie

    ReplyDelete
  3. G'day Eddie - your comment made me smile, so I simply had to follow your link immediately.

    On behalf of the blogging community, welcome to BlogLand.

    Er, um, I think I can see a trail of determined footsteps in the snow, leading to your door. I think the boots belong to a fella called Gordon Brown.

    And, yes, do carry a camera with you, as you said in the comment. It's a great practice - and makes for some VERY interesting blog subjects.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Blooming brill! Brown's brainwashing but brushed brows! be bibleicious bad boy!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've arrived here very belatedly but agree with you 100%. What a complete and utter disaster Brown has been. But will he apologise - don't make me laugh, of course not. Still seems a long way and a time for a lot more damage before the next election. Hopefully then they will be out for a generation like last time.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bank Accounts For Bankrupts21 May 2010 at 12:29

    Here is lots of useful information about Bank Accounts For Bankrupts also you can directly apply for prepaid MasterCard, credit cards and debit cards.

    ReplyDelete

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