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Thursday 24 September 2009

The Wizard Of Oz - Glinda's Plan and into Oz

(Continued from Suldog's Plan)

Just as a refresher, this little rhyme
Shows Suldog's goal, after biding his time
He planned this nasty and dastardly deed
To quench his hunger for power and greed."
altogether . . . . . . . . . "Booooooooooooooooo!"


But meanwhile elsewhere an urgent crisis meeting was underway in blogOzland

Four beautiful queens of Sheba spent the morning deep in conversation inside a northern castle. There was an air of expectancy! Never before had the entire population of Oz been under threat by so powerful a foe.
A foe yet hidden from all but a few in the know

"It's not all Suldog's fault! He's been lost to the enemy! . . . . and so has Lakeviewer . . . . and so has Crystal Jigsaw! All three have all been 'processed' and no longer remember anything concerning who they really are and in their current state of mind they think their present is their reality. As they are, particularly Suldog, they are terribly dangerous but we must try to rescue them. First we have to protect those uncorrupted from these three and this foe and then see what we can do about rescuing those 'processed' later! Are we all agreed?"

Glinda, known as Lady Janine from the province of Sniffles and Smiles, was speaking. She is known as the good witch of the North. All three companions nodded in approval, still wearing serious expressions on their faces.

Lady Meredith, Lady Cherry and Lady Lola sat attentively on the edge of their chairs as Glinda leaned forward and spoke quietly, "I have a plan; it must go without a hitch and you all have a part to play . . . . . ."
She continued . . . "Look! ¬ it's starting - Dorothy is running away with Toto TinkaBelle - she'll soon see David posing as a Professor Marvel - he has an urgent message for her to pass to Eddie. I know we are all looking forward to seeing him - we all know him so well, but alas he always wants his fantasies and freedom - and perfect situations must go wrong occasionally - but enough of that for now. Eddie is the key as long as he wears that gormless expression and always struts around looking like a straw Scarecrow seeking a brain - what wonderful cover! They're bound to fall for it. Lady Marguerite is playing along with Suldog but we all know Eddie has a roving eye and she's caught his fancy right now - as he did to all of us once - isn't it madness he can't be mine, ours . . . . oh I don't know any more!"

"Look!! . . . Marvel has persuaded Dorothy to return home - she'd better hurry because Breeze has orders to begin the storm, later intensifying it to a twister - then events will be unleashed which we have to watch and manage very carefully. We must be ready to intervene at Munchkinland. Eddie is in place just outside the village, so is Michael, further on, disguised as a silly Tin Woodman and further on along the Yellow Brick Road is Brian disguised as a Cowardly Lion. By the time they reach Emerald City our plan will be well under way. Quick - it's starting - we must ready ourselves!"
Meanwhile two invisible forces met head on, arguing for domination and each in turn had her say as their battle raged - First was Breeze who blew gently at first, gradually intensify until she domineered with a huge and powerful tornado in Kansas. Then Breeze blew herself out and was subdued eventually by Tranquility and Stillness
(The story progresses)

Dorothy had sung a song
About a Rainbow bright and long
She wondered if at where it ended
All her troubles would be mended.
You see from home she'd run away
To keep that nasty Miss Gulch at bay
From stealing her beloved Tonto
She'd run for many miles, and pronto!

She met a man, a fortune teller
He said I'm David - not that 'feller'
Professor Marvel, saying, "Are you ready
To take my message to straw hunk Eddie?"

"tell him . . . . .

"he must look straight at his foe's eyes
And not to listen to their lies.
Tell Eddie that they cannot stand it
And he will beat them - I command it!"

"And now go home, its getting rough
The wind is blowing very tough".
She said to him, "OK Mister!"
And then she saw a mighty twister.

She kicked open the garden gate
And then she saw her nasty fate
She could not get into the bunker
The worry of it nearly sunk her.

She crashed into the house instead
And landed firmly on her head
This made her to fall into a sleep
And see strange things when counting sheep.

The house did shudder and did fly
High in the air and into sky
She marvelled as she saw a cow
Flying past - she knew not how.

