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Saturday 28 March 2009

Thinking Hat, Inspiration and, "Let's talk like Shakespeare"

Let's see, what can I post today? "Errr ! . . Umm ! . . Errr !"

If you're watching David, the dark lighting is intentional because at that moment I was 'in the dark' without even a 'flash' of inspiration. Taken at dusk f8 at 1/60 sec.

Do I remind you of a deep thinking Plato? or perhaps Socrates? Definitely from the same stable, do you not think? Don't be fooled by the rather vacant external features - inside there is a positive boiler house of activity and inspiration. Can you detect very powerful electrical impulses jumping from dendrite to dendron and flashes from left to right cerebral hemispheres? Truly inspirational!

But what about positive, creative thoughts for my post - anything there? Nothing riveting as yet, alas. But wait! Hold on a minute - something is coming! At the end of this post I wish to make an announcement concerning
a preview of forthcoming attractions.
But first, I wish to propose something entirely revolutionary - that is I wish to start a new movement to encourage people to speak in Shakespearean style again. We cannot emulate this great man of course but perhaps we could be Francis Bacons. This would be wonderful and very poetic! I am ashamed for I have not read any of Shakespeare's works for ages - his book of genius has been collecting dust on my shelf for years and I was inspired to have a look at it again recently . . . . . but it was gone! Knicked by my daughter, Francesca, bless her, when she went to University 4 years ago. Never mind - you may keep it my dear and I will get another soon.
My blank face on the photo represents the sheer effort I made on my previous post about 'Harley' when tried to write in blank verse - remember, when I ended up almost murdering Shakespeare. Some of you were too kind and did not have me arrested for heresy! I was trying to translate modern day sayings into how the Bard might have penned them for the Harley article but since this I have found I have been imagining everyday translations into Shakesperean and have been going around everywhere thinking in pseudo-Shakespearean.
At work I was asked by my boss where was my colleague Richard and I replied, "Tarry a while good Sir, for Richard cometh at this very hour, nay this very minute!" He looked at me as though I was bonkers.
Another example was when I attended the funeral of my good friend, Nora, earlier in the week and we met her grand daughter for the first time at the family reception after the funeral. When I saw Leanne I said to her, "Good morrow, fine lady, ye are a maiden of such beauty, the like I have not set eyes upon this very week, nay this very year even. Tell me I pray, how can it be that one so fair as ye can spring from the loins of that plain father whom I know so well." I was amazed when she replied, "I thank ye good Sir for your words so generous and for those rare compliments so fine - my lashes of mine eyes so long and fair do now but flutter in the wind - come sup with me fine Sir and we shall have a merry conversation with words so free and plenty. Come, you may embrace me on my cheek". Wonderful, if any young lad is looking in and wondering how to talk to ladies, try it in Shakespearean, you will not get your face slapped, I promise. She will see in you a man of class.
I did wonder, how on Earth did William keep it up, verse after verse, play after play, year after year? Obviously a measure of his genius and we know there now is an enormous following. Yet he was popular even during his own day, wasn't he?
I wondered whether they all talked like that in the Elizabethan era, 400 years ago, or was it just William? Surely not! OK he may have been a bit more verbose than others and obviously knew how to hatch and develop a plot or two and craft a canny story but he would hardly go home from work and say to Anne Hathaway, "Thank goodness I'm home, I can let my hair down now and talk properly for a change". It must have been the language of the day, so I wondered how Queen Elizabeth might have spoken to someone with whom she was displeased. Perhaps, "Pray good Sir, you have grieved me to the core and before this very day is gone I will have your head! Come, guards! escort this vile and evil man to my Tower and make him speak his secrets". They were all very polite with their "Good Sirs and Good Ladies", weren't they even when they were extremely annoyed or were about to kill or murder someone. We are not nearly as polite today - shame on us. The executioner might have spoken, "Good Sir! My sharpened axe is thirsty for your blood and at that appointed hour it will fall like falcon from the sky and sever that receptacle which houseth thine brains and thoughts from thine lifeless body. Aloft shall thine head be held whilst dripping blood, whilst from thy body jets of blood will shoot into the very air." Imagine that poor chap with his head on the block. He might say, "Prithee thee to make good speed with thine act so vile, for mine knees do quake and I am all a dither - kindly make my future dark and blank with utmost speed kind Sir."
I looked up William on google and asked, "How many children did William Shakespeare have?" The answer was, "How the heck do I know!" Yet in another place I learned, three - not many for those days and I wondered why. I have a suggestion the answer might lie in the language Bill used to Anne. For perhaps when the mood of love arose between them he might have concentrated a little too much on his words of love, this hindering his natural progress. Consequently he might have said something like, "Good lady Anne, I am not yet ready for the task that lies before me! Tarry a while and watch mine manhood bloom and blossom like a rose before your very eyes!" Oh Bill, you've blown it again! That's a passion killer if ever I've heard one. She'll start laughing and be no longer in the mood so you'll have to start all over again and when you do she'll start to laugh again. She might remark, "Good husband, I do not mock but merely show my mirth, for you amount to almost nought this day and to me you are as a little boy. Methinks we should postpone this pleasure 'til another day! But hark! I think two titles for thine plays with which ye wrestle, 'Much Ado About Nothing' and 'A Comedy Of Errors', my husband dear". "Anne you are an inspiration to behold, of former matters I will return this hour tomorrow but for now make haste whilst my mind reguritates sheer genius - tarry no longer, 'a pen - a pen my Kingdom for a pen', for I have Macbeth's soliloquy germinating in my brain and I wouldst make these words immortal, "Two truths are told as happy prologues to the swelling act of the Imperial theme . . . . . . . " Great William, you may have your inspiration but as for your wooing, you've had your chips, mate! Anyway that's my theory.
I noticed that some of Shakespeare is very rude and that's the beauty of this language really because if we all spoke in Shakespearean respectability comes into play and we can say whatever we want with no offence at all. There would be no Political Correctness to worry about - true freedom of speech would return to our shores.
I did wonder if , "Perchance had I liveth in a bygone age I would pen a tale so eloquent that even mighty bloggers would fall headlong base over apex in their rush, like a speeding arrow, to read my works of wonder". Yet 'perchance to dream' just a little, had Shakespeare been a blogger he would win David's POTD every single day, week after week, day after day, year after year. Poor old David would have to post him as winner every single time and recommend us to visit William to congratulate him on POTD for King Lear one day, Macbeth another day, Hamlet another day and so on. Further all 676 of David's followers (sorry 677, sorry 678, sorry 679) would have to make a comment of congratulation to William and poor old Bill would feel obliged to comment back to us, as accepted blogging protocol, every single time. It would take up so much of his time that he would not have any time remaining to create future masterpieces.

