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Tuesday 15 April 2014

EDDIE GETS A MAKEOVER

I will get straight to the point - with no beating about the bush, whatsoever!!
Several of you ladies blatantly have come straight out with it - absolutely fearlessly and unreservedly.  

I have been informed in no uncertain terms I require a makeover!!
. . . . . .  and a radical one at that!

Of course you all insist you have my best interests at heart so I can enhance my appeal with the ladies, now I am single again.  Well, OK, I'll go along with the fact that some minor cosmetic improvements may well be desirable, but really, some of your suggestions!! - well I would never believe them possible! They are way over the top! Are they really necessary?
DON'T ANSWER THAT! lol

I shall spare your blushes, you culprits and others looking on and nodding and giggling quietly and I will be kind this time and refrain from revealing your identities

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!
Shame on you!! lol

The first suggestion of a possible improvement to Eddie's appearance was revealed to me in June 2011 when I had that dreadful time with my telephone when I was cut off for days by TALKTALK, my then Service Provider, and I almost smashed my telephone with that large mallet in frustration.  Remember?


OK, I received a fair few relevant comments about the situation and all of you were sympathetic.  Yet I remember a certain individual, one gal who was so excited she emailed me right way, 

"Eddie! You look ten years younger! Have you had a makeover?  Come on, Eddie it's either a wig or you've had a rinse, like I've been telling you to do for months!  You've actually had it, haven't you??"

I wrote back and said, "I've had neither, my dear", to which she replied, "You must have - me and my friend are certain  you have - it's gotta be one or other!"

I was forced to do something radical to convince her that it was just the different lighting that had made the difference and the only thing I could think of was to send her an email something like this!

THIS IS EDDIE WEARING A WIG! - Right?


But there is no way Eddie with the hammer was wearing a wig!! - Right?
Nor had he had a rinse! . . . . nor did he have his hair spiked up like you constantly suggest he does!
Now to convince you, do you realise I have had a great deal of trouble getting that wig for the photo?  I had to borrow it form a lady I know.  I have never had to ask a lady if I could borrow her wig before and it was a trifle tricky and very embarrassing!  The things I do for you! She gave me a real funny look and asked me why I wanted it.  I said it was for personal reasons but I didn't want it for long and would return it within the hour!  So she gave me such a funny look again and I was relieved when she said, "OK, but make sure it is not damaged".  I put it in a plastic bag, got it home, put it on and got out my camera. I was laughing so darned hard I dropped the camera, the wig fell off and I sat on it!!  Panic stricken I examined it and fell on my knees thanking God it was OK.  Then I managed to take the snap before returning the wig, saying to the bewildered woman, "That's better! - thanks!"  

She gave me a long hard look like I belonged to the funny farm.

My girl blogging friend and her girlfriend were in hysterics for days and weeks after that and eventually said, "We surrender!  we surrender! You must be right!  It must have been  less light shining on the top of your head on the original photo, but we both still say you need that rinse and while you're at it go to the gym and have a series of workouts!  Boy you need them!!  And then you might resemble a hunk!" 

You see what friends I have, don't you!!

Well let's fast forward to last Sunday.  Another dear blogging lady sent me a video!!  
Yes, a complete video about this poor chap giving himself a very painful and stressful makeover so he could find the girl of his dreams - the poor sod!  She said that I should study the video in detail and follow this guy's example if and when I ever thought of contacting a dating agency and if I did so I would be rewarded for my efforts and perseverance.

Just take a look at this!!
It's really funny lol

Hope you enjoyed that!!

Well, this lady said she and some of her friends consider I should:

1. Use the typo correction fluid to give me sparkling white teeth.
2. Use the safely pins to take the wrinkles out of my face.
3. Use the electric shock to straighten me and make me taller.
4. Use the file
5. Use the glue

in fact use everything!!

. . . . . and they have warned me against selecting too young and ravishing a lady like that gorgeous girl in the movie, otherwise when she sneezes in the car her face might blow off.

Another said, "Eddie, I will buy you the tools and all the equipment, and if you do it I'll then give you my mobile number!"