And then a granny in a chair
Waved and smiled when in mid air
She smiled and was mildly elated
When her rocking chair rotated.

She saw a woman on a bike
Who she knew well and didn't like.
T'was Almira Gulch - the bitch!
Who changed before her 'to a witch!

She took off quickly on her broom
And quickly made a sonic boom.
She marvelled at her aerobatics
And how she skimmed the roofs and attics.

Then all was still and even handed
Because the house on ground had landed.
Dorothy and her little dog
Looked and walked outside 'agog'.

For everything she saw looked fuller
With detail painted deep in colour
She thought she'd found where rainbow ended.
It was the place where colours blended.

She waited there for a few seconds
"Methinks there's someone here", she reckons
And then a face or two appeared
And slowly to her several veered.

"You are a good and powerful witch
To kill another in this ditch
That lies below the house that's landed
Upon the witch who's power's disbanded." "The wicked witch of East is dead
That heavy house it squashed her head
And now her Cherry shoes are yours
According to our rites and laws."

Dorothy asked, "Who are you?
And who are these people in this queue?
For you are becoming very many
Where's your leader, have you any?"

"I'm their leader, Marcy Poppins
I always come to meet new 'drop ins'
That wicked witch was from the East
So nice of you to kill the beast!"

"She held all Munchkins in her power
Until you freed us at this hour
You have to be a witch of note
The strongest one that any wrote."

"Oh no I'm not a witch at all!
I'm just a girl and not too tall!"
And then a lot of people came
To see their hero, now of great fame.

"We're from the village and nice folk",
Marcy told her, as she spoke,
"Our group is known as Village People
From far and wide beyond church steeple."

"There's Eileen, Jerelene, Rebecca, Diana, Lisa, Jackie, Marcy, Bernie, Teresa, Wanda, Linda Higgins, Angie
To put that lot into verse
Would make me sweat and start to curse
Their addresses if you do come Marcy's way
Are on her site, Blessings Each Day


Four silver orbs floated towards them from the sky, approaching nearer and nearer and becoming larger and larger, fully materialising into human form and eventually settling nearby. They were all beautiful ladies dressed in white each holding a silver wand and each smiling at Dorothy, who looked at Janine, enquiring of them all, "Which witch are you? . . . . and you? . . . . and you? . . . . . and you?"
"We are all slightly different and we all come from the North - I am practically perfect in every way and my name is Glinda. I am the good witch of True North and these ladies are also powerful white witches and my companions."
The next witch stepped forward

"I am Lola, mostly a good witch of the Magnetic North.
My blog site is Algio, Olio & Peperoncio and I am known for my magnetic personality - I am good for most of the time but occasionally I stray a little because if you must know I have rich Italian blood coursing through my veins and I am only human . . . . . . . . . and by the way I dress like this on Friday and Saturday nights when I pop into Rome to look for the local talent!

The next witch stepped forward

"I am Lady Meredith of The Things We Carried. I am the good witch of Grid North. I too sometimes have a slight weakness for men in uniforms, men with a good sense of humour and a men who are romantic - if all three qualities are present in one man, as in the case of one man I know, then my knees go weak, my eye lashes flutter and I hear romantic symphonic music in my ears and I walk around in a daze. "
The next witch stepped forward
"I am Lady Cherry of The Girl from Cherry Blossom Street - I am the good witch of Due North and Mr Eddie loves my cherry red boots and white dress and last year I kissed him on the cheek and he still won't wash the lipstick off."
Suddenly there was a blinding FLASH and a puff of RED SMOKE followed by a cackle of laughter and a blood curdling shriek that none had heard in their entire life time!

All except the witches rushed for cover!
It was Suldog, the wicked witch of the West
Whose aerobatic prowess was simply the best
He looped the loop and victory rolled
With such precision they were all left cold.

He buzzed them all this way, and then he returned
They gazed at his flying as he twisted and turned
He landed quickly in a puff of red smoke
With a thick acrid smell that made them all choke!


Well well well! What have we here! Little Dorothy and her pathetic little dog! Toto TinkaBelle indeed!

Where are my red shoes? I claim them from my sister lying dead beneath that house.