My wife thinks I spend too much time blogging and whereas I think she is correct "methinks the lady doth protest too much." I had better regulate my efforts otherwise you will be saying, "Alas, poor Eddie, we knew him well!"

Now ladies and gentlemen, do you agree with me that it would be really nice to talk Shakespearean again? Now I have had my say.

Enough of Shakespeare for now - I have to relay to you I have upset Danny the Paramedic at work because he has a 1350cc Kawasaki motor bike and all that stuff I wrote about the mighty Harley Davidson has caused him to complain, "What about my bike? It's much faster!" I said to him, "Danny, just look at the state of that bike, it's filthy - just clean it up a bit and I will take some photos and then I will write some lies about it. OK?"

Right with all that out of the way I have just remembered what I was going to say, right at the beginning of my post.

Preview of forthcoming attractions
I am presenting a serialised humourous play soon about my family tree research and some very interesting experiences and historical fact and fiction that took place in 1891. I have added some bits and pieces and changed some names around so that my ancestors do not return and haunt me like Banquo's ghost. I hope to have it ready soon. Until then goodbye my friends.


  1. Oh, too brilliant! One of my favorite bards and blogger unite for one mighty stroke of drama! But hark! Take care, or I shall place thee upon the stage in time... ages and ages hence and anon...and all that Elizabethan rot...:-) Forsooth, my bloggie friend....oh, bother...I can't compete...You and the bard win...time for me to exit, stage left...for heaven's sake, don't pull the trap door on me...even Macbeth's hags were extended some courtesy!!! :-) Cheers, my very funny friend! ~Janine

  2. You can have Shakespeare back next time I see you! x

  3. I may need to borrow your Thinking Hat. Great post!

  4. Oh most wonderful!
    This was a very entertaining post. I even tried this on my younger brother,who gave me a look, you know THAT look that says:
    Who hath made this havoc with thee?
    For the love of God, a priest!
    Send one presently to Madam Cherry
    for she has broke her head!

    However, my English Lit. professor, Madame Walditrudes Mesias will be so proud of me, without a doubt!

  5. This is my first visit to your blog via menopausaloldbag. Being a genteel southern belle I can truly appreciate your Shakespearean efforts......only with a drawl.

  6. I had something Shakespearean to say, but alas it is gone. Great post, valiant Bluelights!

  7. My Good Sir Bluelights, thou dost wax most eloquent. Truly I would follow thee on Shakespeare's path.

    And I'm done. Mainly I stopped by to (ahem) thank you for your kind comments on my POTD. I once played Portia from "The Merchant of Venice" but the only speech I remember is "the quality of mercy is not strain'd; it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath." Ironic, really, given the topic of my post. Thanks again. Shakespeareans, unite!

  8. Nice one, Plato! I like your sense of humor.

  9. Hi!I like your blog!had a great visit :)

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. Mr Eddie, I am seriously contemplating on removing that post. Perhaps it comes across harsh? Maybe I should give a warning on the header?...."Today, the girl from CBS is a bit grouchy?...
    But I wasn't grumpy. I was sleepy, sneezy, happy and dopey! :-)
    Let's see, I could not think of anything to write about but I needed to post something because my boss is away...shhhh...
    Oh that is the anime version of me illustrated by my friend. She loves anime. So she was nice to draw me while her boss was away!

  12. "A hat, a hat, my kingdom for a hat"
    I looked at yours and thought
    "WHAT is THAT!
    Are you going out in the sun
    When all your ambulance work is done?
    You put it on when you want to peruse?
    Well...... you look more suited to a cruise!

    No..... don't think Shakespearian is a good idea!

  13. You are just too clever for me Eddie and I'm very envious. Great writing.

  14. Loved the photo, and the humour! Truth be told, I find it hard enough just stringing a sentence together in the language I was born to, I think Shakesperian is one leap too far for my tiny little brain! This was such a fun post Eddie, I can't wait to see what you do with your ancestors.. smile.

  15. I love your thinking cap! :) Hilarious post!

  16. Eddie, thank you for visiting my blog. You have quite a poetic touch here; the bard would be pleased indeed.

  17. Hello!:)
    thank you very much for your very kind words!very happy to find your blog!I managed to read all your archive,I'll do it soon!Now I am really busy with my school assignments!
    and thank you for following my blog as well!I am a follower of yours now.

  18. I study historical linguistics and I think that Anne Hathaway, given her background, would have said something like this:

    Yer me babber, I ain't gettin baity wiv thee but ee looks 'bit sad dohnee?

  19. Hi Sam, thanks for that - Anne certainly did Hathaway with words!


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