Another was not so encouraging, suggesting if I am lucky I might attract someone like this:
Hope she's filthy rich!!

Well you asked me to start blogging again - so here I am!

Confession time!
1. The two blogging ladies are real and they are such great friends - thank you both.
2. I used a lot of creative writing licence here, of course!
3. I'm not saying anything about the wig!!! ROFL

AND

I am grateful to Keith Smith at My Secret Journal for sending this video to my friend Betsy at My Five Men

56 comments:

  1. HAHAHA!!!! I had never seen those two pictures, of course. How funny! At first glance, I thought you were hammering out something on your body for the makeover! How relieved I am that is was only your broken phone! lol....

    Had to show The Mister that video...it's priceless! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great fun and enjoyed writing that!!
      Great video! . . . . . thanks!
      I think I need something more than a hammer! LOL

      Delete
    2. the wig story is really funny!

      Delete
    3. Yes - they really loved that!

      Delete
  2. I don't know who your blogging/e-mail friends are, Eddie...but they have brought you back to blogging, so I commend them...and you.
    The wig....uhmmm....not so much.
    :)
    Give your Grandson a hug from Jackie. Sending smiles and hugs to you and yours, my friend.
    J.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you Jackie - Great fun doing this!
    . . . . . and agree about the wig . . . . will never wear one again!! lol
    I will pass on your smiles and hugs to baby Peter and the family. ox

    ReplyDelete
  4. smiles...hey whatever it takes eh? err....i wore a long blond wig earlier this year...yowch on the ear hair...and then the bobby pins...geez.....glad it all worked out in the end...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROFL! I'm sure the ladies would love to see that, Brian LOL

      Delete
  5. LOL!!! Love the short film, but I hope YOU don't try those tricks at home, Eddie!

    Love the wig pic too!

    I will add my commendations to the friends who have brought you back to Blogland - things were starting to get a bit dull around here without you ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think the world is quite ready for a refurbed Eddie LOL

      Delete
  6. Brilliant post Eddie and so much fun to read, so glad that you blogged today. I hope that spring 2014 brings some great things for you!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Amy and thank you!
      Glad you enjoyed it! Partially blame Betsy! LOL
      Such good friends I have in Blogsville - I count myself so fortunate.

      Delete
  7. OMYG Is terrible and funny!!!! And laugh a lot Eddie!!! still Im laughing lol
    so good!!!
    xo
    I dont know why I was sure the lady has had a makeoer too!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL But I know you don't think I need a makeover!! Right LOL
      Glad you had a good laugh. It is very good for you!

      Delete
    2. Of course you don't need lol
      And is dangerous look how finish the man lol
      And the woman!

      Delete
    3. OK then! It's decided - if you don't think I need a makeover then I won't have one LOL

      Delete
  8. Thanks for the good laugh!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Martha - really appreciated the visit and glad I exercised your chuckle muscle!

      Delete
  9. Great post, Eddie! You outdid yourself on this one!!!

    So hilarious and you are simply a riot!!! lol Loved the video and laughed for over an hour!!! But I think that we all can benefit from a makeover from time to time. lol I recently had one and my phone is ringing off the hook with wanna be suitors!

    Also loved the wig and thought that the shade of red complimented your blue eyes! You should definitely put a rinse in!!! lol And while you're at it, get to work in your begonia garden! lol Gardening is great exercise! Cheers, cher!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Hello, Marguerite!
      Some excellent advice here.
      I wonder what refurbs you had to make your phone ring off the hook!! LOL

      Do you think I should wear the wig all the time considering it's colour compliments my blue eyes? If I did that there would be no need for a rinse and I could just concentrate on the begonia patch. Incidentally I am helping a lady with her garden once a week. Cheers cher!

      Delete
    2. I've noticed you spend a lot of time attending to your bergonias - must be the warmer weather! Yes, gardening is sometimes very satisfying and good for one's health.

      Delete
  10. Thanks Martha
    All good fun
    See you at Betseys often

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry Betsy, I said Betsey erroneously!