Just then a woman stepped into view waving her arms like a mad thing!

"No! I want them!



It was Fat, Frumpy and Fifty, who shouted at the top of her voice, "Now look what you have done! I am waving my arms about in a tantrum - MUMMY, Moanie, I WANT THEM!!



Glinda - "I think you are in the wrong film - you should be in Cinderella, just down that road, first on the left, and they are glass slippers and not red shoes!"

"Oh! Sorry my mistake OK! Bye!"

Suldog - I am not in the wrong film for I am the powerful wicked witch of the West and I claim my shoes - NOW"

He was about to wrench the shoes from his deceased sister when they vanished and appeared on Dorothy's feet.

Suldog - "Holy Mackerel on ten thousand fishing lines! Give them to me or I will get some white chalk and draw a giant rude man on your nearest hillside and it will be bigger and better than the British one because I am American!"

Glinda - "Go away you silly little man - you have no power here in Munchkinland - boo! and go!"

Suldog - Very well - but I will get you Dorothy and make you give me the red shoes elsewhere - you have not heard the last of me!"


Off he went in a puff of red smoke to the cheers of the Munchkins and Village people.

Glinda - "Dorothy, as long as you wear these shoes you are safe from the wicked witch of the West. Keep them on along the Yellow Brick Road on your way to The Emerald City. You shall meet a straw scarecrow just outside this village - stay with him and there are two more friends along the road as well!"

Glinda (to the other witches) - I can just see Eddie in the field there. We must see him!

Meredith - "Yes! Wasn't it good?
Cherry - "Yes! Wasn't it fine?
Lola - "Isn't it madness?
Glinda - "He can't be mine!"

. . . . . come let us tell the villagers about it!

Lola - "Yes I'll video it for him while you three sing.

The four ladies STEPPED forward and took STEPS to make themselves even more glamorous and STEPPED onto the stage to tumultuous applause. They looked stunning! Cherry led, followed by Meredith and the little brunette was Glinda making a lovely little wiggle as she began to sing.

Even though they were smiling at the end of the song inside the four ladies cried, Dorothy cried, Toto TinkaBelle cried, Marcy Poppins cried, all the Village People cried, all the Munchkins cried, even Suldog, Lakeviewer and Crystal cried because they were watching in Crystal's magic Jigsaw . . . . and not far away the tears were rolling down Eddie the Hunk's face for he too had seen them sing on his mobile Skype broadband service provider in a field nearby
(To be continued)


  1. Oh, Eddie...this is outrageous!!! You are the master of the theatre of the absurd!!! You have me laughing until the tears stream! Bravo! But you have made me too big a role...I am extremely humbled...Yet, I shall all the more look forward to future installments when I can discover the fates of Dorothy, Eddie, Michael, and Brian...and of course, Toto TinkaBelle...And I do long to see Suldog and Crystal Jigsaw redeemed!!!! Write on, good sir; write on! Hugs, Janine

  2. Oh MY gosh! Help, I am laughing so hard, I am nearly crying. On top of it I see Janine has called you the Master of the Theater of the absurd :)! Sooooo funny! I love how you did this and used Fat Frumy and Fifty's profile pict so creatively. The words were perfectly matched to that humorous picture she uses. Eddie, you are hilarious! Truly! I wait, of course, with great anticipation to see what your master mind will next contrive for so many of my dear friends here in BlogOZland! Thank you for including me in the fun!

  3. Oh, Eddie you are too much! Waiting for the rest of the stroll down the yellow brick road.....

  4. You are one funny bunny, Mr. Cute Hoot!

    Do you think we will all become famous movie stars when this goes public??? Are you sending this script to MGM or some British film maker like Guy Ritchie??

    What about Toto Tinkabelle...will fame go to her head and she'll have trouble walking because she'll be out of proportion???

    What about autographs? Eddie, have you seriously considered the implications of this grand production...we'd better have smelling salts ready and maybe even a few smelly peppers too!!!

    blessings and chuckles,


  5. This is an award winning production Eddie and thank you for including my name...I hope to reap benefits from it down the road somewhere. We( The Village) do have contracts for benefits don't we? I'll have to speak with our leader Marcy Poppins about it. You do have an imagination Eddie...a little wharped maybe...but funny!!!

