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Friday 3 April 2009

An unusual wedding, or should I say 767 weddings?

Ladies and Gentlemen. Here is an important announcement. You are cordially invited to the premier of a serialised play by Eddie Bluelights, entitled:

767 Weddings, 2 Irate Vicars and almost a Funeral
This quiet church will soon be a hive of activity with many unexpected guests and a few unlikely people dropping in. To find out more book an early seat for the marriage of the 19th century.

Tickets to Episode 1 are available now - Admission Free of Charge

Venue: "Clouds and Silvery Linings" blog site

Time: Anytime during Easter Week when I've finished writing it! Be patient please! I'm working as fast as I can, honest!

Please bring a Partner, a Bottle and a Psychiatrist !

Book early for a good seat in the top circle

Trailer - What's it all about? Simply a wedding in 1891 or should I say at least 767+ weddings. Someone's dropped a huge cod! Fancy that! All those people going to the wrong church and who are these mysterious people dropping in and terrifying the bride, groom, vicar and guests. You'll have to come and see for yourself. It's got everything - romance, intrigue, humour and most important, madness.
********************************************************************************** Preview of forthcoming attractions. I am presenting a serialised humorous play shortly about my family tree research and some very interesting experiences and historical fact and fiction that took place in 1891. I have added some bits and pieces and changed some names around so that my ancestors do not return and haunt me like Banquo's ghost. I hope to have it ready during Easter week. Until then goodbye my friends and Watch this space!.

Oh! and while I am writing the vicar has asked me to make a few things known from his church noticeboard.

This week's Bible Study - "What is Hell?"
Why not come early and listen to the choir practice.

This Week Special Studies:
Study 1 - Jesus walks on Water
Study 2 - Looking for Jesus

For Easter we have asked Mrs Lewis to come to the front of the Church and lay an egg on the altar.

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs Julius Belzer.


We are having some restoration work in the church over the next four weeks which means that the font could be at the front or the back of the Church. Therefore babies could be baptised at both ends.

And whilst we are on the subject of matters ecclesiastical here are some true stories about men of the cloth I have known.

Joke from a Canon: A religion teacher was teaching 5-6 year olds and asked the children this question, "Where is God?" expecting an infant equivalent of He's everywhere. A little girl put up her hand and said, "Please Miss, He's in the toilet!" "Oh! why do you that, Jane?" "Because, Miss, whenever my granny tries to go there she always says, 'God, he's still in there again!' "

Another Canon addressed us during a sermon and said an elderly lady stopped him in the street last week and told him she thought he'd died 3 years ago. "I have been praying for your soul for three years", she said, to which the Canon replied, "I'm so glad I have a large credit in my spiritual bank account!"

A friend of mine once rang his wife at 2am and said, "I'm OK love, I'm playing chess with a vicar!"

Another priest, this time an Irish one, once drank me under the table, much to the surprise of my wife who chastised me the next day. My little boy, as he was then, overheard her and next time he saw the priest with us he said, "Mummy said you gave Daddy far too much to drink!" He replied that I should have put more water in my whiskey - he didn't.

Back to writing the play! Tickets available still! Roll up! Roll up!

I hope you can come! Episode 1 will be posted on Tuesday or Wednesday. Rehearsals are in progress and are in a total shambles! Bodies all over the place!


  1. Oh, Eddie...there is simply nothing left to be said after this piece of comedic brilliance...The tears are running down my face...Oh, you do know how to win the heart of an old grammarian ... LOL! Too,too funny...Can't wait for the play...Love the photograph, btw. It's beautiful! Wish I could put that church in my pocket, and take it home with me! Have a wonderful weekend!!!! My best to you and yours!

  2. Thank you for the laugh, Eddie. You had me reading them out loud to my wife.

  3. Your church bulletin typos reminded me of a story told by a traveling preacher... This would have been some backwards thinking folks in the 1960's. The church service would be a day long event held once a month when the pastor made his rounds through that area. The story goes that this particular congregation had a woman of indeterminate age with many children and perhaps the child in question may well have been a grandchild. She chose to sit in a front pew directly in front of the podium from which the sermon would be given... On this memorable day she had with her a child of maybe 2 or 3. The little boy was acting out as any child will when they tire of being called upon to sit for long periods of time. The woman decides to quiet the child with a session of breastfeeding. Not being discreet at all she calmly unbuttoned the front of her dress and pulled her breast out and offered it to the child. Then interrupting the sermon she calls out to the child "Johnny, is this what you want? Johnny look here now, I've got it out for you. Alright, Johnny you'd best come on now and get this before the preacher does!!" To his credit, this did not deter the man from his calling, although I think he was happy to be assigned to a more populated area that didn't require traveling from one country church to the next.

  4. For a Monday morning - I'm actually smiling.

    Great blog.

    CJ xx

  5. Interesting...
    " bring a Partner, a Bottle and a Psychiatrist!" NO COMMENT! ha!

    I shall see you there Mr Eddie!

  6. Well, lookee here...some very lovely comments! :-) So glad your gem is appreciated!!!! I love your writing...I am addicted to your blog! And I wait for the next post...are we there yet??? Thanks for your kind encouragement, ALWAYS! You KNOW I am your biggest fan! Happy Monday!~Janine

  7. Those were funny jokes! Especially the "What is Hell" one.

  8. Love, love, love the Tommy Cooper video...what a stitch!!! I think I just found my inspiration for my next funny post...I'll be linking to you soon, my friend! Thanks for a wonderful laugh!

  9. LOL,very funny.your blog really cheers me up Eddie!cant wait for your next post.yeah!:O)

  10. oh,,,and thank you very so much for the congrats :)

  11. Looking forward to the next posts!

  12. Excellent. A man after my own heart.

  13. Eddie! I'm am beginning here and already laughing out loud and reading your bulletins aloud to the family. We are already enamored of you and your writing. I'm buckling in and can't WAIT for the ride. Here I go!

  14. this is so funny! First time visitor here - I'll definitely be back - possibly with my psychiatrist (LOL - babies being baptized at both ends :)


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