      Delete
    2. Oh, I respond to all spellings and nicknames. haha, ( well, nicknames within reason, of course! )

      Delete
    3. I always like to get a lady's name right!! LOL

      Delete
    4. Well, if you had called me Mildred or something completely wrong, that would have been different. haha.

      Delete
  11. lol that is one makeover you should really sell tickets too

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks Pat - these women are so demanding LOL

    ReplyDelete
  13. Where did you find that photo of my ex-wife? Is she beautiful, or what?

    Sent from the public library.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROFL
      Your ex-wife!!
      Well at least she is wearing an expensive Tiarra!
      Do you want it back?
      Do you want her back?
      ROFL

      Thanks for commenting and I hope you can fix the blogger problem very soon. We can then both gang up on Betsy in an endless stream of amusing comments ROF. She'll love it!

      Delete
    2. well, you know I would. But I'd get even some how. haha.

      Delete
  14. You're fine just the way you are, Eddie. Plus some of those "improvements" look downright painful. Ouch. Funny to watch, though. Even the dog was in on it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well thank you Suza!! ROFL
      I was hoping I would agree I would be spared those painful "modifications" LOL
      Yes the dog was indeed in on it but alas did not manage to find a partner.

      Delete
  15. Eddie, you make me laugh. So glad you are blogging again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed and thanks for not mentioning I require a makeover! LOL

      Delete
  16. I think you are fine the way you are and you've certainly got a good head of hair. You don't take after Dad, do you?

    As for the wig........ nuff said except to say you don't need it!

    I saw that video clip already! Very funny!
    Good to see you back!
    Maggie x

    Nuts in May

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I am lucky with the good head of hair which Dad did not have but Grandad did/ Must skip a generation in which case poor Jon.

      Yes, a great video, everyone loves it! luv xx

      Delete
  17. That was funny - but I'd stick with the real you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that's what I wanted to hear!
      EVERYONE, LISTEN!! Especially, you two culprits!! lol
      I DON'T NEED A MAKEOVER!!
      This lovely lady has said it! LOL

      Thank you.

      Delete
    2. Oh, you're just scared of those safety pins! haha.

      Delete
    3. LOL
      And I can't afford all the typo collection fluid required.
      But most of all I don't want to be dissapointed when she sneezes!! lol

      Delete
  18. Hi Eddy....you are just as crazy as I thought you were! Hahaha!
    No makeover for you.....great hair!
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)
    ps.....thanks for visiting me♥️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Linda and great to see you at my humble abode.
      I am so relieved I can keep my highly distinguished looking grey hair!

      The pleasure of vusuting was mine.

      Delete
    2. . . . . . . forgive the typo in the word, visiting. . . . . . can't correct it because I've used up all the typo correcting fluid!! LOL

      Delete
  19. Eddie yuhuuu you are so quiet...
    Maybe with all these ladies lol
    .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am quiet sometimes - need a rest from all those ladies!! LOL
      But I am pleased the most important one showed up eventually lol
      Did I hear you say, "I expect you say that to all the ladies!"
      And of course the answer is, "Yes!"
      Speak soon.

      Delete
  20. You're a hoot, Eddie. And most women would kill to have a head of hair like yours. No makeovers for you, I'd hope. How could you possibly improve on perfection? ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Head of hair!
      With or without the wig? ROFL

      How could you possibly improve on perfection? ;) Well perhaps that may be a slight over statement, but Marguerite, if you are tuned in to this TAKE NOTE!! lol

      Delete
  21. Very, very funny, Eddie.
    I think you look terrific but honestly, I think your sense of humor would win the ladies over ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Joanna.
      Having a bit of fun on this one!! LOL

      Delete
  22. Always entertaining Eddie. You look great, keep writing my friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Linda.
      I'll make a deal - I'll keep writing if you keep visiting!

      Delete
  23. That is a genius video, even though the safety pins looked painful! LOL :-) And my hair does just the same under different lights. Hehehe! I'm just an old badger...

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your comment. You are most welcome to my humble abode.