    Wanda from the Village

  6. are having too much fun with this...and I'm glad. You have put time and thought, much creativity, and a splash of oooo laaa laaa with the blog photos you have woven into the masterpiece. You know that we are all getting great pleasure out of it...but I am imagining that the Wiz himself is getting satisfaction from a job WELL done! You are great, Eddie. Thank you...from the top of my head to the bottom of my red slippers...

  7. This is very funny!
    (Still looking for my name though!)
    Can I be a Japanese Imp?

  8. Eddie! This is a riot! I love it! haha...the rhymes are very good too it made me smile nonstop and laughed hard at the "Cinderella" shoe part!

    'looking forward to the next! booooooo Suldog booooooo.^^


  9. The witch's feet rock! I really have this feeling that you could succeed Ms. J.K Rowling! The attention to detail is amazing Eddie :D I am honored to have been mentioned here (Smiling wide)

    Your sense of humor is so refreshing Eddie. You seriously must consider hollywood scriptwriting :)

  10. Those are MY feet sticking out of the shed! I wondered where those shoes had got to!

  11. hahaha..this is amazing Eddie. the pics were hilarious as well. so cool to see so many friends captured by your imagination! be back soon!

  12. Sniffles & Smiles - Janine, thank you very much for your witty and generous support which means a lot to me.
    This episode was very difficult to write but glad I stuck with it and the song at the end made it all worth while. On to the next episode wher I come to life as a straw man - crumbs! Thinking Hat please! ~ Eddie x

  13. Eddie!

    I am flabbergasted, flummoxed, stunned, and delighted! Amazed, actually. This is such a huge bit of good work! And not just because you've made me a star (even if I am the sort the audience hisses at) but just a jolly good bunch of laughs no matter who you put into it.

    From the bottom of my evil heart, I applaud you, sir.

  14. The Things we Carried - Meredith, thank you so very much and it is my privilage to include you in the fun - your company in these situations is delightful - stand by for some great fun in the next episode, which I have just started writing - please be patient - I have to remember how to woo a lady! ~ Eddie x

  15. Kathy's Klothesline - Kathy, great to have you here again - thanks for your support and hope to see you next time ~ Eddie x

  16. Blessings Each Day - Marcy, thank you very much. You'll just have to get used to being famous - practice autographing and waving to the public! LOL - see you soon, Eddie x

  17. Wanda - Thank you - I think you have discerned I am slightly mad - I must be to do all this but I LOVE it and eager to start the next episode. I really must intriduce myself to the other villagers when things quieten down a bit ~ Eddie x

  18. Teacher's Pet - Jackie, as ever thank you for your very kind words - it is a huge pleasure to write this and try to include all my friends in it somewhere ~ Eddie x

  19. Nuts in May - Maggie, no worries - you appear soon (I think!) if not a bit later - working on it! Sorry, I can't let you have the shoes! Fat, Frumpy and Fifty and her Mum, Moanie would be after me hollering!!

  20. Sassy Scribbles - Sassy, I just love to make people laugh, and I am so pleased you are one of them because, as we say in Northern England, you are a lovely lass with class! Writing away with the next one ~ Eddie x

  21. Tranquility - Well, I think you overstate me but it would be wonderful to do all that. You have a 'calming effect', Tranquility but to be compared to JK and a Hollywood scriptwriter - WOW!! ~ Eddie x

  22. Brian Miller - Brian, thanks a lot - hope I can keep it up! puff! pant! - on to the next one!

  23. Suldog - Jim, I am particularly encouraged by your wonderful comments which actually lifted me a lot from being depressed about David McMahon quitting blogging. He is one of the main characters in fact he is The Wizard Of Oz so I have to get round that somehow. Might just finish it as planned in honour of him. Thanks again, Eddie

  24. Eddie, this is fantastic, and I admire your wit and hard work......and Eddie you can count on the "village people" we have your back, Marcy is a real marshmellow inside.....looking forward to all you have to tell us my friend,
    have a great weekend......:-) Hugs

  25. You'll be up for an academy award for this one, cher! So hilarious and entertaining! Love the pics and how you described everyone. I can hardly wait to see what you have in store for me in the next act. Your imagination is exceeded only by your good looks and charm, mon amis.
    Cheers, Sir Hunk!!

  26. Just checking in to see if evil has received its come-uppance!!! Wondering if Dorothy has begun to dance down the yellow brick road...and if our man, the Scarecrow has yet saved the day...Wishing you much inspiration for your mighty pen! ~Janine XO

  27. Hello Eddie! I am so thrilled that you named me in your production. You are one creative guy! I'm loving all of it! I'm just thankful I didn't end up under the house :)can't wait to hear more!!!

  28. well, well, well, three holes in the ground, as my late grandfather used to say..... this is quite the production!

  29. Hi Eddie...It's Dorothy...I see that Jim has posted...and I'm skipping even faster now that I see that he is behind me! But, I know that he (she ??) will have a hard time catching my slippers have that ability to 'take me home'...and I know (HOPE) you will deliver me safely. You are doing a fantastic job!! Is there any way we can persuade David to stay.
    Shall I leave the yellow brick road and go and have a talk with him? Thank you for all your are amazing!! Yes, you are!!!

  30. This is hilarious. Eddie you are a Master Crafter of Humor. Giving us a high dose of fun, and suspense, I know it's a lot of hard work and effort from you. The reward should be commensurable. we all love you here at Blogland.
    It's a great idea to dedicate the thriller to David.
    Can't wait for the third episode.

  31. Jerelene - Glad you like it and I hope to write part 3 soon - I too am glad the house did not fall on you - Im not insured either LOL
    I'll try to see the other villages asap

  32. Bernie - thanks my love and if only there were 30 hours in a day - I hope to cisit soon and the CD will be posted soon I promise - blame the Missrs she keeps giving me jobs to do LOL

  33. Marguerite, my sweet! of Cajun Delights. We might meet next time ot the time after but one thing is for sure, romance is in the air!! Watch this space, but please don't race - I've got a bad hip!! LOL

  34. Shammickite - great to see you and thanks for your encouragement

  35. Teacher's Pet - Jackie - thanks for your second visit - appreciate your support.

    Sniffles & Smiles - Janine, always great to have your comment.

  36. Introspection - Many, many thanks - that is encouragement indeed! x

  37. Oh didn't think I'd visit only TWO times, now did you.... better get used to seeing that pink shirt and the camera hiding my face!! I'm gonna be right here....loving to read the comments of your followers....and supporting you all the way. You are terrific. I'm your biggest fan (OK....I'm among your greatest fans....OK....I like you a lot... :))) )

  38. Jackie - You make me blush! . . . and I LOVE IT!! . . . . AND YOU!! LOL

  39. You are too much fun!! I'm cracking up over here!! I will be back soon!!

  40. Eddie
    I don't believe you go to work. You havent got the time!!

  41. Cheffie-Mom Great to see you Debbie. Don't crack up too much we want you intact for . . . not sure yet but you are in it somewhere in Cajun country I think - bring your restaurant please - the are getting sick and tired of eating shrimps and grayfish - we need some waffles! Their skin is getting too greasy! Yes that's it!!

  42. Grumpy Old Ken - I thought you were asleep in the Chair jump in my Grand National, did you see it? Shhh! but I write a bit of this in the back of my ambulance - I bash the patients over the head to shut them up and then carry on writing. You do have a point - I do require at least 30 hours in a day. Great to see you amongst this carnage I am wading in through all these witches and Munchkins - God knows where we go from here!!! But I'll think of something bi doubt ~ Eddie

  43. Creativity, thy name is Eddie.

    (Whisper ... I didn't have time to reply to your email last night, but yes, all those suggestions about the ``handover'' work well. Will be in touch .....

  44. David - Thank you very much on both counts. I am highly honoured and very grateful.

  45. Eddie...Who are you calling witches??
    Gals and Guys....did you read that?? Posted Sept. 28 @ 19:05
    uhmmm hmmm....
    'wading in through all these witches and munchkins...'
    There are ears in these woods...and the trees have arms...

  46. Bravo, Eddie, Bravo! Like Janine said, you are the master of the theatre of the absurd! Can't wait to see the next episode, but you must be plain worn out from the weight of your thinking cap!

  47. Teacher's Pet - Hello my faithful little girl in the pink shirt hiding behind the camera, Dorothy I think.
    To answer you question I am completely overwhelmed with where I can put al these witches, monkeys, munchkins and Marguerite's Cajin Delight People, the Village People, you, the dog, me, Tin men, Lion Men, Eddies Angels (elect variety and fallen variety), Marcy Poppins, Debbie's Waffles etc. And now you are questioning me like a lawyer - it's not fair - Rant Rant! It's becoming complete and utter chaos and looking more like a Groucho Marx film every day! Now that's an idea!!! My thinking cap is still working!!
    I'm off to bed and will probably be dreaming of this thing I've started and . . .gosh Halloween is coming . . . oh no! I'll be carted off to Pendle!! ~ there, that's given your chuckle muscle some exercise - thanks for all your support ~ Eddie x

  48. Gastons Studios - I'm worn out already and I'm still in the cornfield! What am I to do?
    Thanks for the visit and the thinking hat should help a bit like Harry Potter's sorting hat ~ Eddie x

  49. wow eddie, this is FAB!!! Your imagination soars and you really do kick ass!

    How do you manage this is a marvel to me...I never wrote anything bar school and recently open uni essays before l came here, and the tutors always marked me down for terrible grammar and structure.. Here though everyone seem to blossom and grow and feel fearless i their writing..
    Thank you for this, looking forward to the next instalment...

    saz x

  50. F,F & Fifty - Saz, thank you very much for your valued comment and for being such a good sport! I hearby announce you shall be required in my next play - Oh Gosh! What am I saying! - not another one! HELP!

  51. Is Mr Eddie Bluelights ever on duty? :-)
    Oh my, you must have your laptop on you at all times! Have you perhaps succumbed to somnambulism (which could be a manifestation of your highly creative mind)?

    Oh I am a witch! Thank you, what an honour! :-)

  52. Cherry - It's so late here but just seen your comment - I roared when I saw you say "Oh I am a witch! Thank you, what an honour!" A nice witch Cherry - you are a very bewitching person.

    That line made the whole thing worth while!! I'm rocking on the floor!!!
    You are so very clever with your choice of words. btw You sing very nicely!! LOL
    Great to see you and I want to adopt you please. Mr Eddie xx

  53. Wowza, Eddie! Thanks man, you made me look so sexy in that witch costume!!

    This was so much fun! I can't wait for the next episode. Love the pictures and Fat, Frumpy and Fifty's parenthetical was hilarious. You've put so much into this one, I compliment you.

    I wave my sparkly magic wand on you and wish you a wonderful weekend!

  54. Lola - see what you do to me!! LOL LOL

  55. That bit with using the Fat, Frumpy and Fifty profile picture is a classic!

    This silly tin woodsman can't wait for the next installment.

  56. Eddie, I'm beginning to worry about the welfare of all of those needing your help by paramedic. When do you time to write such wild happenings?

    That was Lola in the witch costume? Holy smokes!

  57. God Of Another World - Michael, I must get back on rack with this after the Roast business. You are 'activated' next episode with an oil can

  58. Woman in a Window - Erin glad you have drawn back the curtains and I can see you - I will rescue you from the Tower, don't worry.
    Great to see you here and I had a great surpise when I saw your comment - Thanks ~ Eddie x

  59. Finally, I've had the chance to catch up and read this fine piece of blog humour. I even know some of the players! You're a very creative guy, Eddie, and I look forward to reading much more. Thanks. :)

  60. Hilary - Thanks a lot for the visit, your delicious company and for you encouraging comment ~ Eddie
    PS Will have to find a part for you somewhere (over the rainbow for sure!!)

  61. Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed reading it, you are a great author.I
    will be sure to bookmark your blog and will often come back later in life.

    I want to encourage you to continue your great posts, have a nice weekend!

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